Monday, July 5, 2010

WWE Raw thoughts - July 5, 2010

Just in the nick of time, we are live blogging!

Looks like we're starting things off with The Nexus already in the ring, Wade Barrett has a mic in hand... after SummerSlam, right dirtsheets? See, I tried giving them the benefit of the doubt, but once again, the copy and paste sites prove they have no idea what they're talking about half the time. Wade Barrett's possible three month absence turned out to be three days. Math is fun. Skip Sheffield talks some trash about what they did to Ricky Steamboat, but it's not long before our Anonymous GM chimes in and lifts the ban on physical interaction between Raw Superstars and The Nexus, which is the cue for John Cena! Cena, along with six other Raw Superstars rush to the ring, but several Raw heels attack them from behind!? Looks like the Raw locker room isn't so united anymore, Sheamus, Jericho, Miz, Ted DiBiase and The Usos want The Nexus to take out Cena! G?M chimes in once again, setting up a series of matches between MITB participants and orders Cena and Wade Barrett to call a truce and shake hands later tonight... "and that's the bottom line, because the GM said so." Nice tease for Stone Cold, I hope G?M starts stealing other famous lines to throw people off his (or her) trail. Perhaps next week we can smell what the GM is cookin?

Our opening contest is the first match in the MITB series put together by the G?M, John Morrison vs. Ted DiBiase w/Maryse, who will be joining King and Cole on commentary. This match features the two guys that have literally done nothing to earn a spot in the Raw Money in the Bank ladder match; Morrison's been losing left and right and DiBiase's been comic relief in guest host segments... where he was overshadowed by Virgil! Doesn't take long for Maryse to get involved in this match, stealing Morrison's coat and showing it off on the apron. Okay, someone's gotta say it, that coat makes her look exactly like a hooker. Not the Julia Roberts kind either, the kind you see on HBO documentaries at 2am with that horrible narrator that rhymes every sentence. "Maryse is walkin' out here with Ted, for $40 you can take her to bed."

Santino Marella & Vladimir Kozlov are in action next against William Regal & The Great Khali. Ranjin Singh is in Khali's corner, despite the trash talk from last week, but presumably we're seeing the beginning of Khali turning heel, or a rift between the two. I totally support the Sultan of Sideburns going off to manage someone else, I miss old school managers. Kozlov and Santino make quick work of Regal, Khali didn't even get in the match, but attacked Regal after the match for reasons unknown. Utterly pointless.

Arn Anderson is backstage talking about the health status of Ricky Steamboat, but is quickly interrupted by Sheamus. Arn is arguably the greatest talker in the history of this industry and gives Sheamus a stern talking-to about how Sheamus is naive to think The Nexus will leave him alone. Great stuff here, Arn should be given TV time every week.

I thought The Cutting Edge was next? Instead we've got another match in the G?M's MITB series with R-Truth vs. The Miz! Miz comes out with another awesome R-Truth rap parody, and this time he didn't even forget the lyrics! Miz blasts Truth with a mic, and beats the holy hell out of him, which keeps the match from even getting started. If Miz doesn't win MITB, something is wrong with WWE.

Now it's time for The Cutting Edge! Chris Jericho is out first, and I assume there's no love loss between him and the Rated-R Superstar? But instead of talking MITB, Edge and Jericho argue about who should be an advisor to The Nexus. Jericho makes a much better point, seeing as how he was Wade Barrett's pro and all, and then tells Edge that all he's ever wanted to be is Chris Jericho. Nice little brawl between these WrestleMania rivals, but Evan Bourne rushes to ringside and schools them both!

COLE'S GOT MAIL!

G?M wants the crowd to give him a "hell yeah" if they want to see some tag team action! Cute. Jericho & Edge vs. Evan Bourne and... Randy Orton! How crazy is it that just a few months ago, Evan Bourne was struggling to even get TV time, but now he's teaming with one of the biggest names in the company to take on two of Raw's top heels, just two weeks before he competes in MITB? Loving it. Bourne's a house of fire here as well, showcasing those "educated feet," and as long as I'm stealing JR quotes, I hope no one gets a case of the limber tail!

After commercial, Edge & Jericho are firmly in control and Evan Bourne is in desperate need of a hot tag. He finally gets in and the crowd explodes for Randy Orton! Middle rope DDT on Jericho, shoulder-separating mat slams, but a distraction from Edge keeps Orton from nailing the RKO and the former Unified Tag Champs are back in control. Bourne's back in, Edge and Jericho argue, Edge SPEARS Jericho and Bourne nails the Shooting Star Press for the win! That's right, Bourne got the job done when Orton couldn't! Hot crowd, good length, exciting back and forth action combined for an excellent TV match!

And then of course Randy Orton has to ruin it by RKOing Bourne after the match. What an a-hole.

Backstage, Randy Orton runs into David Otunga, Heath Slater and Michael Tarver. I kinda want Michael Tarver to punch everyone in the face right now, just saying. The Nexus promises not to interfere in the MITB ladder match, and they try to warn Randy that if the MITB winner has a problem with them and tries to cash in after the Sheamus/Cena cage match, things might not end well.

After the assault from The Miz, R-Truth has been dropped from the RAW MITB match. That's odd, is he hurt? If he isn't, they dropped him out of the match instead of Ted DiBiase? Really?

The Hart Dynasty vs. The Uso Bros. for the Unified Tag Team Titles has been added to the MITB PPV. Quick promo from the challengers, and then Alicia Fox interrupts Josh Matthews to complain about not being interviewed since winning the Diva's Title. Well, after being reminded of her voice, I can certainly guess why.

Eve vs. Alicia Fox for the Diva's Championship is up next with Eve invoking her rematch clause from her loss at Fatal 4-Way. Alicia feigns an injury, as opposed to narrowly avoiding injury like she usually does, and uses it to pick up a cheap and easy win. Yawn.

Main Event time! Well... sorta. By the orders of G?M, Wade Barret & John Cena have been ordered to shake hands here tonight. As expected, things don't go exactly according to plan, because Cena refuses to shake hands. Cena tries the Adjust Barrett's Attitude, Nexus rushes the ring, Mark Henry and all Raw faces (including Yoshi Tatsu!) evens the odds, which of course leads to COLE'S GOT MAIL!

G?M wants peace, Cena refuses, and destroys Darren Young, who got left behind in the melee. Cena has to face all seven members of Nexus next week in a handicap match, which is ridiculously lame and an anticlimactic end to Raw. Cena throwing the stairs at Darren Young was pretty awesome though.

Good Raw, but the ending kinda took some of the wind out of its sails. Cena in a 7-on-1 handicap match isn't a shocking finale, it's a handicap match, who cares? Besides, didn't we see Cena and Orton take on the "entire" Raw locker room a while back? After something like that, 7-on-1 doesn't exactly pack the same punch... not that handicap matches ever pack a punch to begin with. Give me something that will really get people talking, put Wade Barrett in R-Truth's MITB spot, "fire" someone, set up a real match, anything besides handicap nonsense. Other than that big gripe, and the useless filler with the Divas and Santino's Super Friends, I dug the show, but the end really hurt it.

6 comments:

  1. That's the bottom line coz the GM said so"?

    Hmmmm...

    i do believe this is a swerve.

    It won't be Stone Cold! lol!

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  2. Total swerve, just the G?M trying to throw people off the trail.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Randy 'Viper' Orton is not an a-hole and i would not mind him doing the RKO on my favourite superstars coz it's juz truly the most beautiful move of the WWE! Juz look at those camera shots!

    Anyway, I really do hope Khali turns heel... have been w8ing a long time 4 this coz he's juz not a gud 'jobber' I want the old Khali like during his bout with the Undertaker 2006 and to the WWE, plz dun job him to lose to anyone coz he won't in real life fighting

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  5. Hearing Miz rap just reminds me of:

    Team Kofi Kingston, looking for a fight
    Four of us are black and one of us is white
    WUTS UP?

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  6. John Morrison DEFINITELY deserves to be in the MITB PPV. Also, the Khali thing was not pointless.

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