Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Five Count - July 12, 2009

Very interesting week for wrestling and I believe this week's Five Count will be the first time something non-WWE is #1... what is it? Keep on reading.

5. Ted DiBiase steals the show
Money, money, money, money, money, mo-neeeeeeeeeeey! We haven't seen Ted go into full-on Million Dollar Man mode in quite some time, but after watching him on Raw, you'd think he does this every week. The elder DiBiase hasn't lost a step and the nostalgia trip was a blast with the theme music, the signature laugh and of course, the Million Dollar Belt. As far as this WWE fan is concerned, Ted's welcome on Raw any time.

4. Jericho vs. Miz - The Tweetwar!
Who knew watching two grown men trade schoolyard insults on Twitter could be so amusing. Jericho and Miz have spent the last seven days mocking each other on the social networking site, usually with Jericho dominating, but Miz (who is still AWESOME, btw) got a few zingers in as well. I think Jericho finally finished it off with this:
I just saw a movie that has nothing to do with your life. It's called The Wrestler."

3. CM Punk tells Jeff Hardy to go to Walgreens
Speaking of "oh snap!" moments, "
Now Jeff, I know you know a lot about prescription medication but, see, to get this legally you have to get it from a doctor." Oh yeah, he went there, all that's left now is "straight-edge means I'm better than you!" and we could have ourselves a full-on CM Punk heel turn. But I mentioned this in my Smackdown review, the mark of a great heel is when he has a point and CM Punk certainly does, I'm finding myself sympathizing with him every week. Much like Chris Jericho's slow turn against Shawn Michaels last year, CM Punk's statements are 100% accurate, it's just the method of delivery is getting a bit more scathing each time he grabs a mic.

2. Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio... again
How many times have these two wrestled this year now, five? Five matches since May and each one feels completely unique and special. It's not supposed to look this easy, but Jericho and Mysterio tear the house down each and every time while other main event feuds struggle to make one rematch even seem interesting. This match wasn't as good as their encounter at The Bash (I'm not sure anything else this year will top that one), but it's still easily the Match of the Week and another instant classic that will go down as one of the greatest matches in Smackdown history.

1. Brock Lesnar tenderizes Frank Mir's face
Our first ever MMA entry in The Five Count is this week's #1 story, and honestly, why wouldn't it be? At arguably the biggest PPV in UFC history, Brock Lesnar avenged his one loss by absolutely dominating Frank Mir and knocking him out in the second round. What followed has been the talk of the sports and wrestling media, Lesnar's antics on the microphone where he ran down Budweiser, buried Mir and announced that he was going to "get on top of his wife," former WWE Diva, Sable. Lesnar has since apologized for his behavior, but let's be honest, when Brock acts like that, Dana White puts on the serious face in public, then laughs all the way to the bank.

I'll have more on Brock Lesnar's huge title defense this week on Episode 7 of Kick-Out!! Radio, what it means for UFC & WWE, and the hilarity of MMA purists who hate wrestling, but are getting worked just like wrestling fans whenever Brock Lesnar is on PPV. Also, be on the lookout for a column later this week about how Brock Lesnar and UFC could affect the future of TNA.


  1. This is my kind of reading :) As a friend put it, "Frank Mir's face looked like a melted cabbage patch doll."

  2. DAMN DAMN DAMN. I went all week without seeing the results for UFC 100 main event Zero, and now...? :( Curses. Ah well.

    I'd just like to say that your blog is by far the most helpful website I know off when it comes to catching back up with WWE and checking to see if a show is worth watching or not.

  3. Sorry TKz! Although I'm impressed you made it this far considering how it's been all over every major sports page.

  4. Well I was in Turkey last week, it's like those guys learned how to build a swimming pool and Air Conditioning and then decided to leave it at that >_> good cocktails though.

    I've seen the fight now and damn, that was awesome. Loved the "promo" afterwards and the bit about coors light, something tells me Lesnar misses the entertainment part of wrestling. :) Also thought the fans booing him and Lesnar going "Come on, keep it coming, I love it!" was brilliant.

  5. Yeah, I'll be talking about that tomorrow on Kick-Out!! Radio.