Monday, June 8, 2009

Kick-Out's Raw Thoughts - June 8, 2009

Big surprises last night at the PPV, but not necessarily good ones for Raw. Can the flagship brand manage to crawl out of the abyss and put on the first good show since the Draft?

Batista kicks things off and unsurprisingly interrupted by Randy Orton, who takes five minutes to walk five feet, but oh it's a Legacy ambush! I'm shocked, SHOCKED I say! Pretty brutal attack on Batista's arm, I suppose the bicep injury is legit because they're really hammering this one home.

Kofi Kingston vs. William Regal was criminally short, but hopefully there's more to come from these two. Not good or bad, just the kind of match you'd expect to see on Raw if it were 1999.

Randy Orton, I don't think that's how rematch clauses work, it's not Money in the Bank. But I suppose with Vickie Guerrero as GM, you can make things work however you want. I'm sure she's still not too happy about that time Batista threw her over the top rope.

Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly was okay for what it was, but what the hell was Mickie James wearing? It looked like she had a big blue garbage bag on. Probably something she picked up on that Divas episode of Project Runway... not that I watch that show or anything... seriously! I don't! I'm manly and drink beer and watch Spike TV! I swear!

!!! WWE teamed Hornswoggle, Goldust and Festus! I can't believe it! Goldy and the Corn-fed Colossus teamed up with Santino to take on Chavo Guerrero, Jamie Noble and The Brian Kendrick, and it was a fun little match, nothing special though. Although if Chavo, Noble and Kendrick keep this up, they might need to call Al Snow and reform the J-O-B Squad.

Miz - 7, Cena - 0. Oh and Miz - 1, Big Show - 0. The Miz, once again, for somewhere around the seventh week in a row, was the highlight of Monday Night Raw. But really, we're still doing Cena vs. Big Show? REALLY!? You gotta be kidding me! Big Show, buddy, just give it up already, you never beat John Cena, it's time to let it go.

MVP's gunning for the WWE Title as I expected, but I'm not exactly sure where he's going to fit into this dynamic. Another loss for Matt Hardy though, this guy can't seem to catch a break. Maybe once the hand heals?

Only in wrestling can someone get cheered for verbally abusing their wife in front of millions of viewers. I know Vickie's evil and all that, but that was just uncomfortable, and I love Edge, but I was not a fan of this at all. Just way too much and way too awkward, even for wrestling. All that in mind, Vickie still cut a better promo tonight than Orton has in months, just saying. But Vickie's out as GM? Interesting. Also interesting that Raw happens to be in Charlotte, North Carolina next week... Hmmm.

Carlito & Primo vs. Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes was painfully boring. And The Colóns have been putting on great matches lately, so I don't think it was their fault. Why should anyone care about DiBiase and Rhodes though? They don't do anything except beat people up for Orton or get beat up for Orton; they were much more interesting before Legacy was formed. No one is going to care when DiBiase & Rhodes win the Tag Titles, which appears to be practically a guarantee at this point, and it's a shame because Primo & Carlito have been slowly rebuilding the tag division. When Priceless have the titles, they're just going to become background noise to Randy Orton and I wouldn't be surprised if the division is once again forgotten about.

I got a great idea, let's replay the video of Legacy attacking Batista four times tonight! I seriously feel like with the time they spend showing replays, they could have an extra match every week on Raw. So absurd. Alright, so Orton's out there, Batista's going to forfeit, making last night completely pointless... OMG TRIPLE H!!!

Something to care about on this show! I'm sure the smarks let out a collective groan, but Triple H being back is at least something for this very stale, very boring show. Of course, it means more of Triple H vs. Orton, which I was tired of before WrestleMania, but hopefully these two can give us a proper one-on-one main event match and bring closure to this feud once and for all. If Extreme Rules is any indication, it's certainly more exciting than Orton vs. Batista.

But what's the deal with the WWE Title? Batista didn't show up, but Triple H interfered, so that's clearly a disqualification, and Batista retains, right? The cool thing to do would be to have a tournament, but I assume since they're advertising a WWE Title match for next week, it'll be Orton vs. Triple H? I guess?

I'm excited that Triple H is back, but this show still has a long way to go before it can even touch the other two brands. But
hey, we got the big three hour show next week! That's a perfect way to make Raw interesting again, put ECW and Smackdown on it.


  1. Edge adding to Vickie Guerrero deserved misery was uncomfortable to watch? Compared to the Dr. Hiney sketch, the Katie Vick sketch, Orton DDT'ing Stephing, The Jeff Hardy 'accidents', Jack Swaggers's push and Santino Marella's career... that segment was as Epic as 2001: A Space Oddessy and funny as hell

  2. It wasn't as bad as Dr. Hiney or Katie Vick... but it was still unnecessary. Let me put it this way, it doesn't do wrestling any favors.

  3. Dude, personally, I found it pretty offensive for this "sanitary" PG-rated product to stoop that low once again. I shouldn't be surprised that WWE has their certain vendettas and distastes, but at least under the TV-14 banner, it can be seen as an attempt at lowbrow humor and all of those things were not funny, but had the intent to be funny.

    And you can't be fucking serious that (even if she's a heel), that this suddenly justifies calling a real woman a she-beast, continuing to refer to her as a pig, and etc. because Edge "is just a dick." Look, Edge is already a goddamn heel, a main eventer at that. He doesn't NEED to stoop to going far enough past saying the marriage was a sham to degrade a woman because that woman doesn't happen to look like the others.

    Does Vickie have a bit of a weight problem? Sure. But my god, there's a good sector of the community of America that looks WORSE than her, at least by the WWE's interpretation of beauty since they've continued to be shitty towards her.

    I'm more angry because it so obviously struck of bitterness because this woman wanted to raise her kids and wanted a life outside of pro wrestling, and I don't blame her. She got all she could out of the heel schtick and she doesn't serve much of a purpose anymore, so she wanted to leave while the getting was good. So to embarrass her like that makes people wonder what the fuck is wrong with us. That we take pleasure out of turning back the clock and insulting people based on crude societal archetypes.

    Yeah, simply put, it did wrestling no favors, and it made wrestling fans like myself feel pretty shitty for watching this product and realizing that people not only cheered for this, but probably enjoyed it.

    For the record, people cheering for it ranks as worse to me than cheering Benoit and the crazy guy who ranted on Phil Brooks on YouTube last night.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. And I'll explain the last statement. You can justify cheering for Benoit on the poor caveat of his in-ring work. Actions obviously could play into it, but he was a great wrestler. It is frightening to see a huge crowd cheer him, yes.

    The crazy guy is...well, crazy, but he's one lone person and lone people are always nuts.

    But the crowd cheered for a guy telling a woman that she's unfuckable and a she beast. That she's basically worthless as a woman. And while all women are different, all of them will crack in some way if they heard that they are useless to someone that they trust. That they are unattractive, that they've been used. This is something that happens every fucking day with women and is a part of the reason why many women distrust men because men have a strong ability to cut into the psyche of a woman and to be frankly a terrible, horrible being to them. The reverse can sometimes be true, of course. Either way, verbal abuse is devastating and hurtful to a person and is something that people never truly forget.

    It's a case where I see it as not an easy separation between wrestling and reality, because it's a situation staged on a real person's features.

    (btw, the last removal was to make sure that I wrote this very carefully because on a subject like this especially, wording is everything from avoiding generalized statements.)

  6. All good Trey, I appreciate your passionate input. See, this is what I'm talking about when I say we, as wrestling fans, can have a more intelligent discussion. It doesn't have to always be "lulz cuz she's fat!"

    I think what bothers me most about Vickie is the fact that she's Eddie's widow. This marriage storyline should've ended with the crowd feeling sympathy for Vickie, not cheering Edge for using a grieving widow.

  7. It was another pretty good Raw, although I actually enjoyed last week's a little more. (Flair-Orton brawl > HHH killing Orton)

    The Vickie stuff is tasteless, although they've done far worse. It was sad that 75 percent of the crowd was cheering Edge, although that dropped a bit once he got really nasty.

    They've done a nice job of getting me interested in Cena vs. Miz.

  8. For me, the Miz is the most entertaining part of Raw right now. Sometimes he's the only entertaining part.

  9. When Festus came out with Goldswaggle, I laughed my ass off because you called it way before any of this happened.

    I admit I laughed at some of the things that Vickie said BEFORE Edge came out and was so brutal to her because the irony of her statements (about the audience having self-respect when she had just gotten through a very degrading storyline).

    When she quit, I thought it was all a work designed to start turning her face, and that she was going to be back next week with a new vendetta against Edge, but alas, we know this isn't the case.

    And I admit I groaned when I saw Triple H, not because I hate him or anything (he isn't one of my favorites), but because I thought MVP was going to get a good push into main event face position with the absence of Batista, and with Triple H back, well, I don't think that is going to happen now.

    But I now understand why they don't really let Mickie James do a lot of mike work these days after that commentary.

  10. Yeah, I don't know what this means for MVP, but I can't imagine they'd have him say that and then it goes nowhere.

  11. I just hope he doesn't end up getting mixed up in the Cena/Show/Miz thing... that would be disappointing to say the least.