Monday, September 7, 2009

The Five Count - September 7, 2009

Been awhile since I've done a Five Count... it just keeps slipping my mind every week. But here we go, a special Labor Day edition of the coolest things in wrestling in convenient list form!

5. The World's Biggest Abdominal Stretch
If you're fortunate enough to have a cable/satellite provider that offers HDNet, I sure hope you caught last week's episode of Ring of Honor. It wasn't a particularly good show, but the main event was so fun, it more than made up for a lackluster program. The highlight of the match being the Abdominal Stretch heard round the world! If you missed it, the heels were cheating, assisting with Claudio Costagnoli's abdominal stretch by giving him extra leverage on the apron, but when the tables were turned, Team Cabana didn't just use extra leverage on the apron... they used the entire front row!

4. The Shockmaster Lives!
Santino Marella dressed as The Shockmaster would've been funny enough, but they took it one step further and had Arn Anderson do the voiceover. In case you weren't around for the original Shockmaster, Ole Anderson did the voiceover, using the same horrible distortion effect that was used during the infamous Black Scorpion storyline. Oh WCW... I really do miss you sometimes.


3. Nigel McGuinness joins WWE
According to Nigel himself, there are still some things that need to be worked out in his contract, "i's dotted and t's crossed," as he put it, but it's still huge news. Last week, the big news was Bryan Danielson, arguably the greatest wrestler in the world today, signing with WWE, but I honestly think Nigel may be a bigger deal. And that's not to take anything away from Danielson, but there's just something about Nigel that's always struck me as a WWE Superstar. He's got the look, the demeanor, the mic skills and the ability to work that style that made me wonder not if, but when he would make it to WWE. That day has finally come and I can't wait to see him show up on Raw, Smackdown or ECW.

2. CM Hardy
I'm not sure if I've ever seen a crowd turn from cheers to boos as quickly as they did when it appeared Jeff Hardy was coming to the ring, but it was actually CM Punk in full Hardy garb, facepaint and all. While WWE cut to images of disappointed fans in the audience (seriously, those alone might be the comedy moment of the year), CM Punk cut one of the greatest promos of his career and solidified his status as King Jerkface.

1. John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio
Were you expecting anything else? A lot of people (myself included) have been talking about this being the non-PPV Match of the Year, but I'm not sure if you even need the "non-PPV" part. This match was so good, it deserves to stand alongside the fantastic matches of 2009, regardless of whether or not it was on TV or PPV. It didn't eclipse Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, but it certainly deserves a place alongside Edge vs. John Cena from Backlash, Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho from The Bash, and Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk from SummerSlam in the running for Match of the Year.

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