Monday, August 10, 2009

Hulk Hogan Farewell Tour

Brooke Hogan recently did an interview where she claims that WWE has a spot waiting for her if she ever decides to get in the ring. Brooke says it's not really her thing, but judging by her latest album sales, she may want to at least consider it; besides, I wouldn't be surprised if the wrestling business is less sleazy than the music business. Anyway, I bring up this Brooke interview because the big headline is that she indicates her father is not done wrestling. This comment gained even more traction when a report came out today that Hulk Hogan recently had laser surgery on his spine in order to better his chances of an in-ring return.

So it would appear that the Hulkster is making a comeback, or at least he wants to make one. We all know Hogan has a tendency to talk big about his future, usually to get someone's attention, but I think in this case, Vince McMahon needs to take notice. If this is indeed Hogan's last run, it has to happen in World Wrestling Entertainment. This is Hulk Hogan we're talking about, if there's any other wrestler that should get a Ric Flair-style send-off, surely it's him.

I'm going to lose what little smark cred I have left, but here's a little secret about me, I am the world's biggest Hulk Hogan fan. Okay, maybe not the world's biggest, I'm not like that dude that has Hogan's portrait tattooed on his back, but Hogan is probably my favorite wrestler of all-time. I'm sure a lot of it is nostalgia, when I started watching wrestling as a lil' Razor, Hulkamania was all the rage and I was all about training, saying my prayers, taking my vitamins and believing in myself! Today, I only take my vitamins, but I like to thank the Hulkster for the advice. Despite all the negative things you can say about Hogan - he was never that great of a wrestler, he hogged the spotlight, he played politics, the last few years have shown he might even be a little insane - I honestly don't care. Hulk is Hulk, and to me, that's all that matters, he could show up on Raw tonight and steamroll half the roster and I wouldn't bat an eye. Yes, I am an unapologetic Hogan mark.

There's only way to end this storied career, and that's WrestleMania. Not to do any armchair booking, but I think the best course of action would be Hulk Hogan vs. John Cena; doesn't even need the drama of the Ric Flair "career threatening" storyline, just have Hogan going into the match saying it will be his last... win, lose or draw. Obviously Cena should win, but gives Hogan the spotlight to say goodbye to the fans as only Hulk Hogan can, the signature poses. I'll leave the build-up to WWE, but really, is there any other way to close the book on Hogan's career than a match with the biggest star in the industry today? It's pretty much the only remaining "dream match" that could potentially happen and putting those two in the ring together would redefine the term "epic."

I don't know what the future holds for "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan, but after everything the man has done to change the world of professional wrestling and define the concept of sports entertainment, I know he deserves one more run. Hulk's been talking about hanging up the boots for twenty years now, but if this is it,
only WWE's hype machine could do it justice.


  1. fantastic article. bravo to you sir, hulk hogan is one of the most iconic names in wrestling, and no matter what age you are, you know who hulk hogan is.

    cena-hogan would be "epic" as you put it.

  2. I agree..I'd watch that Cena vs. Hogan match. Smarks were complaining about Hogan's inability to wrestle back when he faced The Rock at 'Mania and he got the biggest pop of the night. It just goes to show something that I still can't believe these "raw sucked b*lls" last night commentators still don't realize: Vince McMahon doesn't give a damn what you think, nor should he. WWE has a global internet of millions of kids and adults who will watch wrestling for their entire lives. And even though you complain about it, so will you, "smart" fans.

    Sorry to rant!

  3. Hey, a rant is always appreciated.

    The thing that always confused me when people talk about Hogan vs. The Rock, it's always "well it wasn't a good match, but it was awesome to watch." Well, that is a good match. It doesn't have to be 25 minutes of chain wrestling, if a match has you interested, then it's doing its job.

    Hogan is a master at working the crowd and he's managed to do it for over 30 years with few changes to his shtick. Without question, he is the wrestling equivalent of The Rolling Stones.

  4. Agreed...and the Rolling Stones can still sell out stadiums at will. As can Bruce Springstein, or Metallica, or Michael Jackson before his death, or ANY nostalgia act. I wasn't QUITE watching wrestling when Hulkamania was running wild, so I personally don't have the nostalgia for Hogan, but he is the ONE wrestler that everybody knows. I do doubt though, that they would actually put him in a match with John Cena as they'd probably want to use him for something better.