Monday, July 12, 2010

WWE Raw thoughts - July 12, 2010

Wow, WWE totally changed the "ladies and gentlemen, we promised you a great main event" intro. That was jarring, but I dug it, nothing wrong with changing things up a bit.

John Cena starts things out talking about how this time next week, he'll be WWE Champion once again, because no one can interfere in a cage match. Yeah, no one in the history of WWE has ever interfered in a cage match, it's totally safe! Doesn't take long for Nexus to stroll out on the stage, or as John Cena likes to call them, "Nnnnnn." Little exchange of words, and then COLE'S GOT MAIL! If anyone interferes during the 6-on-1 (ugh) handicap match, they'll be suspended for 90 days, but if Nexus doesn't adhere to tag rules, they'll be suspended. Standard way to start the show, but definitely an effective way to sell the main event, even if it is a stupid handicap match.

Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim is our opening contest for the evening, which is a shame. Quick match that the crowd couldn't care less about, but can you blame them? WWE's given us absolutely no reason to care about any Diva on the Raw brand in months. After Fox picks up the win, COLE'S GOT MAIL, and G?M has declared that Alicia Fox must defend the Diva's Championship this Sunday against Eve.

The Hart Dynasty vs. The Usos & Tamina up next, in six-person tag action and a rematch from the Fatal 4-Way PPV. As much as I like the Tamina/Natalya dynamic, and I love the idea of an anti-Hart Dynasty, I can't help but feel like The Usos have stalled the progression of the tag division. The Harts haven't appeared on Smackdown since they arrived, and the champs showing up on both shows was the best part of the division since they unified the belts. Of course, if they were to show up on Smackdown, that would probably mean they'd have to deal with Hawkins & Archer, so maybe I should just shut up? Anyway, a solid, but way too short match here with The Usos picking up the win and the momentum heading into their title match this Sunday.

Backstage, Nexus takes out Yoshi Tatsu?! Well I was all for what you guys were doing until that, why you gotta take out poor Yoshi? Sure, he got involved last week, but you could've just ignored him like WWE has since ECW ended.

Ted DiBiase & Maryse out next with an entrance so long, it makes Randy Orton look like The Ultimate Warrior. Ted says he's going to win Money in the Bank and will shower Maryse with gifts, John Morrison interrupts to say the French don't shower. Witty, original stuff. And yeah, you can't bash John Cena's silly promos after the nonsense Morrison just spewed. Brawl ensues, Morrison goes for Starship Pain, but Maryse makes the save. This segment was like watching someone's Create-a-Story in Smackdown vs. Raw 2010.

Okay, the Santino's Bunch video and following backstage bit with Florence Henderson & William Regal was pretty damn funny. John Morrison, take notes for future comedy attempts.

10pm Main event coming up now with Edge vs. Randy Orton! Big match, hopefully it'll get the time it deserves. Thankfully, that's what we got; a damn fine match between both guys, crowd was electric and both guys looked like equals. Chris Jericho interfered, allowing Edge to get the win with the Edge-O-Matic (yes, he actually won a match with it, first time in ten years). Jericho hit Edge with Codebreaker afterward, Orton hit Jericho with an RKO, Evan Bourne hit the ring and tried to hit Orton with Shooting Star Press... BUT ORTON RKO'D HIM OUT OF IT! Yes, Randy Orton hit the RKO on Evan Bourne mid-Shooting Star Press. Without a doubt, the coolest thing Randy Orton has ever done. Ever. No debate, end of discussion, the coolest thing he has EVER done. Someone get that on YouTube, pronto.

Speaking of pure awesomeness, The Miz is here! Miz shows a clip of him taking out R-Truth with his "bare hands," but it will pale in comparison to what he'll do with a ladder this Sunday. G?M chimes in to announce that Miz will have to take on R-Truth's replacement for MITB... Mark Henry. Lame. Mark Henry is in this match for one reason: catch Evan Bourne when he falls from a ridiculous height. Miz kicks Henry's ass outside the ring, presumably causing a disqualification, but hopefully he'll wind up taking him out the match too. No offense to Mark Henry or anything, but he has less business being in this match than Ted DiBiase.

Florence Henderson is our guest ring announcer for our next match, a Brady Bunch 8-man tag featuring William Regal, Primo, Zack Ryder (minus a pant leg?!) & DOINK THE CLOWN vs. Santino, The Great Khali, Goldust and Vladimir Kozlov. I'm getting serious WrestleMania 8 vibes here... RIP Ray Combs! The Santino Bunch picks up the win after Doink tries to blind Khali with a squirt gun, but gets the Brain Chop instead. Santino tries to get a kiss from Florence Henderson after the match, but instead she goes for the Punjabi Playboy... woulda been funnier if Santino missed the kiss and got Goldust instead.

I'm not sure if there are worse commercials than those terrible Just For Men spots.

Backstage, Edge tells us that he hears voices in his head, they talk to him, they understand.

Also backstage, Evan Bourne is somehow alive and Sheamus wants to make fun of him. Continuing the theme of the night Nexus gets some revenge on Bourne after he helped run them off last week, but then they turn their attention to Sheamus, who runs! He, you don't get stay WWE Champion for long if you make decisions like fighting six guys at once, fella.

Main Event time! John Cena vs. The Nexus in a 6-on-1 handicap match. Handicap matches are the bane of my existence. Nexus pick up the win (as they obviously should), but Cena goes nuts after the match with a steel chair, Nexus tries to get the upper hand, but Sheamus makes the save with a chair of his own. Don't get it, Sheamus and Nexus colliding does nothing for me right now and I think we've pretty much guaranteed another wonky finish for a PPV main event.

Weird Raw. I liked it, but there really wasn't much to like, if that makes any sense. Orton vs. Edge was the highlight of the night, and the Shooting StaRKO will be the WWE YouTube clip of the year, but other than that, the show looks terrible on paper. In execution though, things worked, the hype for the PPV was solid and I've learned to not write off anything involving Nexus because even if I don't dig it at first, it usually works itself out in a week or two. Hopefully that's the case here and hopefully this storyline gets a little more progression come Sunday.


  1. I noticed the intro change too - it seems that JR's voice is no longer there.

    Correct me if I'm wrong, but I didn't hear it.

  2. Holy fucking shit that RKO was amazing.

  3. Yeah, sounds like the edited JR out, which is bullshit.

    And yeah, let's just all take a moment for the awesomeness of the Shooting StaRKO.

  4. I loved that RKO

    I love the internet :)

  5. The Shooting StaRKO was definitly the best thing. Move of the year? Best wwe raw action replay of the year: the Miz emptying the trash on Mark Henry. LMAO.

  6. RAW hasn't aired here yet but even I have seen the ShootingStaRKO and baby that thing was amazing! Probably helps that I'm a fan of both of them.