Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Raw Thoughts - October 5, 2009

Coming off an abysmal PPV, things aren't looking to bright when the show is hosted by the quarterback for my most hated team in all of professional sports. Randy Orton is champ and Ben Roethlisberger is on Raw, I can't believe WWE is doing this to me on my birthday!

Speaking of Big Ben, he opens the show - thanks for dressing up, you tool - and is thankfully booed by a good portion of the audience. That makes my day just a little brighter. Ben sets up our first match, the Diva Bowl... hopefully none of those Divas follow Ben back to his hotel room (allegedly). I kid Roethlisberger, I kid!

The Diva Bowl, featuring perhaps every Diva in the company was pretty uneventful, just too much going on at once. I was surprised to see Alicia Fox working without a neck brace though. Mickie James picks up the win for her team, but things are about to go from bad to worse...

The new WWE Champion, Randy Orton makes his way to the ring; Jerry Lawler calls him a buzzkill for interrupting the Divas, but I say that about him every week. Orton takes an entire commercial break to get into the ring and then starts yammering on about whatever it is he usually rambles on about. Things get interesting when John Cena comes to ringside to confront the champ, but before we get into that, I have to talk about some idiots in the audience. Okay, so I'm sure you've seen the sign "WE'VE CENA NUFF" before, right? It was clever three years ago, but fair enough, it's your right to display whatever sign you want. What was funny was right behind him, there was some guy with a similar sign, except it said "WE'VE CENA ENOUGH!" And then next to him, a play on John Cena's "U C ME" shirt, except it said "U C WRESTLE!" That's right, "YOU CAN'T SEE WRESTLE." Oh Cena haters, you make me laugh.

Anyway, John Cena & Randy Orton. Orton says "no rematch!" Cena says "oh I think we need a rematch," and issues the challenge of all challenges, something even bigger than Hell in a Cell - IRON MAN MATCH! Okay, now I'm interested. There hasn't been an Iron Man Match in WWE in over five years - no, the 30 minute match that Shawn Michaels and Kurt Angle had doesn't count - this is real deal, 60 freakin' minutes! Cena vs. Orton, no count-outs, no DQs, and if Cena loses, he must leave Monday Night Raw! Alright WWE, you got me to care about a Randy Orton match, congratulations.

Of course, then they have to go and kinda sour the whole thing by announcing it for Bragging Rights, which I thought was supposed to be Raw vs. Smackdown matches? Apparently, the format is going to be standard brand matches and then the winners of the Raw matches team up to face the winners of the Smackdown matches in the match for Bragging Rights... couldn't this have been saved for next month at Survivor Series, especially considering they did something very similar almost 20 years ago at that very event?

Jack Swagger is up next, claiming he will go undefeated throughout the rest of 2009. I like it, it's different and something that really fits Swagger's character, I hope he pulls it off. What I didn't like was his match with Primo, which did absolutely nothing for me. Poor Primo, he works hard and even has cool pyro, but the fans just do not care.

Ben Roethlisberger is backstage (being a dork), and is interrupted by someone who is infinitely cooler (and also celebrating a birthday this week), The Miz! Miz demands a rematch with Kofi tonight for the US Title, but if he loses, he must say, "I'M THE MIZ AND I'M AWFUL!" You first, Ben.

MVP & Mark Henry vs. Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters was alright, nothing spectacular and more evidence that WWE just can't figure out what to do with MVP and The World's Strongest Man. The former number one contenders pick up an easy win, Masters and Chavo argue, but Hornswoggle saves his former rival from the Masterlock... then proceeds to do the DX crotch chop. Why? I'm not sure.

JeriShow interrupting Ben Roethlisberger might be the highlight of my week. My only wish is that Big Show would've knocked him on his ass, but of course, they have to make the guest host look special. I understand, but still... it's him, on behalf of all the other fans in the AFC North, just punch him in the mouth, Big Show! Things get interesting when D-Generation X's music plays, Michael Cole mentions that the Steelers are huge DX fans (because they suck it?) and our main event for tonight is set: DX vs. JeriShow, non-title.

The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston for the United States Championship was a fantastic match, only made better by the fact that The Miz won!!! New US Champ! Finally Miz gets the recognition he deserved back in April and he's got his first major singles title in WWE. I'm glad to see this happen tonight rather than at the PPV, since Kofi could keep his streak of being the king of the multi-man match. Kofi was a great champ, but I think he did all he could with the US Title, it's time for him to move onto bigger things, whether or not WWE goes that route remains to be seen, but I think he deserves consideration for the Rumble. A bit of a longshot, but I'll settle for Money in the Bank too. But tonight's not about Kofi, it's about THE MIZ, who just happens to be AWESOME... and the US Champ!

Really WWE, Nancy O'Dell and Maria Menounos are hosting Raw next week? Don't worry if you're saying "who?" because no one cares about Access Hollywood. What, were John Tesh and Mary Hart busy?

DX vs. JeriShow was an awesome main event and the crowd was red hot the whole way through. I've been hoping for these two teams to feud since DX returned, and since they won tonight, I can only assume a title match is happening at Bragging Rights. Of course, we couldn't leave well enough alone and had to let Roethlisberger and his fellow nimrods get involved when Jericho tried to hightail it out of the ring. I love Triple H and Shawn Michaels, but watching them celebrate with the Steelers made me gag a little bit.

With a PPV just three weeks away, I expected a bit more storyline progression from Raw tonight, but I can't really complain about this show. Yeah, the Steelers were there and Randy Orton is WWE Champ, but the show itself was pretty fun, DX and JeriShow are (hopefully) going to feud, Randy Orton & John Cena are dusting off the Iron Man Match and The Miz is United States Champion! It helped wash the bad taste out of my mouth from the PPV, so I'll give this Raw a thumbs up.


  1. "Access’ Nancy O’Dell & Maria Menounos Tapped As WWE’s First Female Celebrity Hosts"

    I guess Trish Stratus is either not a woman or not a celebrity then.

  2. next weeks raw will be as bad as the al sharpton host who cares to see him or them

  3. Every diva except Katie Lea, I assume because she would only try and play rugby instead.

    Speaking of ECW though, I wonder if Bragging Rights will be missing an ECW match too. It's not quite the SD vs RAW extravaganza I was expecting but I can still see ECW being missed off, which would be a shame.

  4. I would say ECW would be left off if it were all Raw vs. SD matches, but I wouldn't be surprised to see ECW sneak a match in with this format.

  5. I can very proudly say that seeing The Miz become US Champ in OUR birthday week was amazing. (My birthday is ALSO on the 8th.) Happy belated birthday, by the way.

  6. Thanks Mizard! And happy early birthday to you!

  7. Raw progressing storylines? Never.

  8. i despair for this next ppv. I was so excited when I heard it was Smackdown Vs Raw, and I thought, like RKO vs Rey Mysterio or something like DX vs Harts, stuff like that.

    WWE had to go and kick sand in my eyes with the revelation that it's like a big multi man tag match, but just ONE.

    Pure BS. If this PPV meets my low expectations, I will stop watching altogether...

  9. Stop watching altogether because of one bad PPV? That seems a bit extreme.