Monday, November 22, 2010

WWE Raw thoughts - November 22, 2010

John Cena's fired... TELL ME A LIE!

"Emotional, gut-wrenching and devastating," are the first words out of Michael Cole's mouth to describe John Cena's firing... or his own commentary, I'm not sure which. But yes, John Cena is gone from WWE (for at least seven minutes), but Nexus is still here and they're kicking things off for Monday Night Raw! Crowd is all over Barrett though, so maybe the anticlimactic ending to last night's PPV will work for him... but imagine the sheer hatred that would be echoing through this arena if he had the WWE Title around his waist. Barrett claims Cena was biased from the get-go and demands another opportunity at the WWE Championship, which The G?M grants, and that match will happen... TONIGHT!

And because he's in such a good mood, Barrett will allow John Cena to give his farewell address tonight. If they're really going through with this fired nonsense, you might as well go big and give him a Ric Flair or Shawn Michaels-esque send-off. Color me interested in tonight's show.

Really, "Faster" is the best name they could come with for Rock's new movie?

King of the Ring returns next Monday night in another three-hour Raw! I'm pulling for King Del Rio or King Big Zeke!

And Michael Cole has dropped a bombshell on us, Monday Night Raw now has a three-man announce team: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole... and CM PUNK! Punk's been sidelined with injury, but much like Mr. Perfect, he's just too damn good to not have on television. I wholeheartedly approve of this decision, now let's just lose Michael Cole, move Lawler to Smackdown and bring back JR!

Sheamus vs. R-Truth is the first qualifying match for next week's KOTR tournament, and it looks like they realized "Get Buck (Get Crunk)" wasn't doing it for Truth and have returned to "What's Up." Decent length match and the crowd was into it, even giving it a dueling "Let's go Sheamus/Let's Go R-Truth" chant, but even with his old music, R-Truth couldn't hang with The Celtic Warrior. Impressive win for Sheamus, and no matter who else qualifies, I think it's safe to say that Sheamus could be the favorite to win King of the Ring.

Natalya getting LayCool thrown out of the building is pretty damn funny.

And apparently,Tamina can play the ukulele... just don't let Jerry Lawler near it. If you get that reference, you're my new favorite wrestling fan.

Randy Orton guarantees Wade Barrett won't win, blah, blah, blah.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. The Miz was scheduled to be our next KOTR qualifying match, but according to Alex Riley, The Miz suffered an anxiety attack, so Riley will sub in for him yet again. Two things: One, I would also have an anxiety attack if I had to fight Big Zeke, and two, I love that A-Ri's entire purpose is to be the guy that gets his ass kicked for The Miz. Soon-to-be-King Zeke makes easy work of Alex Riley, who really isn't having a good week, and I can't wait to see if he locks horns with Sheamus next week.

John Cena is here for his farewell address, and after this, you officially can't see him. John doesn't seem to down about getting fired, and hey, he's certainly not alone in this economy. Cena's really giving this fired thing all he's got though, bringing up the fact that he missed his niece's birth and that his mom's birthday is in two days. Maybe a little hokey, but it was a sweet little moment. Gets even better when he asks the women in children to chant "LET'S GO CENA" and the men over 18 to scream "CENA SUCKS!" Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant, it might be the best promo Cena's ever done. I'll take back anything bad I said about the fired stipulation if they even try to stick to it a little bit because that was perfect. The Raw locker room waiting for him and applauding backstage was a nice touch too, as was Orton's handshake... not as good as Wade Barrett's "you can't see me" gesture though.

Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan is a rematch from last night and our third KOTR qualifying match of the night. In an odd twist, Brie Bella escorted Daniel Bryan to the ring, perhaps continuing the ill-advised Daniel Bryan: Ladies Man shtick, but if it leads to the US Champion saying "AND TWIIIINS!" then I'm all for it. Bryan picks up an easy win, even easier than Zeke's match with Riley, forcing DiBiase to tap to the LeBell Lock. Even more impressive, he completely no sold the Bellas fighting over him, and apparently he can resist the spell that so many guest hosts have fallen to. Bellas, I'm just going to give you some advice, you might want to stay away from Daniel Bryan, I hear he's into choking.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox is next, and Natalya's got some cool offense in this match, including kipping up while standing on her head and doing squats while holding Alicia Fox in a vertical suplex. Alicia Fox ripped part of Natalya's hair out, and much like when Cody Rhodes gets hit in the face, this sent the new Diva's Champion into a furious rage. One Sharpshooter later, and we no longer have to watch an Alicia Fox match. Thanks Natalya!

John Morrison & Melina are flirting backstage... I assume they're still a real-life couple?

John Morrison vs. Tyson Kidd is our next qualifying match, and yeah, this could be friggin amazing if they give it enough time, but considering we have a WWE Title match on the way, I'm not so sure. Surprisingly, these guys got a decent amount of time for Raw, unique offense from both guys, and Punk making fun of Cole's terrible commentary was an added bonus. Morrison obviously picked up the win and is the fourth and final representative from Raw in next week's King of the Ring tournament. Good TV match.

Main Event is next, looks like it's going to get a hefty amount of TV time. Oh and I believe my shenanigans sense is tingling!

Main Event time! Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett with the WWE Title on the line, and Nexus isn't waiting for this match to start, they kick Orton's ass in the aisle! Yeah! Looks like Orton hurt his knee, so Husky Harris runs back down the aisle and kicks him where his kneecap used to be, and becoming my new favorite member of Nexus.

After commercial, the match is still on, I was thinking they'd cancel it and let Miz swoop in, but I'm all for Barrett getting his shot with an unbiased referee like Mike Chioda! Their match is already way more exciting than last night's, and YES, Wasteland, NEW CHAMPION coming... until friggin John Cena interferes! John, if you're going to save Randy Orton title reigns, I don't know if we can be friends anymore. Of course, one RKO later, Randy Orton retains, though he probably should've been disqualified.

But it doesn't matter because THE MIZ is cashing in! YES! YES! YES! I had to step away during the match to give it my full attention, and it wound up being the longest Money in the Bank cash-in since Rob Van Dam's, these two actually had a match. A good match at that as well and the drama was literally (figuratively) dripping out of my television. Randy went for the RKO, Miz reversed into the Skullcrushing Finale, we've got a NEW WWE Champion and he is AWESOME!

Also, how great was that pissed off little girl in the front row? We're gonna need an old priest and a young priest!

How much praise can I give to one show? Oh sure, I could complain that they could've done this on the PPV last night, or that The Miz probably could've waited awhile longer to cash-in, or that I would've liked to see him cash-in at WrestleMania in a proper match, but who gives a damn? THE MIZ IS WWE CHAMPION! The Miz, the reality show star, the guy that they wouldn't put in the ring and instead made him the "host" of Smackdown, the guy that was supposedly John Morrison's sidekick, the guy even I thought wouldn't recover after being "fired" last year, that guy is WWE Champion.

And you can't deny that he deserves every bit of it. The Miz might be the most improved Superstar that I've seen in my lifetime, and he's only going to keep getting better after working PPV main events. This Raw was good enough as it was with all the qualifying matches, the drama of Cena and Nexus, and the fact that Randy Orton lost the WWE Title, but The Miz walking out with the WWE Championship? Kudos WWE, way to make up for last night's flat ending.



  1. So now Tamina is Tiny Tamina?

  2. Well...I think I now know the next wrestling episode that I'll watch. This one sounds rather interesting.

    OMG, I didn't write a novel. I'm so proud of myself.

  3. Yeah, this is definitely a can't miss Raw.

    And feel free to write as much as you want!

  4. any raw review that references jerry lawler smashing tiny tim's ukulele is great in my book

  5. Man Mountain Rock & I love obscure references.

  6. The Miz has came a long way from the Dixie Dogfight :)


  8. Another great show, with great wrestling and this marks the 1st show in 2010 that ive listened to the commentry and there is 1 simple reason for that C.M Punk, he counter balancea Cole's crap and I don't mind Cole doing his Shtick is there is someone there to bust his chops which the King just didn't do.

    I'm glad they pulled 'The Miz'Trigger but i think he could have waited a bit, did you hear the reaction (i did for a change) that Barret was getting before Cena jumpped in, I think it was his time, however, not going to argue to much with someone with The Miz'w potentialthe title to take that next step.....Miz Vs Morrison WM28 mainevent im calling it now

  9. Haha, glad you don't mind my wordy posts Razor. I'm always worried I come off as being rather annoying.
    Ok, I just finished watching this week's Raw. I don't watch much TV, and I have issues finding time to watch two hours in a row on a Monday, but it was worth it. I think it was even better than the first one I watched!

    After watching Cena say good bye, I think I like him even more than before. Which makes me kinda sad if he really is leaving. Although...Cena did say on twitter "Mr barrett that if he keeps taking short cuts it will come back to haunt him. Just got tix for raw in philly I can only hope he makes more short cuts. ;)" Which makes me think that yeah he's not leaving. I guess they might be going with he's not hired anymore, but he's not banned so he can totally show up if he pays for his own ticket?

    But the whole situation just makes me feel confused, because it was a great goodbye. But if he isn't wasn't really goodbye, and that sorta makes the goodbye less great and I feel kinda cheated. On the other hand, I really wouldn't mind seeing Cena and Barret interact. So confused! I don't know what I want!

    I am totally gonna watch next week too. I'm starting to understand why people watch wrestling.