Monday, October 19, 2009

Raw Thoughts - October 19, 2009

Snoop Dogg aka The D-O-Double-Dizzle (I'm whiter than Sheamus) kicks things off for Monday Night Raw! Huge pop for the Doggfather from the Jacksonville crowd and he's coming to the ring with his brand new song as his entrance music. Personally, I was hoping for "Sensual Seduction," mainly because it's the greatest music video of the last ten years. Don't believe me?

Told ya! Snoop's got a huge Raw planned for tonight - John Cena vs. Triple H, which was announced last week, but that's not all! Also on tap: Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase and Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho! Oh hell yeah. Speaking of HBK, are you ready?

DX relieves Snoop Dogg and hypes their main event match at Bragging Rights, the 14-man Raw vs. Smackdown tag match. DX looks over the opposing team and pretty much coming to the same conclusion that I did in my Smackdown review... this team isn't in their league. Cue the smark whining about "DX burying Team Smackdown," but seriously, have you seen this team? I don't know who the hell Drew McIntyre or Eric Escobar either, and we're supposed to believe they can stand up against Team Raw? In the words of Edna Krabappel, "HAH!"

But not all is well with Team Raw, oh no... there's dissension among the ranks, mainly because Cody Rhodes has delusions of grandeur and thinks he's the real team captain. The team falls apart here, with Kofi Kingston trying to play peacemaker and Triple H stepping in to ask what's on everyone's mind, "didn't you used to be Jamaican?" Cute, and even funnier considering Kofi's wearing a t-shirt with the Jamaican flag on the back of it! Anyway, DX worries that there may be a weak link in the team, so they've arranged a five-on-five match and if anyone on Team Raw gets pinned, they're replaced by the person who did the pinning!

Kofi Kingston, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry & Jack Swagger vs. Primo, Chavo Guerrero, Evan Bourne, Chris Masters & MVP is the match in question and I have to say, I was pretty disappointed with this one. Way too short and the ending was extremely anticlimactic, even with Primo getting hit with a nasty Cross Rhodes. Seriously, someone's going to get paralyzed taking that move, Cody needs something else. Back on track, I'm fine with no one getting replaced here seeing as Team Raw is pretty stacked, but it's a damn shame that MVP is riding the PPV bench once again. All that hype, all that momentum after the Draft, it's all gone at this point. I also have to give props to frequent Kick-Out!! commenter TKz for this gem: "Haha, RAW's B-Team is two Superstar's short of being equal with team SD." Truth hurts.

After the shocking events at the end of last week's Raw, Randy Orton is not too happy with Ted DiBiase. Backstage, he tells Teddy to be smart and do the right thing in their match tonight.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase wasn't so much of a match as it was the official beginning of DiBiase's face turn. Orton taunted Ted throughout the "match," kicking, stomping, and the ultra insulting pie-face. Ted got in a good shove that knocked Orton on his ass (which I'm always happy to see), but got control of his emotions and took the RKO like a man. Orton wins, but with the crowd red hot for DiBiase, this is obviously far from over.

Classy vignette for Captain Lou Albano, very touching. Got me thinking, why not a Captain Lou DVD? I bet a lot of old school guys would have some great stories to tell and the man's influence on merging pro wrestling and pop culture cannot be denied. WWE, make it happen!

Snoop Dogg is backstage, Chavo Guerrero wants respect, Jillian wants her rematch and Santino Marella is dressed like Charlie Brown because him and "Snoopy the Dogg" got off on the wrong foot last year. Snoop's overwhelmed and reaches for his lighter and that bag. Raw's "technical difficulties" graphic pops up (it's Michael Cole with a horribly photoshopped arm hugging Hornswoggle), and we cut back to a room of smoke... from Snoop's line of scented candles! Funny stuff, but desperately needed Rob Van Dam.

John Cena vs. Triple H up next, the crowd's on fire for Cena, who's looking noticeably nervous about this possibly being his last match on Raw. Well, if Cena's on his way out, no better way to leave Raw than with this match, because it was freaking awesome. Definite TV Match of the Year potential, and only the fourth time these two have squared off one-on-one. This match had it all, Cena kicking out of TWO Pedigrees (can anyone else make that claim? HBK at Bad Blood 2004, maybe?), Triple H kicking out an Attitude Adjustment and withstanding the STF, back and forth action, excited crowd, and the drama of this possibly being the end of an era. Cena eventually succumbed to a third Pedigree and took a shocking clean loss. That tells me that Cena's losing on Sunday, when you leave a show or a promotion, you always go out putting someone else over and Cena did just that here. Hmm...

The Miz is out next, taking on a Local Competitor, but Snoop Dogg's on the TitanTron and he's about to "flip the script" as the cool kids would say. Snoop's not pleased with Miz talking trash about Marty Jannetty last Friday on Smackdown, so guess what? He's wrestling Marty Jannetty! Jannetty was impressive here, definitely better than his last appearance in 2007 against Mr. Kennedy, but not as good as he looked in 2005 when The Rockers reunited on Raw, then he wrestled Kurt Angle on Smackdown a few days later. Miz got the easy win, maybe John Morrison can wrestle Jim Neidhart on Friday?

Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 comes out tomorrow! Here's hoping it lives up to the hype.

Jillian vs. Melina for the Divas Championship is up next. Chavo is with Jillian for reasons that remain unclear, but apparently it's just an excuse to continue the Chavo/Hornswoggle feud. Hornswoggle, in gangsta gear, comes out from under the ring, looking like we should be calling him Eazy-H, distracting Chavo, which distracts Jillian, which gives Melina the easy win. Chavo tries to attack Hornswoggle (I thought they were friends now?), which brings out Snoop Dogg, who destroys Chavo; Snoop's a big dude, I wouldn't mess with him. Snoop brings out the Divas, they all dance with Hornswoggle (who has serious moves) and all that's missing are The Boogeyman and Big Dick Johnson to officially make this the "WTF Segment of the Year."

Speaking of the Divas, Melina, Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix, Michelle McCool & Natalya has been added to Bragging Rights. If all these ladies bring their A-Game, this could be the best Divas match that we've seen in awhile. Considering how bad women's wrestling has been in WWE, both brands need desperately need this one.

NASCAR's Kyle Busch and Joey Logan are next week's guest hosts. The gossip sites were telling me David Arquette would be hosting, but apparently they were wrong... shocking!

Main event time! Oh hell yes, Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels never fails to deliver... except when WWE doesn't deliver. Classic bait & switch, the match never begins and both Bragging Rights teams make their way into the ring. Vickie Guerrero makes an appearance, putting all heels in WWE to shame with her UBER-HEAT~!, and tries to keep the inevitable from happening, but you know where this is going -- SLOBBERKNOCKER! It's absolute bedlam in the ring, perhaps even a donnybrook! Classic WCW Nitro-esque finish, all that was missing was Cole screaming, "Folks, we're outta time!"

Okay, so that was pretty much the best Raw in a loooooong time. Despite the bait & switch and the too short 5-on-5 tag, I was really happy with this show. Triple H and Cena got ample time to put on one hell of a contest, Orton & DiBiase brought the drama and Snoop Dogg did a damn fine job as guest host. Good hype for the PPV, good hype for the Raw vs. SD match, good hype for the Iron Man Match and a nice nod to the Miz/Morrison match, which has potential to be a show stealer. I'm actually getting a bit excited for this PPV, but still cautious considering the fact that Eric Escobar & Drew McIntyre are involved in a main event. But we'll see if these guys can bring the goods in six days... we'll see if WWE can as well.


  1. Aye! I got myself a mention! :D

    Yeah, as I said earlier, this is probably the best RAW since Trish hosted (or Bob Barker, whichever was more recent) and the DiBiase/Orton segment was probably my favourite part of the show. I really wanted to see DiBiase just go Jack Nicholson crazy on Orton and destroy him, though obviously it wasn't about to happen on the RAW before the PPV. I just hope WWE actually follow's through on this, as they had potential to even make Cody Rhodes entertaining with the RKO to Dusty a few weeks back, but didn't pull the trigger on it in the end. (Which I'm perfectly happy with if it means Teddy get's the turning face push.)

    Also while I'd love to see Cena take on some of the SD roster, I really don't want him to leave RAW... why? Because if Cena leaves and Orton retains, well, that leaves us with what? Randy Orton versus Triple H. Maybe Michaels, but I don't see HBK winning another World Title any time soon, much as I'd like him too. I know it'd create some space for guys like MVP, Teddy & Kofi Kingston, but I don't think we'll be seeing them challenging for the World Title any time soon.

    Though it is pretty bizarre to think that SD would be the brand with all the main eventers on it, Taker, Cena, Jericho, Batista, Punk, Rey. Compared to what, Orton, Trips, Michaels?

    I was also a little dissapointed at the lack of Snoop Dogg. While this RAW was pretty good for the most part, I would've liked a few more of the backstage moments we usually get with the guest hosts, as it's one of the things I most enjoy about the whole idea - their interaction with the wrestlers.

    ...Alright, well, mainly finding out how each and every host has some connection to Hornswoggle, but the point still stands.

  2. NASCAR drivers? Nobody in the UK has heard of NASCAR drivers!

  3. You know what was good acting? Ted's facial expressions before the Orton match. That has sold me on Ted Jr. the superstar. The guy is going to be great when he gets the chance.