Monday, March 8, 2010

Raw Thoughts - March 8, 2010

Yep, it's the official start to the Monday Night Kerfuffle, I will be live blogging Raw, trying to catch TNA during commercials, and then I'll review Impact either later tonight or tomorrow.  Should be a fun night for wrestling fans, make sure you keep refreshing your page for constant updates!

Well, even though WWE is downplaying TNA's move to Monday nights, there's nothing wrong with playing it safe and bringing out the big guns first, The Undertaker is here!  From my understanding, Impact opened with Hulk Hogan, which means The Undertaker and Hulk Hogan were on two Monday night wrestling shows at the same time.  Maybe we are revisiting 1997.  Good stuff from Taker here, promising to make Shawn Michaels' career rest... in... I'M JUST A SEXY BOY,  Shawn Michaels is here!  And Shawn, we might have to have a fashion intervention with you and Davetista... a fleece vest with camo on the top half?  I don't even think Walmart sells that!  I know wardrobes can get a little ridiculous in wrestling, but shouldn't that be reserved for actual ring attire?  Okay, again, the Project Runway portion of the review is over, at least until Batista arrives.

Great promo work from both men, Shawn's got his confidence back and even has the courage to throw out a new stipulation for their match, no count-out and no disqualification!  Oh yeah, these two could definitely top their performance from last year, like I said last week, they're already topping the hype for the match.  Taker's getting particularly intense here and I challenge any two guys in any wrestling promotion to create an aura around a match like HBK and Undertaker have.

Well if WWE ever wanted me to change the channel to TNA, they'd put on the Raw divas! Gail Kim, Eve & Kelly Kelly vs. Katie Lea, Alicia Fox & Maryse got me to flip over to TNA, only to see Abyss screaming "WHY STING WWWHHHHHYYYYYY," forcing me to change right back to Raw.  FFS.  Eve forces Maryse to tap out to her armbar finisher, I guess setting up a feud between the two, which is fine.  Eve has been improving quite a bit over the last few months, so that shouldn't be too bad, probably the best they can do with the Raw Divas right now.

Criss Angel's backstage with the Bella Twins pulling string out his eye.  It's the grossest thing I've seen on a wrestling show since Ric Flair took a back body drop 15 minutes ago.

Business is about to pick up with an appearance from our Unified Tag Team Champions, ShowMiz!  Miz doesn't think Truth & Wisdom deserve a shot at the gold at WrestleMania, and he does make a good point, they're not even a real team!  After the good promo from Miz though, I have to raise an eyebrow at WWE because they're giving away the WrestleMania match for free right now?  A non-title "preview" of R-Truth & John Morrison vs. ShowMiz is our next match this evening, but of course, shenanigans end it quickly.  The referee can't get control of the match and calls for the bell, but it seems Morrison & Truth were here to prove a point.  As good a way as any to hype the PPV match, I suppose, but TNA should claim gimmick infringement.

We're 20 days away from WrestleMania, and also 20 days away from our goal of 500 Twitter followers.  If you're not following Kick-Out!! on Twitter yet, help a brother out!

Bit of a calm promo from John Cena, acknowledging the fact that he's never beat Batista and that Batista always seems to beat the holy hell out of him.

Evan Bourne & William Regal are competing for the final MITB spot?  While I fully support Evan Bourne in the match... what the hell happened to Kofi Kingston?!  Will he not even get a spot on the card?  LAME!

Speaking of lame, hey it's Legacy!  Rhodes & DiBiase vs. Randy Orton in a handicap match is up next, but Orton interrupts their entrance to get the jump on them and sending us to commercial.  Okay sorry WWE, TNA has Rob Van Dam on right now, I can't be bothered to watch Legacy.

Okay, the match was five seconds long, so we're back on Raw and I wish this match was five seconds long.  After what feels like the length of an entire show, Ted DiBiase nails Dream Street and picks up the win for Legacy.  I figured Rhodes & DiBiase would implode here, setting up a triple threat at WrestleMania, but now I have no idea what's in store for these guys in Phoenix... but honestly, I'm not sure I care.

After what felt like a long break, we're back and it's time to play the gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!  Triple H is here and is giving props to Sheamus for doing what he did last week.  Triple H mentions that he basically humiliated Sheamus at Elimination Chamber, but The Celtic Warrior isn't even going to let him finish his thought.  Hey, I don't blame Sheamus either, Triple H did cost him his "dobel-yeh, dobel-yeh eee Championship."  This whole Triple H/Sheamus business at WrestleMania is still kinda blowing my mind... and I can't believe Triple H referencing the fact that he got destroyed by The Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania 12.  Great tool to really sell their match, but it also never gets talked about anymore.  After months of his way-too-serious feud with Orton and then his way-too-goofy stuff with DX, I forgot about this Triple H.  The Triple H that can hang with John Cena, Shawn Michaels and Undertaker in terms of creating a big match situation. Great stuff, and I'm actually really stoked about this match now.

Now I'm hearing Audioslave's "Be Yourself," how many WrestleMania themes are there?!  Evan Bourne vs. William Regal is up next in our final Money in the Bank qualifying match, and for my money, no one enters a ring cooler than Evan Bourne.  This one should be a lot of fun if given enough time, plus Christian is at ringside on commentary, which makes everything a little better.  Unsurprisingly, the match doesn't get enough time, but Evan Bourne does win after an absolutely gorgeous Shooting Star Press, and the MITB if official: Christian vs. Kane vs. Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne... that may be the best line-up since the first one.

The greatest Superstar of all-time, Stone Cold Steve Austin is next week's guest host!  OH HELL YEAH!

Criss Angel made his pyro go off with magic, true story.  Angel is the guest ring announcer for the Main Event, and I gotta say, the guy is better on the mic than a lot of wrestlers.  He's a natural entertainer, and if he lifted some weights, he could probably be a wrestler.  Vince McMahon vs. John Cena is the aforementioned main event, and Vince is rocking the black jeans tonight, which means Cena is in big trouble.

And yeah, if you thought this match wasn't going to be a total clusterfuck, you might be new to pro wrestling.  Vince lets Cena know this is a handicap Gauntlet Match, pitting Cena against Vince, Vladimir Kozlov, Drew McIntyre, and Jack Swagger, but it's not really a Gauntlet Match, it's just a "send some dudes out whenever Vince calls for them match."  Laugh now, but it's going to be the main event of Extreme Rules.  Eventually, Vince grows tired of Swagger and calls for Mark Henry, who looks really disappointed in himself for what he's doing to John Cena.  Shame on you, Mark!  Even after the World's Strongest Slam, Vince can't pin Cena, and turns it into a no-DQ match.  Mark Henry tries to stop Vince from using the ringbell, but is speared by Batista!  Kofi Kingston tries to make the save (okay, he is still employed, just checking), but is hit with a NASTY! Batista Bomb.  Cena tries to Hulk up (yeah I said it), but gets a spear and a Batista Bomb of his own and Vince picks up the 1-2-3.  Ridiculous.

And thus concludes WWE completely no-selling TNA moving to Monday nights.  Not a great Raw by itself, but it did what it needed to do, continued the build for WrestleMania.  But next week, they look to be firing on all cylinders: Stone Cold guest hosting, Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, John Cena vs. Big Show, Triple H vs. Randy Orton and the official contract signing for Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon.  The hype for Mania this year has been awesome, it's just a shame Raw can't seem to find any consistency.

No comments:

Post a Comment