It's "Power to the People" tonight on Raw, or "#WWEP2P" as they're calling it on Twitter. That oughta show people who torrent your shows, WWE! Follow me on Twitter for the ongoing silliness of the evening and of course, refresh your page for the live blog. Let's have fun!
And we start things off with CM Punk! He promised a major announcement after defeating Rey Mysterio last night, but first he has to tell the audience that he does not trust them with the content of the program tonight. After all, they chose to live in Baltimore, "you could move!" After defeating John Cena last week and Rey Mysterio last night, he wants to be declared the #1 contender for the WWE Title and he wants his shot in his hometown of Chicago at the Money in the Bank PPV. By the way, he won MITB two years in a row, in case you forgot. The G?M will take it under advisement, but wants Punk to leave the ring, so Punk responds by making snow angels in the middle of the ring. The G?M takes this as an insult and makes Punk earn his title shot, he has to beat Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio in a triple threat match later tonight. Okay, flagrant abuse of power and all, but that match will be awesome.
Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly is our first Power to the People match, Kelly was picked over Eve Torres and Beth Phoenix, and the Diva's Championship is on the line. And hey, what do you know, the match isn't bad and KELLY WINS! Kelly probably should've picked up the title when she was doing the "fired" storyline with Edge and Vickie a few months back, but she's worked really hard to improve and oddly has never held it before, so I support this. Although surely the Bellas will get it back soon enough, they're the best thing going in the Divas division now that Kharma is on the shelf.
Evan Bourne is in action next against:
A. Jack Swagger
B. Mason Ryan
C. Sin Cara
This is why WWE "Power to the People," "Viewer's Choice" or "Cyber Sunday" shows bug me. They're so nervous about actually opening the show up a bit, that they give us "Guy who has fought Evan 1000 times in the last two days," "guy no one has heard of" and "Fan favorite."
So of course, it's Evan Bourne vs. Sin--Wait, what? Mason Ryan won the vote?! Well, I've always suspected wrestling fans were masochists. Evan Bourne tries to make lemonade, but the match is bowling shoe ugly and Mason Ryan picks up the win, for some odd reason.
And just to continue the Punishment of the People, Mark Henry vs. Kane in a Body Slam Match, Arm Wrestling Match, or Over the Top Rope Match is next.
Mark Henry cuts a promo before his match and then we go to another commercial. Because that's what Kane vs. Mark Henry needed, to be stretched out over multiple segments. We're back and these two are going to have an ARM WRESTLING MATCH! YEAH! The fact that Kane is wrestling for custody of his kid makes it much more interesting! Mark Henry pulls a Roddy Piper and just decides to kick Kane's ass instead. One World's Strongest Slam through the announce table and I'm suddenly a Mark Henry fan again!
The crowd chanted "THIS IS STUPID!" during that segment. Hey, you voted for it.
Okay guys, that first hour was just practice. Raw is for realzies now with the arrival of R-Truth, who should've won by disqualification last night after interference from Lil Jimmy. Truth is talking conspiracies and the ultimate conspiracy victim, Christian has arrived. "Power to the People?" The same people that made Christian wrestle Randy Orton when he wasn't 100%! R-Truth claims he has it worse though, he's only received one title shot and he got got by Lil Jimmy! They don't have Lil Jimmies in Canada, they have Lil Jimmehs.
But if you want to talk about people getting screwed over by corrupt officials, biased GMs and those damn people, you have to be talking about The Miz. Yeah, that's right, The Miz, R-Truth, and Christian are in the ring at the same time, hey look, it's the three guys carrying the entire company. The Triumvirate of Awesome argues over whose back hurts the worst until Teddy Long announces a six-man tag main event for tonight: Truth, Miz & Christian vs. Alex Riley, John Cena & Randy Orton! I do love me a good six-man tag, but the good guys better get got!
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler in a rematch for the United States Championship is next and the fans have voted for a 2 out of 3 falls match, which is their first good pick all night. Granted, it's Raw, so I'm sure things will be a bit rushed, but I love 2 out of 3 falls even more than a good six-man tag.
Of course, the first fall happens during commercial. C'mon WWE! Ziggler hit the Zig-Zag outside the ring during the break and rolled Kofi back in for the pin, and at least we got to see it on replay. Zig-Zag outside was pretty nasty too. Kofi's getting his ass kicked, but an SOS out of nowhere ties things up!
Fun back and forth action between these two, just like their match last night, Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise outside the ring, but Ziggler just barely gets his fingers on the bottom rope to break up the pin. If that were Mike Chioda officiating, Kofi would be champion. Ziggler tries to run and blasts Kofi with a microphone on the outside, causing a disqualification, but allowing himself to keep the title. I don't think I've ever seen a 2 out of 3 falls match end like that and it's really kinda dumb. What if Ziggler would've got disqualified for the first fall, would that have ended the match entirely?
Hey, Shawn Michaels is going to be on Raw next week! They're trying their damnedest with this summer Raws, aren't they?
Alberto Del Rio is here, sadly without "I BROKE BIG SHOW'S LEG" stitched on his scarf. "You already knew that," "DESTINY!" yadda, yadda, let's get on with the Triple Threat match!
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk to determine a new #1 contender is next and it is a Falls Count Anywhere match! I want to know who the idiots were that voted for "No Disqualification," all Triple Threat matches are No DQ!
And CM Punk proves that in spades with a SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING! Good God, almighty! Maybe they were just getting all the garbage out of the way in the first hour to get us REALLY excited for awesomeness like this match? We already had three of the best guys in WWE in the ring at once earlier with Miz, Christian and Truth and now we have the other three kicking seven shades of ass. Beautiful Suplex/Powerbomb combo with Punk Superplexing Mysterio off the top rope while Del Rio powerbombs Punk, and now Del Rio hits a NASTY German Suplex on Rey Rey. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
As exciting as Cena vs. Rey Rey would be, Punk breaks up Rey's pin attempt on Del Rio after the big splash and steals the win! We've got a new #1 contender and he can do all the snow angels he wants! Punk has the mic and lays down some of that honesty he was talking about, July 17th, the day of the MITB PPV is the last day of his contract and he promises to leave the WWE with the WWE Championship! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Okay, I know Punk leaving has been rumored for awhile now and as sad as it is, I totally support the guy taking some time off. And someone running off with the WWE Championship could be a brilliant story; I'm sure they won't go through with it, but if done right, it could be awesome.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes in a no-count out match, because... I have no idea why. Bryan wins and Ted DiBiase runs in after, oh man I can't even bring myself to care. Good for Bryan, but the crowd is in a coma and Ted DiBiase is a walking warm glass of milk. There's no excuse for WWE making Bryan or Rhodes boring though, that's a real shame.
Vickie Guerrero vs. Michael Cole next in a dance-off. And Matt Striker is here just to complete this little circle of wrestling hell. I like silly distraction segments occasionally, especially when they involve the Boogeyman, but was anyone actually entertained by this? Aside from people who stop to look at car wrecks?
Main Event time! R-Truth, Christian & The Miz vs. John Cena, Randy Orton & Alex Riley! When everything got started for this at 10:30, I thought it was way too early for the main event, but with 11 minutes of entrances and the fans voting for an Elimination Match, this one should make it to 11:05 just fine.
Like I said earlier, I love six-man tag matches and I love anything that's elimination style, so this might wind up being my favorite Raw main event of the year. Alex Riley gets a taste of his own medicine when the ref gets distracted, allowing Miz to give the assist to Christian, Riley's out!
After a loooooooooooooon in-between period, Cena eliminates Miz with the AA and we're tied at two a piece. Sorry for the lack of detail about the match, I'm just sitting back and enjoying and it's hard to write about these matches without falling into play-by-play territory.
Random question though, is this Christian's first time in the ring with John Cena since his return?
And now it's time for the rapid-fire game!
RKO to Truth, Truth is out.
Christian SPEARS Orton! Orton is out! WOOHOO!
Oh, but even though he's eliminated, Orton blatantly interferes in the match and RKOs Christian.
STF locked in, Christian taps, Cena and Orton pose, I yawn.
Well, the first hour sucked, but things picked up considerably, we got some good wrestling and despite the stupid dance competition and the pointless Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes stuff, the show became quite enjoyable. Unfortunately, the show ended with John Cena and Randy Orton celebrating with their titles. I hate to keep beating this dead horse, but during a three-hour Viewer's Choice Raw last year, we got Nexus. And while CM Punk's threat to leave WWE with the WWE Title could become a big storyline, this show ended with the same old song and dance.
I'm not saying they had to come up with some earth-shattering summer storyline tonight and I totally understand why the good guys win these big multi-man matches, but I just feel like nothing is happening. We've had two three hour shows in a row, a PPV last night and a lot of good wrestling going on, but I feel like the only thing I'm going to remember this time next week is CM Punk's announcement. Why? Because it's something new, something is happening, I'm genuinely intrigued. Can we get something like that throughout the entire show? Please?