Monday, September 21, 2009

The Five Count - September 21, 2009

5. "Buckle Up, Teddy."
Yeah, the whole segment looked like a low-budget porn and it's one of those things I would be embarrassed to show to a non-wrestling fan, but it was just so ridiculous, I couldn't help but enjoy it. It's something straight out of a bad horror sequel, Freddy Krueger could've just as easily replaced The Undertaker and Teddy Long's part could've been played by a large-breasted 20-year-old or a dude in his 30s pretending to be a high school student (he's got a letterman jacket on, what more do you want!?) and it would've fit right in. So as a fan of stupid horror movies and pro wrestling, this segment was at least amusing, but let's not overdo it.

4. Davetista returns to Smackdown!
In a bit of a surprising move, The Animal has returned to Friday Nights, presumably to fill the void left by Jeff Hardy's departure. And with rumors about Undertaker's health going around, the Blue Brand desperately needs a top face, especially with Edge & Rey Mysterio on the sidelines. That said, don't put too much stock into The Undertaker rumors, it's just that time of year, I think "this year" has been the rumored retirement for Undertaker since 2004, so take that into consideration. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if Batista hung up the boots before Taker, which is why I see his move to Smackdown as more of a band-aid than anything else.

3. The Week of Woo, Woo, Woo!
Zack Ryder had one hell of a week, didn't he? First, he goes out and puts on a tremendous match with Yoshi Tatsu, definitely Yoshi's best match yet and one of Ryder's best as well, second only to his encounter with Christian a few weeks back. Later in that same evening, Ryder shocks the WWE Universe by winning a 10-man Battle Royal to become the new #1 Contender for the ECW Championship! But the man from Strong Island wasn't done there, Ryder went onto Superstars on Thursday night and provided one of the best guest commentaries in recent memory. This was definitely the breakout week for Mr. Woo Woo Woo... you know it.

2. Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 roster revealed
I haven't had many opportunities to talk video games since I started Kick-Out!! Wrestling, but I finally have a chance thanks to the new WWE game, which will be released in less than a month. The last few years, SvR titles have ranged from "pretty good" to "incredibly disappointing," but there's a lot of buzz for 2010. With features like Create-a-Storyline, new Road to WrestleMania storylines and the ability to download other people's created Superstars, this could be the year that changes everything. The roster was revealed late last week and it's one of the best ever, only a few minor omissions (Zack Ryder, Hart Dynasty, Paul Burchill), but with the improved Create-a-Superstar and the potential for downloadable content (and maybe secret unlockables?), those are minor problems.

1. Christian vs. Paul Burchill
Quick question, has Christian had a bad match since his return? An average match? Anything less than good? I know it's a bit crazy to say when Chris Jericho has been tearing it up in WWE for almost two years now, but I'm beginning to think that Christian is the best in-ring performer in WWE today. I've always liked Christian and always enjoyed his work, but I don't remember him ever being this good in TNA or in his previous run with WWE. After being noticeably absent from ECW, Captain Charisma returned to Superstars and put on another fantastic match with another guy who has dramatically improved, Paul Burchill. Even though Burchill rarely wins a match, he could easily be considered a contender to Christian's ECW Title at any time, they have great chemistry and the brand's unique dynamic makes anyone just one big win away from becoming a believable threat... just ask Zack Ryder.

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