Monday, August 10, 2009

Raw Thoughts - August 10, 2009

Well, it can't be worse than last week, right? Just as a heads up, I was having all sorts of trouble with my cable tonight, so I missed a few things. If you would be kind enough to fill in the blanks with your comments on the show, I'd really appreciate it.

Show starts off with "The Fun Killer" Randy Orton, thankfully already in the ring so we don't have to sit through his entrance, which usually takes up 6% of an entire show. Orton cuts his typical promo and luckily for us, John Cena hits the ring and calls him out on it. Cena's really angry and laying into Orton, which is always going to make me smile, but then things get really interesting when Chris Jericho & Big Show make an appearance. Remember, no matter bad Raw gets, WWE had the good sense to give Chris Jericho a title that allows him to appear on every show, so clearly someone knows what they're doing. Calgary is red hot for Jericho (no surprise there) and we're going to see him take on John Cena in the main event (yay!); Big Show vs. Randy Orton is set up as well (boo!)

Gail Kim vs. Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix vs. Alicia Fox was the first time my cable froze on me this evening, so I was unable to see anything in this match after the series of roll-up pins. Cable came back right as the replay was airing with Gail hitting her finisher, but I'm thrilled she won. Gail vs. Mickie should be an excellent match.

Sgt. Slaughter goes heel on Canada?! Brilliant! However, what wasn't brilliant was not having Sarge do anything of value until the very end of the show. The Jillian bit was hideous, the Hitman/Hacksaw switcheroo was amusing, but that's it? Dr. Ken was in every other segment last week, but Sgt. Slaughter is used as filler? Lame!

Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger was criminally short (again) and sadly Bourne took another clean loss. Luckily he got some sweet offense in, but Swagger dominated and hit a nasty Gutwrench Powerbomb, I feel like that move is a concussion waiting to happen. MVP arrives after the match to shut up a bloody-mouthed Swagger by shoving him directly on his ass. Looks like they could be fighting next week, but I have no idea why they're not saving this one for SummerSlam.

"Calgary Kid" vs. Eugene (!!!) was... AWESOME! Even if it's utterly absurd to go through all that nonsense last week, only to erase it seven days later, I'm glad that The Miz isn't going anywhere. And is it just me, or did Miz look like he lost about ten pounds in the last week? I honestly didn't recognize him until he hit The Breakdown and took off the mask. And Miz, as thrilled as I am that you're back, I hope you'll lose the trunks and go back to the long shorts... please.

Randy Orton vs. Big Show was pretty much exactly what I expected, Big Show demolishing him and then the WWE Champion runs away. I really hope Cena wins at SummerSlam because at this point, I don't believe that Orton could beat anybody.

My cable froze again as soon as MVP was making his entrance to face Chris Masters. I saw none of this match, but according to, MVP picked up a clean win and Jack Swagger interfered afterward.

Okay, so apparently the internets are abuzz about the ridiculous segments between Triple H & Chef Shawn. To be perfectly honest, lighten up. Yes, the idea of Shawn Hickenbottom (hahahaha) working at an office cafeteria makes no sense after just winning all that money from JBL, and the segments were completely stupid, but they were supposed to be. This is the modern DX, a live-action cartoon; Triple H is the cool guy, and Shawn's the doofus. Plus, we got to see Shawn reference "SummerFest," Superkick his boss (what a great actor that guy was), an old lady say "suck it!" and then Shawn Superkick a bratty little girl. That's funny! Besides, all that really matters is that Shawn Michaels will be back in a WWE ring in 13 days.

Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase vs. Mark Henry & Hornswoggle was awful, but I find it funny that people are legitimately upset about Shawn Michaels fake kicking a little girl off-screen, but no one seems to mind Ted DiBiase legitimately throwing around a 4'4" dwarf. Anyway, Legacy cuts a promo after the match about how they're going to beat DX at the PPV and it's hard to even type that sentence without laughing. Oh you two are SO getting buried at SummerSlam and I can't wait to see it. That alone is worth the $40!

Freddie Prinze Jr. is hosting Raw next week? I know he's a big WWE fan and was even on the creative team for awhile, but they do know he's going to get booed out of the building, right? Prinze seems like a genuinely cool guy, but I don't know if the WWE demographic is going to be that thrilled about the star of She's All That showing up on Raw. Maybe he'll turn heel like Slaughter and Piven?

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho was not as good as I had hoped for, but I blame it on Raw running short on time and "The Fun Killer" causing the DQ. Jericho gets in Orton's face, Orton tosses Jericho out of the ring, Big Show comes out and beats him down. Sgt. Slaughter finally does something on the show and sets up Cena/Orton vs. JeriShow next week, which is pretty much exactly what they did last year before SummerSlam when Cena & Batista beat Legacy for the Tag Titles. Cena & Orton toss Show out of the ring and then hit Jericho with the RKO Adjustment, which literally made me gasp as I watched it. Luckily Jericho was moving his legs, but I hope he's okay, because that was one of the nastiest things I've ever seen.

Overall, fairly lame Raw, but miles ahead of last week. It makes no sense to me how a show can have seven matches, yet I feel like nothing happened, and that's not good with only one Raw to go before SummerSlam. Look at the SS card right now, only two Raw matches, and surprise, surprise, they both feature Orton, Cena and Triple H. No Kofi Kingston (US Champ), Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, MVP, Mark Henry, or Carlito; are we just giving up on the idea of Raw having anything besides a main event scene? Smackdown looks great and I'm sure ECW will set up its one match this week, but I really don't understand what the deal is with Raw. Is that supposed to be the direction of the brand, the main eventers and their associates with a bit of background noise in between?

On the flipside of this, I'm seeing more Chicken Littles out there with their "sky is falling" mentality, like tonight's Raw was some horrific show and a sign that WWE is in peril. This was hardly the worst Raw ever, it wasn't even the worst Raw this month, it was just... there. Seriously Internet Wrestling Community, I know I have a tendency to exaggerate, but you're taking it to a whole new level. Calm down, breathe into a paper bag or something, you're not helping WWE get any better. When you act like every show is a crime against humanity, no one's going to take your complaints seriously because you sound like a crazy person.

I'm definitely thrilled that HBK is getting back in the ring and that The Miz still has a place to be awesome, but hopefully next week's Raw will be better. I expect more from the flagship brand of WWE.


  1. Dude, the midget is a wrestler. He wanted to get tagged in the match and it's high time he got what was coming to him, a "fair fight" instead of yet another last-minute rule switcheroo.

    Life's not all fun & games, dammit, you shouldn't tag your 4'4" self into a match against a 6'2" 250lb+ professional wrestler if you don't want him to drop you on your head.

    Speaking of headdrops, holy shit Jericho got spiked on the newly-dubbed FKO.

  2. Basically, the women's match was the women really really attempting some things. Some, like a massive set of nearfalls and an amazing spot of Beth lifting two of the women turning into a poor looking knockdown, were wretched. Others, like Gail's cool moves, were damn cool.

    Also, I only caught the first hour, but my god, I was massively entertained. Sarge was a great heel and EVERY TIME the crowd bought into what he was doing next, which I view as a success. He also DID do "something" of value in making next week's main event.

    I need to watch the second hour, but I thought that Raw with a touch of surreality is a good idea, actually. It gets that feeling of not knowing what the hell's going on, but not overly so.

    Also, there was definite emphasis on BUILDING TWO MATCHES FOR ONCE. (Swagger/MVP II, Tag champs vs. Opposing forces) Mind you, they're for next week, but after last week where nothing of consequence was built up, my god, they have to start somewhere.

  3. I didn't think Swagger said he wrestling MVP next week, I thought he simply said he would answer MVP next week?

    And honestly, whose to say Swagger won't slither out of the match, or it won't be a non-finish, leading to another match at Summerslam? That's what I honestly see happening

  4. Hope so. I think Swagger/MVP would be a solid addition to the SummerSlam card. Now if only Kofi Kingston could get a match, Raw would be set. There's still time, hopefully next week smooths things out.

  5. Found this on another board; thoughts, Razor?
    "I'm not looking forward to DX vs. Legacy, which setup tonight by establishing the latter group as a threat by beating Hornswoggle, and the former as being so inept they can't make burgers."

  6. Well if someone's basing their entire opinion on DX around a single comedy segment while ignoring the fact that it's Triple H and Shawn freaking Michaels, then they're a doofus.

    Not taking Legacy seriously is understandable since they've never been presented as anything but jobbers since hooking up with Orton, but the match at SummerSlam isn't about them. If you're going into SummerSlam expecting a competitive match between Legacy and DX, you probably haven't been watching long. Legacy's role in this match is no different than the Spirit Squad's role at Vengeance 2006, fodder for the DX reunion.

  7. Razor, I've been enjoying your positive brand of wrestling news since I found this blog a couple of months ago, but honestly, man, that Shawn Michaels stuff killed me (even though I loved the reference to his real name). I mean ok, sure, they're a comedy team, they shill merchandise etc, but I was a HUGE Shawn Michaels fan as a kid and though it's nostalgically awesome to see him still're gonna make my hero a chef??

    While I agree with your above comment that YOU can't base the matchup at Summerslam on a comedy segment and a little-person match, imagine if you tuned in last week or this week for the first time? Would you WANT to see these guys fight at the PPV based off of that? If the answer is honestly yes, cool, but if the answer is NO, then WWE missed the mark on making new fans, which is the point of ANY show.

  8. John Cena acting angry doesn't work. Too much happy fun time stuff for too long to make it believeable. Then of course within minutes he was making jokes about Big Show's breath.

  9. SMC, I don't think the point of every show should always be to make new fan. Honestly, what are the odds that many people tuned in last night for the first time ever with absolutely no knowledge of wrestling?

    I thought the segments were silly, but harmless. It'll be completely forgotten once HBK steps in the ring.

  10. I'm so dissapointed with raw again the DX segments were shockingly bad the best match prospect got 5 mins with evan and jack I really hope that next weeks raw can start picking up because it's starting to get boring in all honestly I really hope they start giving there wrestlers some time

    I wasn't sure if you were awear that last week the total time of the goods promos and ads lasted longer than evan vs jack which makes the guest host idea a bit pointless if it's having that kind of effect but that's the only time it's been that bad
    so let's hope it's a 1 time thing

    O I really hope they start doing show specific ppvs so they can give sometime and exposure to some different people

  11. Okay, there's so much I could say but... just one little thing...

    Whenever I see Cena getting angry at Orton and getting in his face, I can't help but giggle.
    I mean, Cena, on his own is such a big guy that you feel sorta like he's bigger than everyone- and then he gets in Orton's face and I realise he's shorter...
    Well I can't help but giggle.

    I really shouldn't, considering I'm like... a foot shorter than Cena but you know.

    Oh and my other issue, I wanted Evan Bourne to win so badly. Being little myself I'm a fan of the high flyers and I just love Evan (He looks like one of the PE teachers at my high school, actually) so I tend to cheer him over most people lol.
    Next time... right?