Monday, May 16, 2011

WWE Raw thoughts - May 16, 2011

Live blog time. Still got the wrestling blahs, but refresh your page for ongoing coverage tonight and check out the Twitter feed for ongoing absurdity. Even if Raw continues to run in place, let's at least make Monday night fun!

And we're kicking things off with WWE Champion, John Cena! And more importantly, an Alex Riley interruption! The arrival of Riley can only mean one thing, The Miz's arrival is imminent! After an awesome video package showcasing the viciousness that will allow him to regain the WWE Championship, THE MIZ. IS. HERE! A-Ri is killing it on the mic here, Miz doesn't even have to talk, Riley's got the crowd in the palm of his hand for him! Cena responds by saying he picked an I Quit Match for Over the Limit because Miz can't win. Way to stack the deck John, if you were a true competitor, you'd pick The Miz's specialty match and prove you could win it!

The G?M chimes in and announces that it's only fair that Miz should get to stack the deck a bit himself, so he'll be picking Cena's opponent and stipulation for a match tonight! Put him in a cage with Kharma, Miz!

CM Punk vs. Kofi Kingston is our opening contest this evening. Former tag team champions going at it here and obviously could be a hell of a match. Crowd is pretty split on this one, which goes well with the back and forth nature of the match. Kofi gets himself hung up on the ropes though and eats a GTS to give CM Punk a much needed victory. After the match, Punk vows to get Nexus back on track and make them the most dominant group in WWE history. Punk is a miracle worker and all, but even Jesus had his limits!

Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella is our Diva portion of the evening. This is a non-title match, in case you forgot Brie Bella was the Divas Champion. Kelly Kelly picks up an anticlimactic victory, but you know why you're reading this portion of the live blog, KHARMA! Kharma interrupts the Bellas post-match beat down (much to the crowd's delight), but has her sights set on Kelly. The Bellas stupidly try to attack Kharma from behind and you know how that ends. One of the Bellas (I'm not sure which) ran off and the other got an Implant Buster. Kharma corners the recovered Kelly Kelly... and flicks her on the forehead. Brilliant. Kharma is the best thing going in WWE right now, period.

Rey Mysterio is in the ring to address the R-Truth situation. Rey Rey calls him out but Truth is SUCH a heel, he's going to make him wait through an entire commercial break.

Back from commercial, R-Truth still isn't here, but Alberto Del Rio is! Del Rio continues the creepy racial vibe from last week, essentially calling the San Antonio crowd a bunch of half-breeds. Yep, I'm uncomfortable. Mysterio stands up for "mi raza," don't let Fox News hear you say that, Rey! And it looks like we've got an impromptu match here.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio is our 10pm main event and... another commercial break. Oh come on! Okay, back from break and we've got ourselves a wrasslin' match. People seem annoyed that these two are wrestling yet again, but it's not like they're asking you to spend money on it. Perfectly acceptable TV match and they're not giving away anything we haven't seen before, so no arguments from me.

R-Truth does make an appearance, yelling at Rey from WAY up in a press box, calling him a thief for stealing his title shot. Not enough to put Rey away though, he manages to get the upper hand on Del Rio and wins by DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez blocks the 619. Del Rio doesn't care though and beats Rey down after the match anyway. And wow, Truth got downstairs pretty quick, because he's here to pick Mysterio's bones. Of all the feuds heading into Sunday, Truth vs. Mysterio is the one I'm most excited about, I'm eager to see what these two can do in the ring together.

Jerry Lawler & Michael Cole have their contract signing and we really are taking this feud all the way back to 1995, the match is officially a Kiss My Foot Match. I hope this means the return of Isaac Yankem DDS. Cole (figuratively) sticks his foot in his mouth and pisses off Jack Swagger by saying no one remembers him as World Champion. Oops. Swagger walks off, Cole tries to make amends with King, saying the last year and a half has been a joke, but he gets slammed on the table and hopefully it all comes to an end this Sunday.

Kane & Big Show will defend the Tag Titles Sunday against CM Punk and Mason Ryan on Sunday, but first they have to contend with the fearsome duo of David Otunga & Michael McGillicutty! Tremble in fear, champs! This match is pretty much what you'd expect it to be, except for the fact that Nexus actually won?! Give the assist to Punk at ringside, but I did not expect that result at all.

Main Event time! The Miz announces tonight's match will be No Holds Barred with John Cena taking on Jack Swagger, who blindsides the champ during his entrance. Really? I thought Swagger was on the cusp of turning face? Still could and this match would increase exposure for him, but just seems odd. Swagger and Cena had an absolutely fantastic match on Raw about two years ago though, I'd love to see them do it again here tonight.

Not quite up to par with their match back then, but a hell of a contest nonetheless. Swagger looked like a BEAST for the first time in quite a while and it took running into a steel chair head first to take him out of the match. Cena obviously picked up the win, but I think Swagger was the real star of the night.

Okay, until The Miz started talking again. Miz proceeded to tell Cena all the violent ways he could beat him on Sunday, but Miz is smarter than that and he's smarter than John Cena. We all know you can't beat Cena into submission, we saw Orton tee off on him with a Singapore cane a few years back and the dude just kept fighting. Cena's Wolverine, he got neck surgery on a Tuesday morning and had brunch with the Smackdown crew a few hours later. But The Miz is a diabolical evil genius, there are other ways to make a guy quit, if you can't break his body, you can break his spirit. Oh yeah, Miz is totally winning Sunday, and however he does it, it's going to be awesome.

Raw wasn't bad tonight, but it wasn't particularly great either. The show was technically good, but nothing really stuck out and I'm not particularly stoked for for Over the Limit either. Truth vs. Mysterio should be fun and I definitely want to see what Miz is up to, but everything else? Meh. C'mon WWE, it's almost Summer, do something crazy like you did last year with Nexus, get people talking!

The Very Best of WCW Monday NitroWWE: WrestleMania 27 (Collector's Edition)WWE All Stars


  1. Raw could do worse than a Cena/Swagger title fued...

  2. Not gonna argue that. I think the two have great chemistry and would work well together. Cena needs something to do if he wins on Sunday, I doubt they'd pull the trigger on a Cena/Del Rio feud this quickly.

    Though I really want to see Cena vs. Truth.