Monday, October 26, 2009

Raw Thoughts - October 26, 2009

Fresh off the heels of a fantastic PPV, can Raw ride the wave of momentum and continue its entertaining October?

Well if it's entertainment you want, no better way to start Raw than with the Unified Tag Team Champions, Chris Jericho & The Big Show! After turning on Team Raw last night, Show's got some 'splainin' to do, but not before Jericho fawns over him like a child with his new best friend. Jericho was priceless here, but Big Show had to interrupt and let his partner know that he didn't turn on Team Raw because of the Tag Titles, he actually has bigger things in mind. Big Show struck a deal with Teddy Long and he's now the number one contender for The Undertaker's World Heavyweight Championship!

Jericho's not happy, and while they argue, tonight's guest hosts - Kyle Busch & Joey Logano - drive into the arena! This was actually a pretty cool visual, but that was about the only cool thing these two did. The Bella Twins escort the NASCAR drivers to the ring (do they seriously collect a paycheck for this every week?) and then everything just turns hilariously bad. It's never a good idea to let NASCAR drivers talk, unless all they're going to do is list off their sponsors, but holy crap these two butchered the art of public speaking here. I'd suggest getting them some cue cards, but I'm not even sure if they can read. Both of them were bad, but Busch was exceptionally terrible, meandering through his sentences and stringing words together, but not actually saying anything... it was kinda like listening to a Sarah Palin speech [/politics]. Busch let us know that Big Show would be going one-on-one with Triple H tonight, but Chris Jericho would be in action as well against - KOFI JOHNSON! Oh dear, well there's a smark meme that will get beaten into the ground faster than you can say "Summerfest." The Jericho/KINGSTON match starts now!

Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston was everything you could ask for in a free-TV wrestling match. Fast pace, back and forth action, impressive moves, dramatic near falls, great storytelling, and Chris Jericho, who makes every match better. And you know what, forget the "free-TV" caveat, this match would've been a great addition to any PPV; I know I would've shelled out money to see these guys lock up. Jericho thinks he has the match won after hitting the Codebreaker, but Kofi gets his foot on the rope; while Jericho argues with the official, he turns around to catch Trouble In Paradise! Kofi wins!

After the match, Kofi is celebrating his HUGE win on the ramp, when he's attacked from behind by Randy Orton?! Ugh, always gotta ruin every fun moment on Raw, don't you? Randy's upset about Kingston running off Legacy during the Iron Man Match last night, even going so far to outright blame Kofi for the loss. So you tap out with four seconds left on the clock and you think that makes it okay to throw someone off a stage? Wow, this guy does have issues.

To make matters worse, Legacy is backstage and they've bought Randy Orton a present, a customized RKO stock car. As Randy's looking at his image on the hood of the car, Jerry Lawler sums it up better than I possibly could, "this is weird."

Eve Torres is backstage with Kyle Busch & Joey Logano, talking about their upcoming race, when Jack Swagger interrupts, looking for a WWE Title match against John Cena. The Miz walks by and says what's on everybody's mind, "Really?" and suggests that he should be the next to get a shot. Too bad for Miz that this isn't WCW, since he's the US Champ, that would've automatically made him the #1 contender. The guest hosts promise to name Cena's next opponent later tonight.

Melina & Santino Marella vs. Jillian Hall & Chavo Guerrero is next, and it's a pretty entertaining mixed tag thanks to Santino's antics. Of course, since Chavo's involved, that means Hornswoggle has to make an appearance, still rocking the DX attire. HornswoggleBK provides the distraction and Melina picks up the win for her team. After the match, a man in a suit walks into the ring and hands Hornswoggle a neon green envelope, he's been served! DX has issued a cease and desist for gimmick infringement! By the way, I love that the law offices of D-Generation X have neon green envelopes.

John Cena is scheduled to come to the ring next, but Legacy steals the spotlight and talks about how they should be next in line for a WWE Title match. I actually suggested this a few weeks back seeing as they're the only credible heels on Raw, but Cena comes to the ring and tells them if they want it, earn it. And they've got a big hurdle in their way...

Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. Mark Henry & MVP is Legacy's chance to prove themselves worthy of a WWE Title match... and they blow it! Raw's forgotten Superstars get a big win over the team that just went the distance with DX the last two months, it's about damn time they got some of the recognition they deserve.

Randy Orton makes his way to the ring after the match and he's not pleased (shocking). Orton doesn't care that he agreed to not face John Cena for the WWE Title after the Iron Man Match, he wants his rematch anyway. Yawn. Typical Orton promo, blah blah blah, but business picks up when Kofi Kingston appears on the TitanTron! Kofi's standing on top of Orton's new stock car, and in one of the coolest moments of the year, he keys it, bashes it with a pipe and dumps a bucket of orange paint all over it! If only he would've spraypainted "Orton is poopy," it would've been the segment of the year. Still, Kofi Kingston mixing it up with Randy Orton? Hell yes. Orton's been tied up with Cena and Triple H for the majority of the last two years, so working with someone new and someone as exciting as Kofi Kingston will do nothing but good things for the stale Legend Killer. Great stuff.

Evan Bourne vs. The Miz in a non-title match was a pleasant surprise. Fun match, and Jack Swagger, apparently not happy with Miz's comments earlier, comes to the ring to hit on Eve, the guest ring announcer for the match. Miz confronts Swagger, the two argue, Bourne hits a slingshot plancha to the outside and scores a count-out win! Hey, a win's a win and now Evan Bourne has TWO victories over a United States Champion this year. Can a brother get a title match?!

So inexplicably, Sheamus is now on Raw. Why? I have no idea, because he was in the middle of a feud with Shelton Benjamin. I'm happy to see Sheamus get a promotion like this, but isn't Raw a little crowded right now? When guys like MVP and Mark Henry are struggling for TV time, I worry where Sheamus is going to fit in. Wouldn't Smackdown have made more sense? Especially considering the fact that he has an instant feud waiting for him on the Blue Brand with Finlay? Well, I'm not a fortune teller, so I don't know what Sheamus' future holds on Raw, but he did demolish Jamie Noble tonight. Poor Jamie Noble.

Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne are next week's guest hosts! We're going to need a translator, closed captioning, and a 12-second delay!

Main event time! Big Show w/Chris Jericho vs. Triple H w/Shawn Michaels! Well, there was something the guest hosts forgot to tell Big Show, it's also a Lumberjack Match with the entire Raw roster (minus Legacy... and Carlito, where the hell is Carlito?) as the lumberjacks, and they're not happy about Bragging Rights. Chris Jericho's not happy about this either and he ducks out through the crowd (with Bragging Rights trophy firmly in hand), leaving Big Show to himself. Oh but there's one more thing, John Cena is the special guest referee! And it's no disqualification! The match is exactly what you'd expect, Raw getting their revenge, but I think all this match really accomplished is it made Big Show look like the biggest badass in the history of pro wrestling. It took a double dropkick from Chavo & Primo, Miz's corner clothesline, Jack Swagger's Vader attack, Mark Henry's corner splash, Kofi Kingston's Trouble in Paradise, Evan Bourne's Shooting Star Press, MVP's running big boot, John Cena's Attitude Adjustment, Shawn Michaels' Sweet Chin Music and Triple H's Pedigree to put the World's Largest Athlete down for a three count. Seriously.

After the match, Busch & Logano are on the ramp and have made their decision about John Cena's next opponent... Hornswoggle!? Yeah, Hornswoggle comes out for some reason, I guess because he's still wearing the DX gear, it reminded them about DX, who will face Cena in a Triple Threat match at Survivor Series! John Cena vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels? Awesome. Huge match, and if they're going to do it, they pretty much have to do it now. I don't think we'll be seeing these three go at it in a TLC Match in December, they're definitely not going to waste a title match that huge at the Royal Rumble, and then the Elimination Chamber returns in February. So unless they wanted to do this match at WrestleMania (and it could certainly headline WrestleMania), I can't think of a bigger PPV to do it at than Survivor Series.

Despite the embarrassing guest hosts, Raw was awesome tonight, maybe even better than last week's show, which I thought was one of the best of the year. Huge main event for Survivor Series, Kofi Kingston getting his much-deserved push (Royal Rumble win, please?), Randy Orton out of the WWE Title picture, MVP and Mark Henry picking up some steam, Evan Bourne getting a win (!!!), and a flat-out amazing match between Jericho and Kofi = a great show. Keep it up, Raw!

8 comments:

  1. "ssssssssssss" [/Santino]

    It made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Santino hasn't got to be that funny in awhile. Big Show, however, was not amused.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm rooting for Kofi to push through the Shelton/MVP Memorial Glass Celing

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, Kofi is better than MVP and Shelton have ever been, and he's been around for way less time. Kofi's something special, the kind of wrestler that doesn't come around very often and if he isn't WWE/World Champ in the near future, WWE's doing something wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I don't see how MVP hasn't gotten this sort of push. I'd put him up there with Kofi any day of the year but they just don't seem to wanna use him for anything.

    On a higher note though, Kofi getting the push is a nice breath of fresh air. This sort of thing was bound to happen to somebody on Raw because of how short they are in the main event period and other than MVP, I don't think I could have come up with any one more deserving than Kofi.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Raw looks so much more interesting now that Orton is stepping away from the main event. Kofi's hugely entertaining promo and Randy's reaction have already made this one of my most eagerly anticipated feuds for quite a long time, and I will be looking forward to seeing what happens next week. Depending on how this feud pans out, I could definitely see Kofi being the top contender for the Money in the Bank briefcase.

    As for next week's hosts, I must say that I'm excited at the thought of seeing Ozzy taking charge. I am a fairly big Black Sabbath fan (although I actually think Ronnie James Dio was their best vocalist), and his solo work, and a live performance would be something I would appreciate. Having said that, Sharon Osbourne is a celebrity I despise more than almost any other and, if most of their public appearances are anything to go by, she will probably get almost all of the mic time, with Ozzy simply looking confused in the background.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yeah, the Big Show really got over for me last night... I mean, if anything, it made the whole Raw locker room look weak if it took that many members of it to take down one man... he is superhuman now.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Since I, unfortunately, will not be seeing RAW today (It just started airing about 15 minutes ago here in Aus) I am counting on you for my info :P
    Even if we disagree on Randy Orton, lol, you're still better than pretty much any other site I've read.

    Still, out of all of this, the most exciting thing for me is Evan getting a win!
    I have got to be one of the biggest, if not THE biggest Evan Bourne fan out there and I cannot wait for him to get a push! I think they should start easing him onto the mic and promos now so he can get used to it and really connect with his fans.

    Plus I'm in an ultra good mood since Ashley Massaro is using the twitter layout I made for her. LOL.

    Ah small things eh?

    ReplyDelete