Monday, June 7, 2010

WWE Raw thoughts - June 7, 2010

Live blogging tonight's three-hour Viewer's Choice edition of Monday Night Raw, but just a quick heads up, I'm running a bit behind this evening, but I'll get caught up at some point. Keep refreshing your page for ongoing coverage of tonight's show!

So Bret Hart & Teddy Long start things off, introducing the Viewer's Choice concept, and naturally, someone has to come out to demand something, and that person is Randy Orton! The Viper's arm is in a sling, but he still wants a match with Edge, and Edge is on board with it. T-Lo and The Hitman give Edge what he wants, but with the audience voting on the stipulation: a debate, a sit-up contest, or a match where Edge's arm is tied behind his back. Guess which one they wanted to see? Personally, I voted for the debate, I'm curious to know Randy Orton's position on BP's fiscal responsibility for the oil spill.

Our first match of the night is Big Show vs. Chris Jericho with the following stipulations: over the top rope challenge, submission match, or body slam challenge. The fans voted for body slam challenge, but Big Show won all three challenges anyway. Yawn.

The Hart Dynasty have a match against: A. The Usos B. The Dudebusters or C. The Great Khali & Hornswoggle. Really? REALLY?!

The Hart Dynasty vs. The Great Khali & Hornswoggle is our next match, and I'm sure we're witnessing an instant classic. Hart's pick up the easy win by pinning Hornswoggle, which only causes the crowd to boo them. Usos interfere to take our minds off that, but really, what purpose did that serve?

The A-Team is being billed as the "biggest blockbuster of the summer," but shouldn't we wait until the movie opens before making that claim? Bradley Cooper comes out to say "we've got a great show," and that's literally it.

Jerry Lawler has hired the Murdock & BA Baracus to find his stolen crown.

And now Santino is here to take on Vladimir Kozlov in A. a match, B. an arm-wrestling match, or C. a dance-off. Are we just trying to get all of the crap out of the way in the first hour or something? Dance-off wins, as it should, because does anyone really want to see Santino and Kozlov wrestle each other? This the battle of two guys that WWE wants to keep around, but they clearly have no confidence in their in-ring abilities, so they get to do stuff like this. Vladimir Kozlov is "more stronger, faster" though and his dance is actually really funny. Kozlov could become the next Santino with stuff like this... but look where being the current Santino got Santino.

The Divas are here for the most interesting stipulations of the evening: A. Battle Royal B. Twelve Diva Tag C. Diva's Champion vs. Women's Champion. Diva Battle Royal gets the overwhelming win, which is easily the worst of all the options. Only thing of note so far, Alicia Fox against almost breaking her neck. Every time this woman steps in the ring, she takes some sort of horrific spill, can we please just keep her in someone's corner so I don't have to watch her break her neck someday? Maryse & Jillian are the final two Divas and Jillian wants to be co-winners, but Maryse throws her out of the ring ala Bad News Brown and Bret Hart at WrestleMania 4. Okay, I liked that.

Sheamus is in action next against A. Kane, B. Mark Henry, C. Evan Bourne, and I'm not sure who I want in this one. I want to see more Bourne after his awesome performance last week (back when Raw was entertaining), but I also don't want to see all that momentum hit a big white wall. Nothing to worry about though, because Kane won with 88% of the vote and the match is on. Of course, the first interesting match of the evening ends with Sheamus walking out of the match and taking a count-out loss. I get it, Kane's actually interesting for the first time in years and they want to keep both guys looking strong, but still... lame.

Big match tonight, John Cena vs. A. Jack Swagger, B. Rey Mysterio, C. CM Punk, and while any of those matches are incredibly appealing, but I'm pretty sure Cena and Mysterio have never wrestled each other before, so that match gets my vote.

Wade Barrett is backstage talking up his NXT win and promises to do something that's never been done before next week. Orton gets the early upper hand, slaps the mat for the RKO, miraculously manages to avoid injury, but Edge rips the rope off and just starts wailing on Orton's injured shoulder, causing a DQ. LAME! Oh well, at least we get to see Edge attack Orton with a chair after the match, so I got that going for me.


The A-Team is backstage with Ted DiBiase & Virgil and they're still looking for Lawler's missing crown. Turns out, "Uncle Irwin," IRS has it because Lawler is behind on his taxes. Wonder if the Repo Man got it for him?

Love this tag team concept: R-Truth and A. Christian B. MVP or C. John Morrison vs. The Miz and A. Dolph Ziggler B. William Regal or C. Zack Ryder. Votes have been tallied and it's R-Truth & John Morrison vs. The Miz & Zack Ryder! WWE Universe, you suck for voting Marty Jannetty John Morrison over Christian, but Zack Ryder and The Miz as a team? Okay, I can get behind that. Enjoyable match, that's made even better by the fact that Team Miz wins! Miz pinned Morrison after the Skullcrushing Finale, and proved once again that he was the superior member of that team. Sorry guys, there are reasons why Morrison was #1 on my list of Superstars in the Danger Zone, and this match is one of them.

Edge vs. Randy Orton in a one-arm match, and I feel like I should be watching this match with one eye. Uh-oh, Orton's slapping the mat, but miraculously he avoided injury! Of course, the match was another mess with Edge untying his arm and getting himself DQed, but at least we got to see him wail on Orton with a steel chair, so I have that going for me.

Drew McIntyre is out next to face A. Yoshi Tatsu B. Goldust or C. THE MYSTERY BOX! Never take the mystery box, keep the red snapper, Miss Phyllis Weaver! Of course, fans can't refuse the mystery, but it's no real secret that the shadowy figure is Matt Hardy! Hardy finally gets his hands on McIntyre and we've got ourselves an all out ass whoopin! Hardy nails the Twist of Fate and picks up a relatively easy win. A bit anticlimactic for a feud that's been built up for over a month.

Ted Dibiase, Virgil & IRS (okay that's fun to type in 2010) have Rampage Jackson handcuffed in the ring because someone wants BA Baracus served to them on a silver platter... and it's "Rowdy" Roddy Piper! Oh. Em. Eff. Gee. It all makes sense now, Piper wants Mr. T, and I guess Rampage is close enough... or Piper's gone senile. But The A-Team & Dusty Rhodes (wait, what?) come to save the day! Rampage breaks out of the worst fake handcuffs ever and throws out spinebusters all over the place. This was... weird? Awful? Awesome? I'm not exactly sure. I'm going with awesome because there's really no better way to use the A-Team than using Hot Rod's real life hatred for Mr. T.

John Cena vs. CM Punk is our main event tonight, and don't get me wrong, I totally support these two getting in the ring together, but I would've preferred Mysterio vs. Cena, simply because we haven't seen it. Still, I'm not going to complain when CM Punk gets a main event match on Raw with the WWE Champion, and based on the few times we've seen these guys wrestle before, they've shown great chemistry. Crowd's got a "YOU CAN'T WRESTLE CLAP, CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP" chant for Cena, I'm starting a "YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT CLAP, CLAP, CLAP-CLAP-CLAP" chant from my couch. Get over it, kiddos!

So yeah, Cena and Punk are having a fun match, but wait is Wade Barrett doing on the ramp? And hey, is that Michael Tarver? Wait... all of the Season 1 NXT Rookies are here and they're kicking EVERYONE'S ass. John Cena, CM Punk, Justin Roberts, Mike Chioda, the timekeeper, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, random dudes, EVERYONE. The NXT Rookies destroy the Raw set, tear up the ring and destroy John Cena.

Hoooooooooooooly shit, did that just happen? Aside from Jericho's return and ECW joining WCW, I can't think of a more memorable ending to Raw. The ECW bit aside, in just 90 seconds, the NXT Invasion was better than almost everything else in the six months of the WCW Invasion. If they run with this, WWE could've just stumbled on the next big thing in professional wrestling. The first 2 hours and 45 minutes of this show were absolutely unbearable, but no one cares now because this ending was flat-out frigging awesome. Not only that, they managed to make the NXT Rookies more interesting in ten minutes than they did in the entire first season of the show. Well played, WWE... well played.

"YOU ARE NOT BETTER THAN ME!"

3 comments:

  1. But can you imagine what a win here would do for Bourne?

    ReplyDelete
  2. You just worked a UHF reference into a Raw live blog. I love you Razor.

    ReplyDelete