Monday, November 23, 2009

Raw Thoughts - November 23, 2009

Gonna keep up with the live blogging, but going to try doing things a little differently tonight. Hopefully you'll enjoy, just let me know what you think in the comments! Looks like we got our first match for tonight announced, John Cena vs. CM Punk - first time ever! Hell yeah.

We're expecting the arrival of Jesse "The Governor" Ventura, but instead get Randy "The City Council Member" Orton. Orton demands that Ventura prove to us that he's truly a maverick and lift his ban on facing John Cena for the WWE Championship. That's our guest host's cue, but this isn't "The Governor," this is Jesse "The Body" Ventura! I'm a little bummed to see that Jesse has his hair mostly under control, when he reemerged last summer to challenge Dick Cheney, he was sporting one hell of a skullet. Oh well. Ventura is completely on his game tonight, you'd think he never left the business in the first place... can we just put him back in the commentary booth full time? In the middle of his awesome promo, Ventura lets Orton know that he will NOT get a title shot (yay!) and in fact, no one who's ever been a World Champion will get a title shot! A series of matches will occur tonight and the winners of those will go onto compete in the Breakthrough Battle Royal to determine the new #1 contender! I like it. On top of that, CM Punk vs. John Cena and DX vs. The Hart Dynasty?! First match is up next!

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler is our first qualifying match for the Breakthrough Battle Royal, so it looks like this will be an interbrand series. Good match, Ziggler actually gets some decent offense in, which is more than he could've said last night at Survivor Series. Kofi's got all the momentum here, so it's no surprise that he picks up the win after blocking the Zig-Zag and catching Ziggler with Trouble In Paradise! I dunno, Kofi seems like the obvious choice to win this whole thing, but perhaps a little too obvious? I wouldn't be shocked if Orton costs him the Battle Royal later on, but if Kofi doesn't win, I have no idea who could become the new #1 Contender.

Nice, but simple promo from The Miz backstage. Why does he need to be thankful for anything when being awesome comes so naturally?

Sheamus vs. Finlay is our second Breakthrough Battle Royal qualifier, and this is a match I've been waiting to see since I first saw Sheamus earlier this year in a dark match before his ECW debut. Nice brawl, but way too short, hopefully we'll get to see these two Irishmen collide again in the near future, but Sheamus picks up an easy win with the Irish Edge. Oh, looks like the near future is now, The Celtic Warrior continues his attack-after-the-match gimmick and boots Finlay into the crowd. So we got Sheamus and Kofi in contention right now, hmmm...

CM Punk already? Seems like an odd placement for a match this big, hopefully they'll get to go to at least the top of the hour, because this one could be really good. Oh, and speaking of really good, Punk has a microphone! And since it's Thanksgiving, Punk is turning his attention away from the drunks and junkies and turning his preaching towards people who stuff themselves over the holidays. Alright Punk, I can handle the anti-drug message, I can even understand the no-drinking, but no one - and I mean no one - judges me for my love of gravy! Seriously though, Punk's closing line, "John Cena... through these sober eyes, I can see you," was absolute brilliance. Match is next!

First time EVER! CM Punk vs. John Cena in a non-title match! I expect the internet to implode on itself when Cena wins this one. It's funny, I'm sure some of the same people who will be furious if Cena wins, are the same people who talk about titles being "meaningless" nowadays. Seems they only want the title protected when a guy they like is champion. Awesome match between these two, both men getting in a lot of offense and it was a solid back and forth encounter even though it was pretty much a forgone conclusion that Cena would win, I'm surprised Punk didn't tap to the STF. In fact, Cena had to finish Punk off with an Attitude Adjustment off the top rope! Good stuff.

Backstage, Vince McMahon meets up with Jesse Ventura and "The Body" has big plans for Vince tonight... they're going back to the old days. Vince & Jesse in the commentary booth. OH. HELL. YES.

MVP, Mark Henry & R-Truth vs. Jack Swagger, Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters is up next, and this is a Breakthrough Battle Royal qualifying match, all three members of the winning team will advance. Sorry Chris, unless you're bouncing your pecs to 80s metal, I just can't bring myself to care. Well, especially when Chavo and Jack Swagger are on the team too, these guys don't exactly have momentum right now. Sure enough, this one's over pretty quick after R-Truth nails Masters with the Lie Detector - Truth, MVP and Mark Henry are in the battle royal!

Is it just me or does Shawn Michaels look like Toby from The Office? HBK and Triple H are backstage arguing over what happened last night, but guess what? They just got lil' served! DX is due in "Little People's Court" next week for their assault on Hornswoggle. Okay, it's probably going to be lame, but "Little People's Court" is just plain funny.

So Evan Bourne vs. Primo is set to be our next qualifying match, but Randy Orton attacks Primo and somehow gets himself inserted into the match and of course, wins it. Way to completely ruin a fun concept where no former champions could get a shot tonight. Two big thumbs down to this, and if Orton wins and we have to see Cena vs. Orton again, all of Raw's progress over the last few weeks will be completely erased.

So the Divas are dressed as pilgrims and Indians and the Gobbeldy Gooker is the special guest timekeeper? Wow, I know we've gotta fill three hours and all, but I think we could've just aired that MSG promo again and it would've been better than this. Seriously, this is the reason why the term "WrestleCrap" was coined. Wait, did the Gobbeldy Gooker just attack Melina?! It's Maryse! Well at least there was some point to all this, but we probably could've done this in 10% of the time.

Alright, hopefully our next match will wash this bad taste out of my mouth, D-Generation X vs. The Hart Dynasty, though I'm not sure if it's ever good to be a Hart against DX within a week of Survivor Series. Not much of a match here, Hart Dynasty got in most of the offense, but once HBK tagged in Triple H, it was all over. I liked the finish though, HD goes for the Hart Attack, but HBK nails Sweet Chin Music on DH Smith and Triple H hits the Pedigree as Kidd springboards off the top rope for the win.

Business picks up after the match, it's Chris Jericho! At the TLC PPV, it's gonna be Y2J & Big Show vs. HBK & HHH in a TLC Match! That's a lot of acronyms! I'm in full support of this, Jericho and Shawn Michaels with a ladder is good enough, but add HHH & Show along with ladders and chairs? I can dig that, now let's hope they don't ruin this PPV by making us watch John Cena vs. Randy Orton again. Great promo from Jericho, by the way, but I highly doubt you needed me to tell you that.

Rey Mysterio's music hits, but it's Batista instead. Oh Dave, you sneaky bastard! So I was pretty excited about Batista's heel turn when it happened, but I think that was pretty short-lived, especially when it looks like a mini-feud with Kane is on the horizon. Batista's capable of good matches, but him and Kane have never really gelled in the ring that I can recall and they certainly didn't on the mic tonight. That may have actually been the most boring segment I've seen in a long time.

Cryme Tyme vs. Legacy is our final qualifying match, gee I wonder who's going to win this one, especially since Randy Orton weaseled his way into the battle royal? In matches like these, it's the little things you need to appreciate, like Shad taking Ted DiBiase from fallaway slam position into a powerbomb! Granted, that was pretty much the only highlight of the match, especially considering Legacy won, but I'm trying to be an optimist here! While I'm talking about Ted, how ridiculous does The Marine 2 look?

Speaking of straight-to-DVD releases, looks like WWE is still putting out the Jeff Hardy DVD and promoting it pretty heavily. A bit surprising considering his case is still pending, but that just makes me wonder if there really isn't much of a case against him.

Vince McMahon & Jesse Ventura are at ringside for commentary! And Vince is using Animotion for theme music? Hahaha, this is hilariously awesome, only thing missing is that canary yellow suit. I hope Vince goes into old-school commentator mode for this one, maybe we'll even get to hear "BAAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP!"

The Breakthrough Battle Royal our Main Event! Vince and Jesse are gold on commentary, Jesse sounds like he always has and Vince keeps drifting between Mr. McMahon and 1980s Vince McMahon, which is oddly working. This battle royal is all Sheamus, eliminating everyone so far except Legacy (thanks Mark Henry!), and we're down to our final three: Kofi, Orton & Sheamus! Orton tosses Kofi over the top, but Kofi skins the cat and eliminates Orton with a rana! But wait, SHEAMUS FROM BEHIND! SHEAMUS WINS! SHEAMUS WINS!

I was honestly hoping for this, Sheamus has been such a beast from day one, and TLC is going to be overloaded with big matches anyway, so why not take a chance on someone new? I LOVE the idea of Sheamus vs. Cena, might even have potential to be the kind of brutal brawl we saw between Cena and Umaga in 2007. Definitely give the thumbs up to this one, and the show's officially back on track, which is nice since it has gone way downhill after Cena/Punk.

John Cena & Sheamus are in the ring for the official contract signing, which I don't think I've ever seen something like this immediately after a guy earned the title shot. Great promo from the Reverend John Cena here, not so much from Sheamus, but his actions speak louder than words when he boots Cena in the face! It also looks like Jesse Ventura has Sheamus' best interests in mind, he never got a shot at the title because he wasn't the posterboy like Cena, Jesse's goin' rogue! At TLC it's going to be John Cena vs. Sheamus in a Tables Match for the WWE Championship! Now that's shaking things up a bit!

Okay, so this Raw would've been fine if it would've been the 8pm hour mixed with the 10pm hour, 9pm was just embarrassing. Nowhere near as cool as last week's MSG show, but shaking things up with the Orton/Kofi feud, DX vs. JeriShow in a TLC match, and putting Sheamus of all people in a WWE Title match definitely has me excited for the next PPV. Hopefully next week's show will continue to get me hyped for the PPV, but with Verne Troyer hosting and Hornswoggle "suing" DX, I'm worried we might get way too much bad comedy skits instead of PPV build. You never know, we could get something really funny and a great night of wrestling, but we're just going to have to wait and see.


  1. Cena vs. Punk? How completely random.

  2. Agree...Kofi winning seems way too obvious. How a about Dibiase? Helps build Orton/DiBiase too since Orton would have to take backseat to his Legacy mate.

  3. No one else really deserves the shot though, in my opinion. I can't think of anyone on RAW besides Kofi that could take it. If this was for a shot at the title at the Rumble, then I'd say Sheamus, but considering it's TLC - I both hope and fully expect Kofi to pick up the win. Wouldn't surprise me to see Randy worm his way into the match or cost him the title though.

    And how is Cena/Punk random? Jesse was all about new things, Punk is a former World Champion and probably the only former champ that's never faced Cena. I think it makes plenty of sense.

  4. So much for the no former champs allowed stipulation. Yes...the ECW title isn't the same as the other two...but it still should count

  5. Random in the sense that you're right, it's never happened before. I never said it didn't make any sense.

  6. Shawn Michaels' eyes are just a tiny bit less sad than Toby's eyes, which are the saddest eyes ever.

  7. Penn & Teller hosting RAW would be awesome. Just a thought. Las Vegas RAW, Penn & Teller host. They can promote their stage act, since you can't say "bullshit" on cable.

  8. I'm all for Penn & Teller on anything, so I fully support that thought.

  9. This was a great Raw! WAY better than last week. This one actually did something instead of imforming everyone Raw was in NYC 93 times in 2 hours.

    I dig Sheamus but I'm uneasy about this MASSIVE push. I was thinking Ted Jr would win due to the movie but I guess they won't even attempt to give him a face turn based upon how bad the movie looks on the trailer. He had like 2 lines on that, the girl had 12.

    TLC is shaping up to be a great card. Great tag title match. Kofi vs Randy and looks like Batista vs Undertaker.

    Best Raw in a long time. I'm bias though because I watch WWE on DVR so I fast forward Diva matches. Maryse's removal of the custome lasted an eon.

    Great show. Best one in a long time, especially for a 3 hour one. They brought alot of Smackdown talent to keep it interesting.

  10. I have yet to see a good WWE movie. There I said it.

  11. Not even See No Evil?!

  12. See No Evil summarised itself perfectly with the bit at the end where the dog pissed in Kane's eye socket.

  13. I kinda liked The Condemned. The Marine was great for a laugh, but those are the only WWE Movies I've ever seen.

  14. The Marine was pretty wretched for trying to drive the plot along with lots of dialogue from lots of people who can't act. 12 Rounds is the best WWE film - I really enjoyed it and the wrestling fan in me has put it into the top 10 films of 2009.

    I have no doubt that The Marine 2 will be the worst WWE film by miles. Notice how much they tried to cut Ted Dibiase out of the trailer altogether?

    So yeah... Raw... The 'complex' Gooker suit slightly ruined Maryse's comeback, but was still great. I can't name a female who is more effective as a heel. Not to mention she's the hottest diva by miles (Kelly Kelly included).

    I'm a massive fan of Sheamus getting the number one contender slot. I hope he pulls out a performance like Umaga at the 2007 Royal Rumble, as he has the ability to use the microphone without ruining his character. A lot of wrestlers who have previously got the same huge push from the go had the same problem such as Kozlov. Sheamus' future looks bright...

    Of course, the smarks hate the match. There's an article on Wrestlezone that contradicts itself by saying "he doesn't deserve a shot, he's unproven... so anyway, I think the Hart Dynasty should feud with DX as DX going after the Tag Titles is boring."

    Why not go for the match? I'm sold on the idea of the TLC, ECW Ladder match, and inevitable Orton/Kingston match anyway... Let's give the spotlight to others.