Monday, September 28, 2009

Raw Thoughts - September 28, 2009

It's the final Raw before Hell in a Cell, are we sufficiently hyped?

VIP Lounge with MVP & Mark Henry opens the show, MVP attempts to introduce our guest host this evening, but is cut off by the Unified Tag Team Champions, Chris Jericho & Big Show! Jericho isn't pleased with MVP's weak introduction and the two one-up each other to give the proper greeting to Reverend Al Sharpton! Have I mentioned how utterly bizarre this is? Sharpton is unsurprisingly booed, but I have to hang my head in shame a bit when the fans continued to boo the guy for talking about putting aside politics to achieve the goal of education reform. Wrestling fans booing education? Way to keep that stereotype alive, guys. But to be honest, it is weird that of all people to team up for this task, it's Al Sharpton and Newt Gingrich. Liberals hate Gingrich, conservatives hate Sharpton, but let's be honest, regardless of your political affiliation, does anyone actually like either one of those guys? Anyhoo, back on the topic of wrestling, Sharpton gives the fans what they want and makes a Tag Title match between JeriShow and MVP/Mark Henry... right now!

Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. MVP & Mark Henry felt really long. Not a bad match, but we've seen these guys wrestle so many times, and I think there's only so much you can do when half the match involves Mark Henry and Big Show. Still, I'm not going to complain about a 20 minute match on Raw, plus it's great way to keep JeriShow relevant on Raw as they enter a Smackdown feud with Batista & Mysterio. Also gives them an excuse in case they get steamrolled by Cena in the main event later in the evening.

Al Sharpton's backstage with Primo, Santino Marella, Hornswoggle, Chavo Guerrero and Chris Masters. Probably the first and only time that sentence will ever be typed. The latter four have a tag match later tonight, so I guess Chavo was only kidding when he "quit" his feud with Hornswoggle two weeks ago.

Mickie James vs. Rosa Mendes, to borrow a phrase from JR, was bowling shoe ugly. Rosa looked so uncomfortable out there and missed several spots throughout the match. I know WWE's always in a rush to get new eye candy on-screen, but a lot of these Divas are nowhere near ready to be in the ring and I'm worried someone's going to get injured. The current Divas roster is pretty thin as it is (why else would Alicia Fox be getting a title shot?) so I don't know if it's a good idea to push these ladies right in the deep end of the pool. No other way around it, just a bad match.

I liked the segment with Legacy & DX... especially once DX interrupted Cody & Ted. Good verbal sparring though, Triple H calling them the "center part of a butt" might be the line of the year. And like I've been saying since SummerSlam, if Legacy can't catch on after all the work Shawn Michaels & Triple H have done for them, they're a lost cause.

Good, albeit short, match between Jack Swagger & Evan Bourne. I still don't know what to make of Bourne on Raw, he gets destroyed every week, but he continues to look so impressive that I can't help but wonder if something is in store for him down the road. It's not like Swagger just went in there and mauled him, Bourne got some great, innovative offense in there and even had me thinking he might have a shot. I would've loved to see him pick up the win and turn the US Title match on Sunday into a Fatal Four Way, but sadly it was not to be.

After the match, Swagger (still in possession of the US Title) runs his mouth a bit, only to be interrupted by the guy who's mouth runs marathons, The Miz! Miz and Swagger fight, but it's really like watching every frat boy fight you've ever seen, a lot of pushing, shoving and rolling on the ground, but no one actually throws any punches and it's all for show. Kofi Kingston seizes the opportunity and takes his belt back, giving him the momentum heading into another non-one-on-one title match. Seriously, after all this Six-Pack Challenges, Fatal Four Ways and Triple Threats, I want Kofi to win the 2010 Royal Rumble.

Chris Masters & Chavo Guerrero vs. Santino Marella & Hornswoggle was an amusing match, mainly for Santino's antics, but after the match was when things got interesting. For one, Masters won the match for his team after beating Santino with the Masterlock, which breaks Chavo's losing streak! Secondly, Hornswoggle gets trapped in the Masterlock... only to be saved by Chavo! And there it is, the truth comes out, Chavo likes Hornswoggle. Where would Wile E. Coyote be without the Road Runner? Or Tom without Jerry? Every good cartoon villain needs his foil.

Really? Ben Roethlisberger as next week's guest host? Speaking of perpetuating stereotypes, just what wrestling needs, another dumb meathead. Hey WWE, how about someone from a team that actually wins games? May I suggest Chad Ochocinco? He's a born entertainer, who would be infinitely more entertaining than Slothlisberger and would provide us with live Tweets throughout the show! WHO DEY STEELERS?! WHO F'N DEY!?

Al Sharpton backstage again, dancing to some James Brown tunes with the Bella Twins; I have to admit, Al did a pretty good job tonight in his (limited) role. What could've been serious trainwreck television was smooth sailing.

Gauntlet Match time, John Cena vs. Chris Jericho up first, and I'm never really going to complain when these two are in the ring together. One thing though, did anyone else notice Jericho's knee brace tonight? Wonder what the deal is there, hopefully nothing too serious. Throughout this match, I was wondering why Jericho wouldn't just walk out? Why should he care about this match? He's not on Raw and he's got a big Tag Title defense on Sunday, so why bother helping Randy Orton? Jericho had a similar idea, refusing to let go of the Walls of Jericho when Cena was in the ropes and getting himself disqualified. Brilliant! And correct me if I'm wrong, but was Cena tapping out after the ref called for the bell? Wow.

John Cena vs. Big Show up next, pretty standard match between these two, lots of Big Show bearhugs. But just when it looked like Cena was going to turn things around, lifting Big Show up for the Attitude Adjustment (it still blows my mind), Jericho runs in and causes another disqualification! The tag champs assault the WWE Champion for a bit before the final part of the gauntlet...

John Cena vs. Randy Orton - Orton, of course, has to take his sweet ass time getting to the ring. Have you learned nothing, Randy? John Cena's like Wolverine, if you leave him alone for even a couple seconds, he's going to start healing! The two stare each other down in the ring, but then Cena does his best Sabu impression and points up - to the Hell in a Cell! The Cell drops around the ring, Orton tries to escape, but stupidly climbs up to the top! Cena follows... Attitude Adjustment on the top of the Cell! AWESOME! Cena standing tall on top of the HIAC is a very cool visual and the perfect way to end Raw heading into the PPV on Sunday.

By the way, anyone remember the last time anyone went up on the roof of the Cell? I can't remember it happening after Chris Jericho vs. Triple H at Judgment Day 2002, but please correct me if I'm wrong.

Overall, I was pretty pleased with tonight's show. A little light on in-ring action, but that's okay when it hyped up the PPV as well as it did. Al Sharpton was mostly a non-issue, so the show wasn't dragged down by the guest host, something finally changed in the never-ending Chavo/Hornswoggle saga and we got two matches featuring Chris Jericho, which is never a bad thing. My only hope now is that most of the fans next week in Wilkes-Barre, PA are Eagles fans and boo Roethlisberger out of the building.


  1. Hi Razor, it seems wrestle trance has gone.

    Do you know what happened?


  2. Jericho vs Trips was JD 2002, and Lesnar went up top (not part of the match, but still) at No Mercy 2002.

  3. Nice idea on Kofi, this year for the Rumble could potentially be the best since 2004, there's so many talents that could be elevated, there's so many top stars who would elevate stories who could win, this year is wide open but Kofi would be my pick for that concept alone.

    Also, curse your hatred of Alicia Fox, so long as she's not on the offensive for too long she's not so... well... offensive, but therein lies the issue, she's the heel, you can't do a heel challenger in peril, it just doesn't work. Here's to hoping Maryse is back soon.

  4. It's not that I hate Alicia Fox, I just don't think she's ready. She's got a unique look and plays her role well, she just needs more in-ring experience to round it all out.

  5. Yeah, you're not wrong, I'm not sure why Beth Phoenix has remained so far away from the title when she's not doing anything, and since I was away for a few weeks, did they ever follow up the whole Gail/Mickie feud hint?

  6. I think after their disastrous match on Raw a few weeks back, the Mickie/Gail feud was scrapped.