Monday, September 20, 2010

WWE Raw thoughts - September 20, 2010

It's the post-Night of Champions Raw, and perhaps more importantly, the follow-up to last week's Raw, which was the best show of the last two years. We'll be live blogging here, so make sure you refresh your page for ongoing coverage of tonight's show!

And naturally, things begin with your new WWE Champion, Randy Orton! Thankfully, Sheamus is here to save us from a Randy Orton promo, and he has a very good point, he's never lost the WWE Title in a proper one-on-one match. Both times, it took five other guys to take out the Celtic Warrior, fella! Sheamus goes on to mock Orton's goofy mannerisms, officially becoming my favorite wrestler ever, but before things can get too heated, The G?M has something to say. And I quote, "Sheamus will face Randy Orton, inside Hell in a Cell," in PPV that is 13 days away. Yes, WWE expects you to pay $100+ within two weeks time, but didn't you hear, the recession ended over a year ago!!

Anyway, Sheamus wants to hold onto the Dobelyeh Dobelyeh Eee Title between now and Hell in a Cell, and if Orton wins he can have it back. Orton threatens both Sheamus' grandmother and his own (seriously, this guy is so lame), and then tosses the belt to Sheamus and hits him with an RKO. Sigh.

The Hart Dynasty is on commentary for Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre vs. Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov, although they probably shouldn't be. And neither should Michael Cole, whose heel shtick is just brutal at this point. He's not even being a heel, he's basically just shitting on people, which does no one any favors and makes the entire show look bad. New champs pick up an easy win, but I was too distracted.

John Morrison is backstage warming up for his match with... Chris Jericho?! Looks like Chris didn't get the memo about last night being his final appearance with WWE. I should know better than to even consider believing PWInsider.

Backstage, Zack Ryder is being more entertaining than Edge has been all year. Edge is whining about something and Daniel Bryan asks him to keep it down while he's trying to read. That's as good a reason as any to set up a match, it's Edge vs. Bryan, tonight!

Chris Jericho vs. John Morrison next, and after Morrison's awesome showings over the last two weeks, I have high hopes for this match. Power of the Beard allows Morrison to get momentum early with an INSANE dive over the turnbuckle, not over the rope, over the actual turnbuckle. Seriously, this is why you can never count anyone out in wrestling, because the Lizard King is quickly becoming one of the highlights of Monday Night Raw. Morrison picks up another huge win and Chris Jericho continues to look really sad when he loses, which kinda bums me out. I've been beating this drum for the last few weeks, but can we just turn Jericho face already? The crowd is chanting "Y2J!" all over the place, even when he's a massive jerk, and the losing streak just makes me feel sympathetic for the guy.

John Cena vs. Wade Barrett in the main event tonight? Smells like shenanigans!

AAAWWWWWEEEEEESSSSSOOOOOOMMMMEEEE! The Miz is out next to explain that he was injured last night and had to tap out in order to avoid needing surgery, but then insists that he did not tap out. I wish I could pull stunts like that at my work, "I didn't do my work because something came up, but I swear I did my work." Miz is on commentary for Edge vs. Daniel Bryan and Michael Cole is like a 12-year-old at a Justin Bieber concert. And Daniel Bryan finally has new entrance music... RIDE OF THE VALKYRIES! That's your ass, Edge!

While Cole and Miz try to bury Bryan on commentary (seriously, it was old during the first season of NXT), we have a damn good match on our hands. Unfortunately, Miz's newly signed personal assistant, Alex Riley, provides the distraction and Miz attacks Bryan from behind, allowing Edge to hit the Spear for the win. Took three guys to beat Daniel Bryan, but this is an Edge match, and The G?M is not a fan of the Rated-R Superstar and REVERSES the decision, Bryan wins by DQ! I think I figured it out, Gangrel is the anonymous GM and we're finally going to find out what their history is with each other!

Riley and Miz demolish Bryan after the match, and considering how awesome their encounter was last night, I'm all for them having many, many rematches.

The Self Professed Co-Unified Divas Champions, LayCool make their first appearance on Raw since unifying the belts, and Layla is defending their title against Melina. Great, now we have two Unicorn Rainbow Championships. Not much here, but Layla did bust out DIAMOND DUST as her finisher! Masato Tanaka would be proud. More Layla, less Michelle, please!

Chris Jericho is backstage to plug his DVD that comes out tomorrow, which you absolutely MUST buy. And Jericho also has The G?M's IP address and will soon expose his or her identity if they don't give into his demands. Surely the GM is using a proxy or some other thing I just looked up on Wikipedia to sound smart. Anyway, Randy Orton challenges Jericho to a match next week and if Jericho wins, he'll get a title shot whenever he wants. Well, if anyone's going to get me to care about an Orton match, it's Jericho.

R-Truth (with his new music) & Eve are out next for mixed tag action against Ted DiBiase & Maryse. Hey, DiBiase has new music too, and it's atrocious. What is with DiBiase getting progressively worse theme music? Actually, you can track my interest in DiBiase along with his theme changes:
Slow, Pink Floyd "Money" version of "Priceless" - Awesome, great debut too.
Faster version of "Priceless," - Also cool, and liked his team with Rhodes
Slowed down, heavier version of "Priceless" - Bad, and they start teaming with Orton.
"New Day" Legacy theme - Gag
Still using Legacy theme after Legacy's break up - Snore.
This atrocious excuse for a theme - Snore & Gag.

Truth & Eve pick up the win, but as Maryse and Ted are arguing, a message pops up on the TitanTron that says "I will have you," accompanied by creepy Skinemax music. Looks like they're continuing the secret admirer/stalker bit with these two, and as much as I like the TitanTron tease for a mystery storyline... really? I just can't bring myself to care about either Ted or Maryse.

Main Event Time! John Cena vs. Wade Barrett, first time ever! Like I said earlier, my Shenanigans Sense is tingling, and it really didn't take long, Wade Barrett took John Cena up on his words from earlier, when he said he wanted to take Nexus out one by one, and offered a 5-on-1 Gauntlet Match, which Cena naturally, agreed to.

Heath Slater vs. John Cena up first, and the sooner Cena disposes of this doofus, the better. One Attitude Adjustment later, and I get my wish.

David Otunga vs. John Cena in round two, and it's probably not a coincidence that WWE picked this moment for Raw's final commercial break. Back from break, Cena gets a win with a surprise roll-up.

Michael Tarver vs. John Cena next, and Tarver quickly taps out. Sigh.

Justin Gabriel vs. John Cena is Cena's final obstacle before Wade Barrett, but I'm actually more interested in this one after their great match from a few weeks back. Both men take each other to the limit here, but Nexus interferes before either man can put the other away. Referee calls for the bell, which should bring in Wade Barrett for the final part of the Gauntlet, but c'mon, you know it's not going to be that easy. Cena wants the match, but Barrett has him right where he wants him, Cena will do anything to fight Barrett, and the match will happen at Hell in a Cell, but if Wade Barrett wins, John Cena joins Nexus! But hey, if we're going to make it big, we're going to make it big, if John Cena wins, Nexus must leave WWE! Very interesting.

Good Raw, not as good as last week's but still a very enjoyable show. There are still some rough spots like a complete lack of a midcard, Edge's downfall, a less than impressive women's division and Ted DiBiase's pledge to end charisma as we know it, but the good is outweighing the bad. The Miz vs. Daniel Bryan somehow got even more entertaining, John Morrison is really starting to look like the next big thing, Chris Jericho is apparently sticking around, and I'm intrigued to see where they're going to go with Barrett vs. Cena. The show's still not perfect, but keep giving me shows like this instead of shows like the 900th episode of Ra and I'll be a happy wrestling fan.

Breaking the Code: Behind the Walls of Chris JerichoWWE: John Morrison- Rock StarWWE: Best Pay-Per-View Matches of the Year 2009-2010 [Blu-ray]


  1. God Razor ... you're starting to sound like the people you set out to expose - a mark! You're like an anti-Orton mark!

    I generally think Orton's boring, but that first segment of the show was actually really good and really strong!

  2. No no, I expose smarks. People who think they know everything, but are the biggest suckers of them all.

    Marks are awesome, they have fun.

  3. "I've been beating this drum for the last few weeks, but can we just turn Jericho face already? The crowd is chanting "Y2J!" all over the place, even when he's a massive jerk, and the losing streak just makes me feel sympathetic for the guy."

    I think that's the point, Razor.

  4. You're probably right. Hope that's the end result.

  5. Seriously, I don't expect Ted or Kid Perfect to have the same ring skill as their dads, but can at least their personality rub off on them. Doesn't Ted at least even know how to do that laugh like his Dad?

  6. i don't mind this version of michael cole at all, in fact i find him more entertaining. the harts getting shit on is no surprise as every heel commentator in the last 25 years has done it. lawler made a WWE career out of it. and as far as burying daniel bryan, anybody on the opposite side of miz is going to get it right now. i dont think bobby heenan ever gave respect to the texas tornado during fueds with mr perfect or anybody against the heenan family for that matter. everybody was torn down. obviously cole isn't as good at it as heenan, but the point is still there. if anything, the fault might lie in jerry lawler for not being able to build the faces up as strongly as he should after cole tears them down.

  7. A fair point, but could Michael Cole at least be amusing or funny? He just sounds like a whiny bitch.

  8. Yeah, I agree that he should try to work a little more humor into it, although I thought The Miz/ autograph stuff was hilarious. The more I think about the humor issue the more I think his pairing with Lawler might hurt him. If Cole threw out ridiculous stories or one liners during a broadcast where he was paired with more of a straight man like Jim Ross or something of the sort it could fit. Doing something like that with Lawler is just going to end with The King trumping him with a one-liner of his own, negating the whole thing. This isn't a knock on Lawler, more on the pairing if they were to go that route with Cole.

  9. I think that's the problem with the concept of a heel play-by-play guy, the color commentator isn't supposed to be the straight man, he's supposed to be the one making shit up and throwing out one-liners.

    It's why I don't really dig announcer heel turns. If an announcer has a reason to be a heel, like he's a former wrestler that worked as a heel (Ventura, Lawler), or a heel manager (Heenan), then it makes sense, they're already heels. But announcers turning heel just out of the blue one day? It's jarring.

  10. I'm watching Kozlov & Santino vs. Dashing & the Scot. Best line ever:
    "BEAT THIS HIPPY!" -Santino to Kozlov who was up against Drewwy Mac. HAHAHAHAH
    That, and Smith's impersonation of Drewwy was pretty funny.

    Dear Zack Ryder, you are the most awesome hilarious lol-able jobber-that-doesn't-wrestle-anymore ever. I love you. WWWYKI!

    Observation: John Morrison looks like Jim Caviezel. The guy that played Jesus in the Passion of Christ. Yeah, that guy.

    Dear Mizzy, no you won't. I love you, but you TAPPED OUT! :) Cole kissing your ass is only funny when he's teenieing out like I do when I see Justin Gabriel kick ass.

    And did he--Cole, I mean-- like, step up on his douchebaggery overnight? It's not just shitting on people anymore. It's shitting on people while you have e coli.

  11. I just finished the episode, and here is what I have to say on the Nexus-Cena shit:
    I don't really understand why Cena has to be the one that is "victorious" every time he is "attacked" by the Nexus boys. It's unrealistic, and getting really ridiculous. Two minutes ago he was reeling from a barrage of really good offense from Gabriel. Suddenly, he can fight off Barrett with a chair, and the rest of Nexus after they had a little rest. It doesn't make Cena look strong, it doesn't make the Nexus look weak, it makes everything look ridiculous.

    I really hope Cena joins Nexus at HIAC. It would be incredibly stupid if he didn't, one, because the Nexus storyline could be instant gold with the right efforts, and two, it would waste all the effort I put into my faux Nexus armbands :(
    That is all :)