Monday, August 23, 2010

WWE Raw thoughts - August 23, 2010

Yep, we're live blogging! Refresh your page for ongoing coverage of tonight's show. Totally forgot this week's Raw was pre-taped (again), but after doing their very first show in China, it makes sense that they'd get the night off.

Sheamus starts things off tonight, luckily he's okay after that brutal, uncalled for assault from Randy Orton last Monday. Sheamus starts the show off by insulting small children in the crowd... well I might as well just stop watching wrestling now because I don't think anything will ever top that. He's equating these spoiled rotten brats to the ultimate spoiled rotten brat, Randy Orton. Truer words were never spoken, fella. The G?M chimes and actually seems to sympathize with Sheamus, giving him a throne to observe a series of matches tonight where HE will get to determine his opponent for Night of Champions. That's pretty cool.

Next week is Raw's 900th episode. Man, I'm old.

The first match in SHEAMUS KOMBAT! is Edge vs. R-Truth, which could be a pretty fun match. Both of these guys are in a pretty weird spot in WWE, Edge is undoubtedly one of the biggest stars in the company and R-Truth was a rapidly rising star, but neither one of them seem to have any direction right now. Well, Truth's direction is down after taking a NASTY! spill to the outside, missing a plancha and landing directly on his hip. It was pretty much all downhill from there for Truth, Edge caught him with a SPEAR and called it a day. The Rated-R Superstar called Sheamus' throne "stupid," but he's probably just jealous that he didn't get one when he won King of the Ring, he only got a stupid trophy!

"DASHING" Cody Rhodes will be on Syfy's Warehouse 13 tomorrow night, perhaps he'll help the gang find the Triforce.

Chris Jericho vs. The Great Khali are the next battle in SHEAMUS KOMBAT!!! in what has to be one of the strangest match-ups ever. But hey, screw it, this was a perfectly acceptable TV match and Chris Jericho is good enough to actually make a Khali match enjoyable. And he actually won a match with someone tapping out to the Walls of Jericho, which is also a plus.

If M. Night Shyamalan manages to screw up a premise as good as Devil, he shouldn't be allowed in Hollywood ever again. He doesn't get to make movies, watch movies, or think about movies. And no other forms of media either. No video games, no books, and no country music album either.

Melina vs. Jillian for the Diva's Championship up next, which could be an enjoyable women's match by WWE's absurdly low standards these days. Michael Cole comments on Melina's screaming, apparently he's never watched her wrestle before, continuing his downward spiral, but while I'm complaining about him, Melina picks up the win with the Last Call. Short, but solid match. LayCool interrupts Melina's celebration on the TitanTron and announces they'll be at Raw next week with an offer Melina can't refuse... I assume they have their sights set on the Diva's Title?

The Miz is backstage and he felt humiliated by John Cena kicking him out of the group at SummerSlam and even claims Cena's actions cost him the WWE Championship since he was too focused on Team WWE to cash-in his MITB contract on Sheamus. These two battle in the main event tonight!

The Nexus has arrived and The G?M has lifted the ban on them competing for titles has been lifted. Just give them all the titles. Give Wade Barrett the WWE Title, give Otunga & Sheffield the tag belts (yes I'm aware Sheffield is hurt), give Michael Tarver the US Championship (first the US, then the world!) and give Justin Gabriel the Diva's Title. Actually, my buddy MC over at Culture Kills had the great idea of bringing Awesome Kong in as the female member of Nexus. I'd dig it.

Sheamus has been sitting out here all night, what happens if he has to pee?

Apparently The Miz vs. John Cena is not the main event, because it's happening right now! I'm all for these two mixing it up in the ring, they barely scratched the surface last year and Miz has only gotten better with each passing week. Absolutely fantastic match between these two that comes to a screeching halt when Daniel Bryan attacks The Miz from behind and forces him to tap out to the LeBell Lock! It's a double win for me, because Daniel Bryan looks good and it means The Miz won by DQ! Miz - 2, Cena - 0! Seriously though, cannot wait for Bryan to put that US Title around his waist. Also, the First Lady of Kick-Out!! noted that it took five "umpires" to get Bryan off The Miz. She might prefer baseball to wrestling, like a weirdo.

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov vs. The Usos up next, presumably to play up on Santino's flirting with Tamina. Sorry kids, Glamarella > Santamina. And anything > this match.

Ted DiBiase vs. John Morrison vs. Randy Orton in an inexplicable triple threat match is up next and I presume is our "main event" of the evening? I get Morrison vs. Ted, but making it a triple threat with Orton? Probably because no one cares about Morrison or DiBiase, so they need to spice it up with Orton, but it just strikes me as something TNA would do, "meh, just put three guys in a match and call it a day. Who cares? We've been here all night taping shows, I just wanna go home!" Guess what? Randy Orton wins with an RKO... bet you didn't see that coming.

Sheamus has been tinkin' aboat et for awhile and as the Celtic Warrior, he's not going to wait for Night of Champions to defend his title! He's going to defend his title against someone that's never had an opportunity before, ZACK RYDER! BEST. MATCH. EVER. YOU. KNOW. IT. And one Brogue Kick later (literally the only move in the match), this one's over. Good showing, Zack! You came so close, bro! Now that he's defended his title, he claims he doesn't have to defend it again for another "t'irty days." When's the last time WWE referenced a 30-day rule?

But now that the Nexus ban has been lifted, Wade Barrett does have a title shot in the bank from winning NXT and is cashing it in at Night of Champions! But The G?M is adding to the match and is making it a Six-Pack Challenge featuring all the winners of tonight's matches: Chris Jericho, Edge, John Cena and Randy Orton! That's a pretty big match, but can it really be a Six-Pack Challenge without Stone Cold as the guest referee? Show ends with Sheamus feeding Wade Barrett to the wolves and the leader of Nexus finally gets a taste of his own medicine! But then Sheamus gets a Codebreaker, Jericho gets a Spear, Edge gets an Attitude Adjustment and Cena gets an RKO. Randy Orton (again) stands tall... and people complain about Cena being Superman?

Simple, but effective Raw. While these taped shows rarely pack the punch of a live Raw, they're generally loaded with straight-up wrestling matches, so I can't complain about that. Definitely looking forward to next week's 900th episode though, which should (should) be a good time.

Raw "The Beginning": The Best of Seasons 1 & 2WWE: Satan's Prison- The Anthology of the Elimination ChamberBreaking The Code: Behind The Walls of Chris Jericho


  1. Sadly my cable is messing up, so I will be forced to do what I have been promising myself for months I would do, and that is ... watch Raw on Tuesday, instead of staying up until 4:15 am, which is the time it ends here in UK, if watching it live, or in tonight's case ... taped-live!

    Razor: Where the heck have you been? I am mourning the loss of KO Radio! Where did it go? Is it in a vegetative state?

    It makes me decidedly in a **sad** mood that there hasn't been one in a while! It used to make my friday mornings happy! When will it return??


  2. Kick-Out!! Radio will likely be back on Wednesday.

  3. I hope so!!!!

  4. Me too. I'm just always at work and rarely have the downtime to do it.

  5. I think Kong might be one of those few female athletes that could be believable laying a beatdown on a male wrestler too.

  6. Tons of people care about Morrison. It would've been awesome if he had, but they only let a couple people ever beat him for some retarded reason. Also, I find that WWE has been mostly crap lately and TNA has been amazingly awesome. I do agree on your final comment about how Orton is always on top and how people complain about Cena being "the face of WWE", among other things.

  7. TNA almost had me with their surprisingly decent ECW show and the awesome Beer Money/MCMG series, but then they quickly went back to shit.

  8. Cole was especially annoying tonight. I can remember when I detested Lawler (because all he kept saying was "puppies!" overandoverandover.

    Now, Lawler's tolerable and Cole isn't. I'd rather have Mike Adamle in his place.


  9. At least Adamle could give us more Adamle Originals!