Monday, November 1, 2010

WWE Raw thoughts - November 1, 2010

I know you're Raw, but what am I?!

Randy Orton kicks things off in a Nickelback-less start to Monday Night Raw, so that's an improvement. Yes, that's how bad Nickelback is, that I consider Randy Orton to be an improvement. Randy's real mad about the Survivor Series situation and demands that John Cena come out and face him... well, face to face! A pretty interesting interaction between these two, but I'm sorry, I can't take Randy Orton seriously when he talks about how John Cena will be a fraud and disrespecting everyone that's ever held the WWE Title if he screws him out of the WWE Title. Puh-lease, this is the same guy who no less than a year ago, was retaining the WWE Title through never-ending interference from Legacy or some other stupid loophole. Randy Orton talking about respecting the WWE Championship is like Freddy Krueger talking about the sanctity of life. [/belated Halloween reference]

Doesn't take long for Nexus to make their way to ringside to break up this little discussion and remind us that Wade Barrett, a guy no one had heard of a year ago, is the most interesting man in WWE right now. The WWE Champion is an afterthought in this whole storyline, merely a means to an end, because the real story is Wade Barrett and how he has done what so many others have failed to do in the last five years, make John Cena vulnerable. The G?M sets up Wade Barrett and a partner of his choosing to take on Randy Orton and a partner of his choosing later tonight and the special referee in that match will be, who else, John Cena. Good opening.

Heath Slater & Justin Gabriel vs. The Hart Dynasty is our opening contest, and I'm very interested to see how WWE will manage to break up another tag team in this match. Maybe after the Harts split up, they can split Slater & Gabriel too? That might seem illogical, but at this point, would it really shock you? Another miscommunication between the Harts give Nexus the win, but at least there was some fun action in this one. I'd like to see Kidd & Gabriel get some time on Superstars in the future.

Cannot wait to see Pee-Wee Herman tonight.

And speaking of Pee-Wee's Playhouse, here comes Randy!

Oh, my bad, that's Sheamus, fella! Sheamus is a little upset about his loss to Santino last week and challenges him to a rematch. Unfortunately, Santino ate too much candy last night, but has found a suitable replacement, Vladimir Kozlov!

Sheamus vs. Vladimir Kozlov, and this match has to be tough for the Moscow Mauler, looking at what could've been. Easy match for Sheamus, didn't even break a sweat, and just as he's trying to get his revenge on Santino, John Morrison makes the save yet again. I'm all for more Morrison vs. Sheamus, I'm also all for less Santino.

Backstage, Mark Henry & Pee-Wee played Twister with the Divas... and we got a LITA CAMEO?! Maybe she was waiting for Matt Hardy to leave?

Zack Ryder vs. Ezekiel Jackson and it was nice knowing you, bro. Today's secret word is "Zeke," whenever you have to get in the ring with him, SCREAM REAL LOUD! Big Zeke was absolutely dominant here, and let's just give him the WWE Title before he destroys the entire roster.

And Pee-wee's here! No joke, Pee-wee's Playhouse is the absolute greatest children's show, ever. And just to make things better, we're adding The Miz to this, and it turns out Alex Riley is actually a huge Pee-wee fan, and laughing at The Miz every time he says the secret word, "ring." AAAAAHHHHHH!!! I know some folks aren't going to get it, and judging by the reaction on Twitter, some folks can't get over shit that happened twenty years ago, but this might be one of my favorite comedy segments in the history of wrestling. And Pee-wee's cousin, The Big Show is here to make it even better. Big Show vs. The Miz is next, and that might put an end to the idea that Michael Cole is The G?M.

PS - Big Show doing Pee-wee's "Tequila" dance, in full Pee-wee costume, is the greatest everything.

Big Show vs. The Miz is a fun little match so far, but where did Pee-wee go?! Say whatever you want about the previous segment, but this is what wrestling's all about folks, having fun. Hilarious segment set up this match and it delivered big on the entertainment factor, at least for this particular blogger. Miz got himself DQed after hitting show with the MITB briefcase, but I was hoping the World's Largest Athlete would chokeslam him all the way to the basement of the Alamo.

Ted DiBiase vs. Daniel Bryan is next and if anyone's going to make a DiBiase match interesting, it's Daniel Bryan. So much hypocrisy on commentary here, we have Michael Cole calling Bryan boring (during a DiBiase match, really?!) and Jerry Lawler accusing Goldust of being a cradle robber. Yeah, THAT Jerry Lawler. Anyhoo, the "boring" Daniel Bryan manages to get a really fun TV match out of DiBiase and picks up a fairly easy win with the LeBell Lock. Wabbit sufficiently killed.

Natalya vs. Michelle McCool next and if Natalya wins, she gets one last shot at the Diva's Title at Survivor Series. And hey, you won't believe this, but these two women actually had a wrestling match on WWE television. I know, it's the internet and when you read something so outlandish, it's hard to accept as true, but go look for yourself. At 10:41 pm on Monday November 1, 2010, two women wrestled on Raw.

Backstage, Dr. Freddie Prinze Jr. looked after a comatose Vince McMahon. The same Vince McMahon that's been all over these Stand-Up For WWE videos, but he's still in a vegetative state from the Nexus attack? Only in wrestling, my friends.

And it turns out, the only thing that could wake Vince from his coma is hearing that Linda McMahon spent $50 million on her senate campaign. Okay, that was funny, but I'm not pleased to see free advertising for Linda McMahon just 24 hours before the election. After just getting slapped with an injunction from the Department of Justice after their ill-advised attempt to bribe fans in Connecticut to vote with free t-shirts, they decide to just flat-out campaign for Linda? It's like Vince wants to go to battle with the federal government again. But hey, at least we got a Stephanie cameo! Also, considering the fact that the overwhelming majority of WWE fans are Democrats, they better hope tomorrow is the end of WWE's involvement in partisan politics.

Anyway Main Event time! R-Truth & Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett & David Otunga w/ John Cena as the special guest referee. After all the fun and goofiness on this show, this match kinda stuck out like a sore thumb and didn't really do it for me. Much as I enjoy R-Truth in the ring, Randy Orton is not an ideal partner for him, and let's be honest, no one's going to glue their eyes to the television when David Otunga is in a main event. Truth & Orton picked up the win, since ya know, it's illegal for Randy Orton to lose right now, but at least they gave us an actual ending instead of a Nexus run-in.

What a bizarre episode of Raw. Free advertising for Linda aside, the comedy actually hit the mark tonight and the show was really fun. And let's be honest, it's not like Linda's going to win anyway, so even that was harmless... until the Federal Election Commission gets involved, that is. But we got some laughs, some entertaining matches, and Pee-wee Herman, so I think I have to give this show a thumbs up.

Pee-wee's Playhouse #1 - Seasons 1 and 2Pee-Wee's Big AdventurePee-wee's Playhouse #2 - Seasons 3-5Big Top Pee-Wee


  1. Eh, I saw the Vince skit as more of Vince McMahon supporting his wife rather than supporting the Republican party. Still doesn't make it completely legal, but as a liberal, I found it funny rather than partisan.

  2. It was funny, but I don't think it's appropriate for a billionaire to use one of his two-hour shows, that's watched by millions of people, to support his wife's senate campaign.

    It's not as bad as Fox News outright employing and actively campaigning for candidates, but it's not something WWE should involve themselves in. It's just asking for trouble... which I suppose is one of Vince's favorite pastimes, but if Linda does somehow manage to win this thing, her election will be marred by lawsuits and investigations.