Wednesday, December 16, 2009

ECW Thoughts - December 15, 2009

Kane has been invited to return to ECW tonight and lets us know with an "I'M BAAAAAAAACK." Seriously, anytime someone uses that Poltergeist reference, I cringe at the lameness; I think we can all agree it's time to retire the joke.

Tiffany is in the ring and invites Christian & Shelton Benjamin to the ring to congratulate them on their match at TLC. Shelton wants a rematch, but William Regal & The Ruthless Rountable have something to say about that. Regal wants to know why Kane has been invited to the show, and that brings us to Christian's next opponent, the winner of ECW Homecoming. What's ECW Homecoming? Basically, former ECW stars are being brought back to compete against current Superstars in a tournament of sorts. 16 men, and the final 8 will compete in a Battle Royal on January 12 to determine who will face Christian at the Royal Rumble. Sounds a lot more confusing when I type it out, but I like the idea... as long as it doesn't end up being Christian vs. Kane. Personally, I'm hoping for Christian vs. Matt Hardy.

The Hurricane vs. The Ripper is our opening contest and sadly not up to par with previous matches between Hurricane and Burchill. Perhaps because it wasn't Paul Burchill, but "The Ripper," who was trying to earn an ECW contract. Of course, Hurricane quickly put a stop to those plans by removing The Ripper's mask and nailing him with the Shining Wizard for the win. Nice try, Paul. After the match, Gregory Helms interviewed Paul & Katie Lea backstage with his cape hanging out of his suit... hilarious.

The Abraham Washington Show up next with special guest, the Diva of the Year, Maria. As bad as the Abraham Washington show is, Tony Atlas was freaking awesome. Maria wasn't too bad either, teasing Abe with her Slammy... now if this segment could ever have a point, we might be onto something.

Forgot to mention, Savannah has apparently taken over ring announcing duties after the departure of Lauren Mayhew. She's definitely more natural, still needs work, but I think the only way she'll get better is if she does it every week, just like Lilian Garcia. I approve.

Ezekiel Jackson vs. Vladimir Kozlov is our first ECW Homecoming match, even though both of these guys are already "home." We finally get a chance to see these two square off after all the tension within the Roundtable, but just when you think you have all the answers, William Regal changes the question! Regal escorted Kozlov to the ring, but winds up turning on him and giving the win to Big Zeke! Weird... a Zeke face turn makes way more sense than a Kozlov turn, but I suppose we're going to just have to wait and see on this one.

Trent Baretta & Caylen Croft defeated D-Generation X... in Smackdown vs. Raw 2010. Well, Trent Baretta & Caylen Croft CAWs defeated D-Generation X in Smackdown vs. Raw 2010. And then they go to the ring for an actual match against Local Competitors, spoiler alert: Local Competitors lose. The most interesting part of this match is the announcement that Chris Jericho will be on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon this Thursday night. Other than that, your standard ECW squash, Croft & Baretta aren't bad, but I don't know where they're going to go as a tag team on ECW.

Main Event Time! Kane vs. Zack Ryder in our next ECW Homecoming match. Before things get started, Yoshi Tatsu vs. Jack Swagger is announced for next week, which should be awesome if given enough time. But let's focus on tonight, Ryder vs. Kane... not liking the Lord of Long Island's chances in this one; and eat your heart out, Matt Striker, I can come up with cool nicknames too! Ryder's gets in a surprising amount of offense, so much that it's kinda taking me out of the match a bit because I don't know if I can buy Zack Ryder dominating the Big Red Machine without some serious shenanigans. Of course I say that, and it's not long before Kane nails a chokeslam and gets the win, advancing to the next round of ECW Homecoming.

Easily a better show than the abysmal Monday Night Raw that it followed, but I don't grade on a curve and I have to admit I wasn't a fan of this show. I love the ECW Homecoming concept, and I think it will produce some entertaining moments, but a two-minute match between Zeke & Kozlov and a match that's not much longer between Kane & Zack Ryder aren't those moments. I expect more from ECW main events, but Kane vs. Ryder was something that you'd expect to see at 10:25 on Raw - total filler. Burchill vs. Hurricane was the best part of the night by default, because all that was left on the show was a squash tag match and the Abraham Washington Show. Here's hoping Superstars and Smackdown can pull WWE out of this rut they're in this week.


  1. I find it infinitely amusing that you (and probably everyone else that watched) realized that's the Hurricane's cape hanging out of his suit. Some schmuck PWTorch columnist thought it was, paraphrasing, "a shiny dress or something". Yeah, because that tooooooootally makes sense.

  2. More of that hard-hitting insider scoop we've come to expect from the Torch.

  3. William Regal taking a page out of Chris Jericho's book with...actually, i'm not sure how to spell it. Ribaldry?

    Shame on whoever switched Berrate and Crofts theme! They should have a 6 man tag with Zach Ryder at some point, these two seem to have a similar Broseph thing going on.

    Speaking of those two, I wonder if someone backstage has to make these CAW's (there was the Drew Mcintyre one too) or if they use the download feature.

  4. "Kane has been invited to return to ECW tonight and let's us know..."

    Misusing the possessive, Razor? For shame.

  5. I'm not above a typo. Thanks for catching it though.