Sunday, October 4, 2009

Hell in a Cell 2009 Review

I had a real bad feeling about this PPV when it opened with a vignette recapping the World Heavyweight Title feud and sure enough, the show opens with CM Punk vs. The Undertaker. Now, I understand that the main events needed to be spread out, but I just don't understand the logic behind opening with this match, especially considering the ending. The match itself wasn't bad, but disappointing considering the participants, the length and the fact that the Cell was barely even a factor. And I'm also not one to put much stock in what the dirtsheets have to say, but I have to wonder if the rumors about Undertaker are true, because he really looked like he was in serious pain out there, but that just makes me wonder... why put the title on him? I'm not upset that Undertaker won, but I am bummed that Punk lost the belt since he's been so damn good lately. I have a feeling this won't last long though and the belt will be back on the Straight-Edge Superstar sooner than later.
Predictions: 0 for 1

John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler was my pick for sleeper match of the night, but wound up being completely underwhelming. After months of stellar performances from both guys, I was expecting something really special, but instead I left this match thinking that Rey Mysterio is the greatest wrestler alive today. Is Ziggler as good as he's looked recently, or was that all Rey Mysterio making him look like a million bucks? I know Morrison is great in the ring, I've seen him put on great matches, but can he carry someone like Rey does? What could've been a defining moment for both guys, turned out to be a match that could've main evented Superstars. And Ziggler blowing another IC Title shot just makes him look like a choke artist and I wouldn't be surprised if this loss kills his momentum.
Predictions: 0 for 2

Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox was -- OH MY GOD ALICIA'S NECK!! If you saw the match, you know what I'm talking about, if you didn't see it, Mickie hit her DDT and Alicia landed entirely on her head. I'm not kidding you, I thought she was paralyzed, but considering how fast they cleared the ring for the next match, I think she's okay, thankfully. See, this is what I was meant on this week's Kick-Out!! Radio when I was talking about WWE rushing Divas into the ring. For weeks I've been wondering why Alicia Fox was getting a title shot, she can barely get through a tag match, but they rushed her into a big match situation and she's lucky that she didn't get seriously injured. It's not Alicia's fault, she's just doing what she's told, but she should've never been put in this match, she's simply not ready.
Predictions: 1 for 3

Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. Batista & Rey Mysterio was awesome and my pick for Match of the Night! These four guys went out there and put on a hell of a show and I was glad to see Rey eventually win the crowd back over after an almost-silent reaction when he made his entrance. I kinda understand the crowd might be disappointed in him over the suspension, but the same people cheered Randy Orton, who's had his share of disciplinary issues over the years too. Speaking of the crowd, it sucked. It was Smark Central out there, which is sometimes fun, when it's appropriate (ECW One Night Stand for instance), but tonight it just made me roll my eyes. Luckily, since this match was so good, they actually allowed themselves to have fun and get into it and didn't try to be too cool all night. Glad to have Mysterio back, but I'm pissed at myself for changing my prediction in this match. On Kick-Out!! Radio, I picked JeriShow, but tonight I switched to Batista & Mysterio with my reasoning being that Mysterio wouldn't lose his return match and they'd most likely win by DQ. Nope, Big Show's "carcinogenic fist" put a stop to that idea and I'm glad him and Jericho retained.
Predictions: 1 for 4

When Randy Orton vs. John Cena went on next, I knew nothing but bad things were in store for the rest of the night. One, that meant Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase were going to headline a PPV (blargh), and two, Randy Orton had a good chance of winning the WWE Title. And of course, that's exactly what happened. Seriously WWE, you just had Cena win the belt back and he's going to drop it a month later to the bland, stale and utterly boring Randy Orton, who's had a stranglehold on Raw's main event scene for ten months now? Not to mention, my interest, which is officially choked out... why should I even care about Raw right now? There are no new challengers for Orton to face, which probably means more Orton/Cena or worse, Orton/Triple H. And of course we're going to be subjected to more monotone promos, twelve minute ring entrances and matches with lots of stomping. Woo! Match itself was okay, but the ending and the hot-potato game with the WWE Title just makes me want to bang my head on my desk. At this point, I feel like they're booking the PPV just to make me sad.
Predictions: 1 for 5

Drew McIntyre vs. R-Truth was nothing special, certainly didn't see anything that makes me think McIntyre is a future World Champion, but the crowd was the most infuriating part of this one. Hey assclowns, you can't chant "BORING!" twenty seconds into a match, it doesn't make you cool, it makes you a disrespectful punk. Ugh. McIntyre (obviously) picks up the win, but this guy's got a long way to go before he's main eventing Smackdown.
Predictions: 2 for 6

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. The Miz up next and The Miz's promo running down New Jersey was one of the few highlights of this dreadful night. Match itself was decent, actually felt like a Triple Threat match instead of a match where two guys fight while the other guy lays outside the ring, which often plagues WWE Triple Threats. Kofi winning was a great decision (the only one of the night?) and so my campaigning will continue: Kofi Kingston - 2010 Royal Rumble winner!
Predictions: 3 for 7

Main Event time! Shawn Michaels & Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase and the match doesn't even get started until about ten minutes after Legacy ambushes DX in the aisle. As much crap as I give Cody & Ted, they were heeling it up all over the place here: hitting HHH with Cross Rhodes on the stage (ow) and locking themselves in the cage with HBK was infuriating to watch. I was begging to see them get their asses kicked and was worried that HBK was going to tap out right as Triple H was using the bolt cutters to get into the Cell. Luckily, that didn't happen and DX proceeded to mop the floor with these two, and gave them a taste of their own medicine by locking DiBiase out and destroying Cody. Lots of brutal spots in here: the aforementioned Cross Rhodes, Dream Street on an open chair, DiBiase's chair dropkick (which did more damage to Cody than Shawn) and the Sweet Chin Music/Sledgehammer combo. So I'll give the devils their due - good match, the crowd was hot for it, the right team won, the losers still got put over and they told a great story. This was also the only match where the Cell was even needed to tell the story, which leads me to hope that this PPV never happens again.
Predictions: 4 for 8

Overall, the first Hell in a Cell PPV unseats the Royal Rumble as the worst PPV of 2009. A lot of matches disappointed, but the match order and the decisions were even worse. The Cell barely came into play in the two title matches, which defeats the whole purpose of the PPV. I've already heard a lot of people complaining that "no blood" killed the show... puh-lease. You don't need blood to make an interesting match, but you do need some reason to care and WWE didn't really give me any tonight.
Even though DX/Legacy was enjoyable, does it stack up against other famous HIAC matches? It doesn't even compare to some of the less memorable ones like DX vs. the McMahons & Big Show or Triple H vs. Kevin Nash. Hell in a Cell can sell a PPV, but tonight we didn't get Hell in a Cell, we got matches that were fenced in.

Hopefully they can rectify this later in the month with the new Bragging Rights PPV, which could be a cool concept if they go the route I'm thinking. If it's Randy Orton vs. Undertaker with no titles on the line, that's lame, but if it's something like Randy Orton defending the WWE Title against a Smackdown Superstar, that would be awesome. Something like Orton vs. Mysterio for the WWE Title or Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler for the US Title... I could get behind that. It could be a really cool concept, definitely a lot more original than this "let's do a lot of one type of match!" trend. Regardless of what direction they go with Bragging Rights, it's going to take a lot of work to be worse than Hell in a Cell.


  1. It was an alright ppv, even though I'm glad I didn't pay $50 to watch it. I really don't like the way that the WWE is playing hot potato with their world titles, but both matches with decent enough. I felt that dx/legacy was the match of the night, because of the story it told.

  2. I didn't watch the event. I put off my HW to watch Breaking Point, and it was worth it for the most part. I decided to be responsible and do my HW instead of watching today's PPV. Glad I did too. Seems like a lackluster outing. The moment I found out Taker/Punk was the first match, I figured only bad things could come of Hell in a Cell. Way to introduce a new PPV.

  3. ya, was disappointed in general. Made me long for the days when there were maybe 5 or 6 PPV's per year and they were ALL extremely special. Not just generic crappy to mediocre ppv cashcows every 3 weeks :(

  4. Not the worst PPV of the year. I was there live for the show and it came off better to the crowd than it did on TV in my opinion.

    I wasn't a fan of Taker's win but I'm sure Punk'll get it back. Morrison vs. Ziggler was a good match. The crowd just couldn't get into it cause it was placed right after Taker and Punk. It took the crowd a while to get into it but both guys had enough time and told a good story.

    Alicia Fox is not ready for PPV, I agree and I'm glad she's not paralyzed. As for your "smark crowd" comments. People weren't booing Rey, Batista or Cena to be cool. They were booing them because THEY DON'T LIKE THEM. I like Cena actually, but I cannot stand Rey or Batista. I think both are incredibly overrated and while Rey does have talent and can put on good matches. Of course they were gonna boo Rey and Batista. What did these two do to deserve a tag team title match? Nothing. These two are shoved down fans throats just as much as Orton, Cena, Triple H, etc. but at least they actually do something. Batista is dreadful to watch and Rey is the same stale boring underdog character he's been for years. Yes he has some cool moves, but the more I see him lose and actually have people get victories over him then maybe someday I'll change my tune.

    In Cena's case, Cena was gonna get that reaction. NY/NJ doesn't like him and they probably never will. They didn't cheer Orton cause it was cool, they were fans of Randy Orton so they wanted him to win. They even popped for him in the post Legacy promo.

    As for the boring chant with R-Truth and Drew McIntyre, no one in the arena wanted to see it. So why not crap on it? The two minute match wouldn't do anything for McIntyre anyway. I enjoyed the triple threat because I'm a fan of all 3 guys and wished Miz picked up the win but it was fine.

    I was surprised DX vs. Legacy was the main event but I agree it told a good story and had a nice use of the cell. I wish the other matches did use the cell more but I still think the matches were good.

  5. Calling Rey Mysterio "overrated" after he's put on countless fantastic matches this year is laughable.

    As for "why not crap on a match?" it's incredibly disrespectful and it's why people within the industry don't take "smart fans" seriously. The match was 20 seconds in and people shit on it? That's beyond stupid.

  6. I think calling it the "worst PPV" of the year is a little strong. I actually enjoyed it and I thought the Main Event was great.

  7. Calling this the worst PPV of the year was to harsh I think.

    The Tag Team matches were spectacular. Both matches deserve an endless amount of praise. I still don't get the Legacy hate. They might have some trouble on the microphone but their work with DX (and before that even) has been spectacular and I absolutely love their in ring work. If this doesn't get these guys over any, I don't know what will.

    I really found myself enjoying the IC Title match near the end and the US title match in its entirety. I keep thinking Kofi is going to lose and he pulls it out every time. The IC Title match on the other hand was a sort of shocker. Dolph needs to do... something. I don't know what but he needs something drastic to get something back.

    The Cell matches (while I got most of my predictions right) weren't all that bad either. I think Orton/Cena had another good match and the unexpected finish was cool. I still like Orton but I really wish somebody else will step up to the plate and challenge him. MVP or Henry (who has that pinfall on Orton that everybody seems to have forgotten about) is about all that come to my mind right now.

    Alicia nearly killing herself in the ring was bad and I thought her ribs were about to explode onto the camera when it happened.

    McIntrye (who I absolutely love and think will be in the IC Title hunt rather soon) and R-Truth was solid but I agree with you about the crowd Razor. 20 seconds in and your going to chant boring. Fuck you Newark.

    So the worst PPV, I doubt it. Best, not by a long shot, but it falls into the rest of the mediocre PPV's of 2009. I hope Bragging Rights is what everybody saying it's going to be. It will be one of the gimmicked PPV's this year a chance to be fantastic.

  8. I stand by the "worst of 09" statement. There have only been three PPVs I downright hated this year: The Rumble (which kills me, because it's usually my favorite), No Way Out (good wrestling, mind-numbing decisions), and this one. The tag matches were great, I will agree to that, but the rest just didn't do it for me.

    And my Legacy hate comes from the fact that they just bore me. They're Orton Lite, which might be the biggest insult I've ever launched at a wrestler before. DiBiase has potential, but I think Cody and Orton are holding him back.

  9. Well,nice review but you're really too kind.Being a wrestling fan since a long time,I can't watching more such terribles PPV!What the hell the creative team could think?Undertaker,and I'm really sorry to saying that,can't no more be champion,he's really in too bad physical shape.You're right,CM Punk had to keep the belt for a while,to build his character as a major heel of WWE,but it wasn't.Concerning the match...well yeah it was the better HITC of the night,but witout a shadow of the doubt the worst Undertaker has ever made.And here we go:Cena vs Orton...Whatever.It simply deserves anything.Bad contest,bad and boring ten times view rivalry and ????!!! final.Ah!And what to say about DX vs Legacy.Kind of good rivalry,solid matches...until now.The first reason is,yes this match could easily steal the show,becoming an iconic HITC if WWE had just not fall in this boooooring politcal,"for kids".Imagine the future of WWE, againt the most controversial team ever seen on WWE!But...Oh yeah.Micheals and HHH are now just 2 old pretentious clown,just good to enterTain 3 years old Kids...Sorry but where is the old DX?The trash,violent,remorseless team that we used to admire?Gone in fire,when they became "kids' merchandise resellers".And the tag team-match...Yeah HITC...Some ideas were well thinking but what an horrible,boring match it was.Weirdly,it's the others matches that "save" this PPV of a full cataclysm.So,please WWE to your old or not fans,bring back the mess it was.Unless a little of what build WWE over the years,not this sh###y parody.We really need that.And you more than you can think...