Monday, September 21, 2009

Raw Thoughts - September 21, 2009

Cedric the Entertainer is our guest host this evening... I guess it can't be any worse than Code Name: The Cleaner. Still, that doesn't stop WWE from trying, Ced exits from his limo with the Bella Twins, who are apparently loaned to each week's guest host, and we're subjected to a clown car bit. Old ladies, goats, every cliché you can imagine for a "wild party" scene is used here, but at least Dr. Ken didn't show up.

Luckily, things get back on track with our opening contest, Triple H vs. Cody Rhodes. How weird is it for Triple H to not only be in the first match, but then not be seen for the rest of the night? Good enough match here, Shawn Michaels and Ted DiBiase made things interesting outside the ring as well, but it ended in typical Legacy fashion, lame DQ ending. has it listed as a "no contest," but I'm pretty sure Triple H should've won this one by DQ, considering DiBiase attacked him with a chair. Rhodes hits Cross Rhodes (he's going to break someone's neck with that move one of these days) and DiBiase hits Dream Street before HBK makes the save with a sledgehammer. If Rhodes & DiBiase don't get over after HBK and HHH have bent over backwards to make them look credible, there's no hope for them.

Cedric the Entertainer's out next and made up for the ridiculous limo bit with a pretty funny comedy routine on the WWE Superstars, we even finally got the first on-screen acknowledgment that Mark Henry does look like the Kool-Aid Man in his new red attire. Santino Marella comes out to let "Frederick the Entertainment" know that he's found his calling as a stand-up comedian and makes the segment even more enjoyable. Things take a turn for the worse when Chavo Guerrero interrupts to blame all his losses to Hornswoggle on the guest host and challenges Cedric to a match. Everything falls apart here, Cedric tries to squeeze in a plug for some movie he's directing, Chavo's mic goes out and everything just gets really awkward. But the match is on, Chavo vs. Cedric... oh dear.

Josh Matthews interviews The Miz and asks why he stole the United States Championship. Miz mentions that he deserves it more than Kofi, since he was actually born in America, but c'mon Miz, Cleveland barely counts! Kofi Kingston attacks from behind and takes his belt back.

The Miz vs. Evan Bourne wasn't bad, perfectly acceptable TV match and Miz picks up the win with the Skullcrushing Finale after Bourne missed with the Shooting Star Press. Bummer that Bourne has to lose again, but at least he's not getting demolished out there every week. Still waiting on him to get that United States Title match though, considering he pinned Kofi Kingston over two months ago!

The contract signing with Randy Orton & John Cena was amusing, mainly because it was five minutes of Cena not taking Orton seriously, which is pretty much the same idea I use for reviewing Orton matches! I'm sure Cena's promo made smark heads explode, but considering how lame Orton has been this year, I think it was pretty spot-on. But while Cena had the upper-hand verbally, Orton may have outsmarted him on this one, he apparently hired JeriShow to come beat up Cena, which was of course an open invitation for MVP & Mark Henry to make the save. You don't have to be a wrestling savant to figure out where this went next, six-man tag main event!

I went to get a glass of water during Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix, I actually went as Beth was making her entrance, and by the time I got back, The Glamazon had already won. Seriously. Alicia Fox hit a NASTY scissor kick (Booker T's got nothing on this one) on Mickie James after the match though.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger for the United States Championship up next, and I'm still scratching my head after this one. So The Miz comes ringside to try to steal the US Title back, but Swagger clotheslines him in the aisle and takes the belt for himself, walking out of the match. Uh, Jack... you were kinda in the middle of a United States Title match, you were winning! All-American Dumbass. Seriously, who thought this ending was a good idea? There had to have been a better way to have Swagger steal the belt without forfeiting a match that he was in control of.

Cedric the Entertainer vs. Chavo Guerrero was actually really funny. Cedric put on a luchadore mask and ran under the ring, only for a much larger Cedric to take his place and demolish Chavito. Then a much smaller, much paler Cedric hit the Tadpole Splash and then apparently shape-shifted back to his original Cedric form to score the pin. Easily the best thing they've done in the Hornswoggle/Chavo saga yet, even if it's the feud that will never end. Still, I keep hearing a lot of rumblings about how "Chavo deserves better," but I think a regular role in Raw's lighthearted moment of the week is a pretty good gig. Let's get real, if it weren't for this Hornswoggle storyline, Chavo would be Raw's version of Charlie Haas.

Next week's host is... AL SHARPTON?! This has serious potential to be one of the most bizarre moments in WWE history, but if we're going to open the guest host gig to controversial political figures, can I propose a Steel Cage match between Big Show and Glenn Beck?

A very sweet, very classy send-off for Lilian Garcia, whose last night with WWE was tonight. Lilian's been the voice of Raw for a decade now, it will not be the same without her, but she's moving onto a new chapter in her life and that means moving on from WWE. We'll miss you Lilian, thank you for ten great years!

Side note: to all those dirtsheets that ran that idiotic rumor about WWE trying to "humiliate" Lilian Garcia on national television with the "triple threat" mix-up last week, I expect retractions, you no-talent hacks!

Chris Jericho, Big Show & Randy Orton vs. MVP, Mark Henry & John Cena was your by-the-books WWE six-man-tag main event. Isolate a good guy, stop the tags, hot tag, mayhem ensues, heel steals a win with an out of nowhere finisher while everyone else is brawling outside. The twist in this one, since Orton's team won, Cena has to compete in a 3-on-1 Gauntlet match next week against Orton and the Unified Tag Team Champions. I'm looking forward to Cena and Jericho locking up again, but I suspect serious shenanigans from Orton heading into Hell in a Cell. Sigh... the sooner Cena has some new challengers, the better.

Wasn't all that into Raw this week. Much like Friday's Smackdown, nothing was particularly bad, but the show just felt uneventful. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I feel like I've been watching the same show for months now. Orton vs. Cena, DX vs. Legacy, Jericho & Show vs. MVP and Mark Henry, Chavo vs. Hornswoggle, Santino goofing off, the only thing that changes is the guest host! I can't speak for everyone, but I know I'd like to see more tag teams, different people in the main event scene, and a bigger focus on Kofi Kingston and his challengers. The guest host concept has done a good job of keeping my interest from week-to-week, but just like with Saturday Night Live, one celebrity can't carry an entire season.


  1. I may not have seen RAW yet (Airs in about 25 hours here lol) but I can tell you now I want more Evan Bourne! And I want him winning.

    US title please :D

    I will be watching RAW tomorrow whilst getting ready for my formal (prom) so I figured I should check this out early since I'll probably miss a lot of the last match or so.

    But I'll definitely keep my eye out for Evan :D (And Beth, because I have a crush on Beth Phoenix, I kid you not.)

    Oh and I'm already feeling better than I was last time I commented but unfortunately I'm still sick :(
    Hope all is well with you though Razor.

  2. Feel better Anneliese! Thanks for visiting while you're convalescing!

  3. Ugh. Had a somewhat lengthy comment on Evan Bourne but it seems Blogger ate it. Quick summary:
    Don't know why he was moved from ECW where he was showcased to Raw where he seems to be an afterthought in short matches.
    Should have gone to SmackDown if he had to be moved as their midcard guys get more time to have matches.
    Sad to see him losing the momentum he'd built on ECW.

  4. Hey Razor,

    did you know that the link named Kickout Radio Episode 1 actually takes you to episode 2.

    Just wanted to tell you.

  5. Anonymous - Thanks for the heads up.

  6. It's like Legacy has the power to determine match finishes- illegal man attacks you= no contest. You hit that illegal man- you are disqualified. Should we start calling it "Cody booking"? Also Cedric looked lost out there, trying to remember what his next line was to set up the Big Show joke, and the photoshop on Miz was so terrible it reminded me of one of Ken Kennedy's awful video-assisted promos. Also while I agree with you that there's a lot of "same old, same old," Mark Henry and MVP are working main event matches (and are actually getting reactions) and Legacy is getting over as something other than midcard flunkies, so it's not like there hasn't been any upward mobility.