Monday, August 24, 2009

Raw Thoughts - August 24, 2009

Extreme close-up! Whoooaaaaa! Raw begins with an absurdly close shot of Randy Orton's face... hey I thought it was Raw is War, not Raw is Pores! Randy babbles on about last night, admits that Ted Dibiase's brother Brett - who looks like a huge dork - was the "fan" who attacked the referee. I find it odd that Orton says Brett bought a ticket to see SummerSlam... really, Ted makes his own brother buy his tickets? What a jerk.

Wow, the Vince McMahon Birthday Bash was loooooooooong. I don't think I've seen an awkward segment drag on like this since Mick Foley played "This Is Your Life" with The Rock (still the highest rated wrestling segment of all-time, which is just weird). Anyway, there were some amusing moments in what I assume was a joke on Vince from Triple H & creative, but it really could've been contained to ten or even fifteen minutes. This went on for almost 25% of the entire show! Vince did announce Cena vs. Orton in an I Quit Match at Breaking Point and set up the main event, DX & Vinny Mac vs. Legacy.

The Miz vs. Santino Marella was short and sweet. Some fun spots from Santino, but Miz was all business and ended this one quickly. No sign of Kofi Kingston tonight, but Miz once again put him on notice. I have a feeling that United States gold will be around Miz's waist in about three weeks.

Beth Phoenix, Rosa Mendes & Alicia Fox vs. Mickie James, Gail Kim & Kelly Kelly up next in "Mayweather Melee," which is a match where the Divas are dressed in boxing attire. Yep, that's pretty much the premise of this whole thing. Alicia Fox (wearing Apollo Creed's shorts), inexplicably picks up the pin over Mickie James. I really hope this doesn't mean Fox is in line for a Diva's Title shot, she's still got a long way to go before she's ready for that.

Okay, the JeriShow/Mayweather segment was awesome. Obviously there's built-in history there with what went down at WM24, so everything gelled perfectly tonight. Jericho was hilarious, Mayweather's entire entrance and persona is ridiculously over the top, and the crowd was ready for whatever was going to go down. Surprisingly, MVP made an appearance and delivered what was undoubtedly his greatest promo ever, going from a dead crowd last night to getting one of the biggest reactions of the evening just 24 hours later. MVP asked if he could beat the champs tonight, could he get a shot at the titles at Breaking Point. Mayweather granted the match and asked who MVP had in mind for a partner... it's Mark Henry!

Mark Henry & MVP vs. Chris Jericho & Big Show
was easily the highlight of the night. Lots of fun here, Jericho & Show continued to demonstrate why they're the best tag team WWE has seen in years. The champs had to take the loss here tonight though and I'm stoked about the prospect of this match on a much bigger stage. Loved the tribute to Mania 24 with Mayweather giving MVP the brass knuckles, very fitting conclusion.
It's funny how quickly you can make the tag division exciting if you just give it some attention... but that's how awesome Chris Jericho is; in just two short months, he saved tag team wrestling in WWE.

Just two more quick tidbits about Jericho's greatness. One - saying Big Show is his friend in that signature delivery of his, hysterical. Two - being carried out on Show's shoulder like the guy who had too much to drink. Can we just make it a permanent thing that Jericho gets to be on every show regardless of whether or not he's a tag champ?

Hey, finally a point to the never-ending Hornswoggle/Chavo Guerrero saga - Evan Bourne! Bourne came to Horny's rescue after Chavo ended their boxing match Roddy Piper style. Mayweather should try that in his upcoming fight. Bourne/Chavo isn't exactly going to light the wrestling world on fire, but it should be a nice little feud to re-establish Bourne on Raw.

DX & Vince McMahon vs. Legacy wasn't all that great, but the crowd was into it and we finally got a John Cena appearance at the end of the show. Loved the Superkick into the Attitude Adjustment, but not as much as I loved watching Randy Orton get pinned by a 64-year-old man in the center of the ring. That's what happens when you cheat, Randy! Also, I don't know what it is, but there's just something about seeing Triple H and Shawn Michaels do the whole DX thing that always makes everything just a bit more entertaining. Probably pure nostalgia, but I can't help it, I'm a total nerd for it.

Looking back, this was actually a pretty terrible Raw, but for some reason, I still enjoyed it. Perhaps it was a "you had to be there" kinda thing. I was having fun watching it, but the only thing that I would say was great television was the whole ordeal with MVP, Mark Henry, Jericho, Big Show, Mayweather, and his entourage, which I think may have been half the population of Vegas. Dude's got a lot of dudes... just sayin. Anyhoo, found it a little odd that they didn't announce a guest host for next week, maybe it'll be a surprise! If it is going to be a mystery guest, I'm guessing it'll be someone from within the world of wrestling, they won't grab mainstream media attention anyway, so why not build some suspense? Here, I'll help next week, Monday Night Raw is in Detroit, why not call up someone who could be considered Mr. Monday Night? Perhaps he could control the whole "Dam" show?

That oughta get the dirtsheets buzzing.


  1. Look, I know you want "Dam Animal" George Steele to guest, Razor, but I don't know if them dirtsheets will buzz over that!

    Also, that MVP segment will get the watch and re-watch treatment. How a man like him got so...wasted is inexplicable, and at least they're giving him a great chance to shine with Jericho and the Henry/MVP team of Ballin' Strong will be fine fine stuff.

  2. If they were TV-14, you know Henry/MVP would be called The World's Strongest Balls.

  3. And there's another reason why I can deal with PG.

    No silly childish names!

  4. Dan 'The RVD Mark'August 25, 2009 at 3:09 AM

    ROB VAN DAM!!!!!

    *Goes to spread dirtsheet rumours*

    Well, with all the coincidences that surround your thoughts, it may just happen...

  5. I don't know what it was about it, but something about Mayweather's zombie army of walking advertisements cracked me up somethin' fierce.

    Also, now that you've run a contest with WGN, we can probably officially call you "a source close to WWE." That should be sufficient cred to allow this RVD "rumor" (IT ISN'T, GUYS, IT'S REAL REAL REAL) to spread. <_<

  6. I missed about two episodes of Raw, so this was my first time seeing Miz with his new attire. I get that he's supposed to look like he's taking the whole wrestling thing more seriously now, but I can't help but feel that his old attire just looked better on him. It's not much of a problem, though. The guy's still got talent, and that's what really matters.

    I actually enjoyed the Diva tag match. Maybe because it didn't drag on for too long, and they did do some interesting stuff in there. Alicia Fox has still got a long road ahead of her before she can even begin trying to get into the title hunt.

    Jericho & Show vs. Henry & MVP was great. My favorite match of the night. Mayweather annoyed me a bit with his constant yelling, but that didn't take anything away from the match. Seeing these two teams collide at Breaking Point is going to be awesome. It's so good to see that the Tag Team Titles are actually relevant again. Unifying the belts was the best thing WWE could have done for that division.

    DX teaming with McMahon was very interesting, especially considering their past. The match wasn't amazing, but it made sense, and it was decent.

    I wonder what's in store for next week's Raw...

  7. I think the new look is going to be better for Miz in the long run. One, it does make him look more serious and two, he looks a lot leaner.

    And I think WWE said some details about next week's Raw would be out tomorrow at 4:20.

    (still waiting to see if anyone will take the bait)

  8. well if you were to believe the dirt sheets about mickie getting bitched out for the awful match the week before, i'd guess the fox pin was just a little more punishment