Monday, July 19, 2010

WWE Raw thoughts - July 19, 2010

We are live blogging tonight's Raw, featuring the fallout from Money in the Bank! Refresh your page for ongoing coverage of tonight's show!

Starting things off with a HUGE Triple Threat match to determine a new #1 contender for the WWE Title! Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho vs. Edge... well, barring any sort of shenanigans, I'm pretty sure this one is a forgone conclusion, I don't think SummerSlam will be headlined by Chris Jericho or Edge versus Sheamus. Orton makes sense, and even though he already fought Sheamus at the Royal Rumble this year, it didn't have a definitive ending and both guys have change pretty significantly in the last seven months. I'm getting ahead of myself though, there's still a match to get through, and so far so good, Orton reversing the double baaaaaaaaaaaaack body drop into a double DDT was pretty slick.

For the life of me, I do not get it, Orton is still the same old bland Randy Orton he's always been, but the crowd is absolutely batshit for him. Loving the match though, Jericho's a house of fire, locking Orton in the Walls for what seemed like forever, the reversing Edge's Spear into a school boy roll-up into the Walls as well. Gorgeous counter. We even got a TRIPLE CLOTHESLINE!? Jericho dodges the RKO, misses with the Lionsault, takes an RKO, Edge tries to intervene but gets an RKO of his own! Orton wins an absolutely fantastic match, easily a contender for Match of the Month, and his heading to SummerSlam to take on the WWE Champion. I'm certainly no fan of the guy, but if he can give us a match like that at SummerSlam, it'll be a damn good main event. Hell, this match could've been the SummerSlam main event.

It appears Edge is refusing to leave the ring and he wants Chris Jericho back at ringside right now! Both men are tired of costing each other titles and chipping years away at the other's career, but Jericho insists that he can snap his fingers and have Nexus end Edge's career. Edge disagrees and says they'd side with him. If you're familiar with comedian Dana Gould, he has a bit where he says that everyone needs a big fat guy in a top hat who steps out of your closet whenever you're about to make a really dumb decision and screams "MISTAAAAAAAAKE!" Both Edge and Jericho needed that guy before this segment because Nexus has just made their way to ringside. Oh sure, they appear to side with Jericho at first, but when Jericho tries to pick the bones of the unconscious Edge, they attack Wade Barrett's former Pro too. MISTAAAAAAAAAKE! It's okay Jericho, at least you went down swinging, like the best in the world should!

Oh and by the way, Skip Sheffield has the best Spear in the industry today. NASTY!

I have no idea why people want John Cena to turn out to be the leader of Nexus, it would make absolutely no sense whatsoever, and would be a swerve for the sake of a swerve. Cena turning heel could happen, Nexus could be a good catalyst for it, he's become so miserable and frustrated that he becomes what he hates, but the mastermind behind the group? That would be completely idiotic. Cena teases joining Nexus later tonight, but hopefully that rules out any possibility of him being the leader.

Eve vs. Maryse up next in a Diva's match that ends quicker than this sentence. Eve gets the win even though Maryse's foot is on the rope, Ted DiBiase complains, and then John Morrison runs in and nails the Million Dollar Champ with Starship Pain. Yawn. BTW, Maryse's hair is more ridiculous than Darren Young's, just sayin.

Sheamus is here to address the WWE Universe, and how brilliant is this guy? He just doesn't give a shit who he steps over as long as his own ass is covered. Last week he was willing to team with Cena, now he's claiming he has a truce with Nexus, I love it. Sheamus plans on becoming the longest reigning WWE Champion in history (you got a loooong way to go to match Bruno, fella), but even though Nexus is out of his way (for now), he has a much bigger problem... a much AWESOMER problem, The Miz! Every breath Sheamus takes, every move he makes, Miz'll be watching him. That's right, Miz just made a Sting reference on WWE TV:

Err...

But it looks like G?M wants to weigh in here too, setting up a match for Sheamus here tonight against Evan Bourne!

Evan Bourne!

Uh... Evan?

12 minutes later Evan Bourne make his way to ringside, still taping up his wrists. Whether that was a missed cue or just an attempt to sell the spontaneity of the mystery GM, that was weird.

Evan Bourne vs. Sheamus is underway though, and The Miz is looking on at ringside. Just a few months ago, Evan Bourne was the go-to guy for Sheamus to murder on a semi-weekly basis, now Bourne is a credible threat. Pretty cool, ain't it? Well, while he's a threat, he's still not quite an equal for the WWE Champion, one Brogue Kick later, the plucky Evan Bourne falls to the Celtic Warrior. Oh well, good showing Evan!

But wait, there's more! Miz just nailed Sheamus with the briefcase and is cashing in Money in the Bank! The referee tries to get Sheamus to his feet to start the match, but R-Truth intervenes before that can happen and runs Miz off! Hey, the match never started, so Miz is still money! Hilarious tease.

Loved the SummerSlam Recall featuring Undertaker and Stone Cold from SummerSlam 1998. I'm on the hiiiiiiiiiiighway to hell!

Oh and we all knew the awesomeness of tonight's show had to stall out at some time, it's the return of the dreaded 10:35 match, this time with Santino & Vladimir Kozlov vs. Zack Ryder & William Regal. Santino and Kozlov pick up an easy win after Santino bounces the ropes Warrior style and hits the saluting headbutt. Holy shit, three years later, does Santino actually have a finisher?

Mark Henry vs. Wade Barrett is up next and I assume this will be the final match of the night before Cena "joins" Nexus? Not really much of a match until Nexus appears on stage - stretching the definition of the phrase "banned from ringside" - allowing Wade Barrett to hit Henry with his finisher... sorta. Mark Henry almost got dropped on his head and Wade Barrett's vertebrae may have went flying into the fifth row, but hey, at least it got people talking. I need a word nastier than NASTY to describe that one.

Michael Tarver, in his human form, calls John Cena to the ring to hear what he has to say and it doesn't take long for the former champ to accept the invitation. A somber Cena offers a truce, but this time, Wade Barrett refuses! He doesn't want to extend an olive branch, he wants Cena to take his orders from the Nexus! Ooh, the plot thickens. Could Cena finally be a broken man? Nope. Not really surprising, but Barrett gives him two options: run or take the most brutal beating Nexus has ever delivered. Cena... runs?

Oh c'mon, you know this ain't how it's gonna end. Turns out, Cena tried to play nice, but Nexus showed their true colors and now they have to be taken out. Cena's got himself a team to take on The Nexus at SummerSlam!

Edge!

John Morrison!

R-Truth!

The Great Khali?!

Chris Jericho!

And...

BRET "THE HITMAN" HART!


Speaking of running, Nexus has no problems hauling ass out of the arena here as Team Cena stands tall! I don't care what anyone says, Bret Hart showing up was a really cool surprise that no one saw coming, and makes a hell of a lot more sense than John Cena being revealed as the mastermind behind Nexus. Great Khali though? Seriously? Guess we need to save some guys for the SummerSlam undercard?

Absolutely fan-damn-tastic episode of Monday Night Raw. Aside from the pointless Divas match and the silly nonsense with Santino, this was pretty much a perfect Raw from start to finish. Good wrestling, highlighted by an amazing opener, a focused story that weaved its way through the entire show, and a satisfying payoff in the end with the return of Bret Hart. A great follow-up to the Money in the Bank PPV, tonight's Raw gets a huge thumbs up.

14 comments:

  1. what's that shit u did with sting's face? i don't get it?! lol

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  2. Oh come on, my MS Paint Stinger Sting is a work of art!

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  3. oh shit, you're trying to make sting look like Borden sting?

    That was true crap razor!

    I am laughing my intestines out here! lolz!!!

    bwahahahahahaha!

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  4. hmmm, i think i am more interested in santino than john jannetty....

    and why the f is Z Ryder a jobber now? I understand regal coz he can't wrestle so much now ... but ZR?

    :(

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  5. world's fattest jobber = Mark Henry

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  6. Speaking of intestines falling out: Wade Barrett, everybody!

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  7. tarver has gone from being pig crap to being one of the best damn mic workers in the biz!

    gosh

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  8. "Speaking of intestines falling out: Wade Barrett, everybody!"

    are you sick r?

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  9. "Dana Gould reference FTW."

    pls tell me that's just an americo-centric thing?! lolz

    otherwise i am missing some serious shit here lolz

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  10. Dana Gould is a stand-up comic and was a writer on The Simpsons for awhile.

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  11. ahhh ok, ....

    then ....

    just for you ...

    David Walliams is Cool! :D

    so there!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well, of course. He was Vulva.

    ReplyDelete