Monday, May 4, 2009

Kick-Out's Raw Thoughts - May 4, 2009

Yeah, Smackdown definitely won the Draft. This week was better than last, but something is still missing. I don't know if it's the absence of Triple H or the whole "been there, done that" feeling, but it's just not really clicking with me right now.

Randy Orton, buddy, you have got to speed up your entrance. The Sandman had to make his way through a rabid ECW crowd, drink a six pack of beer and he still got to the ring faster than you. So we get the false start on Orton vs. Shane, everyone gets involved and Vickie Guerrero sets up the "Win and You're In" stipulation, which was a decent enough idea. Ever notice how funny it is when Vickie tries to say "Orton" and it sounds like "Orn?" Makes me laugh.

Kofi Kingston vs. Matt Hardy is a match I'd like to see again in the future, obviously they had to keep things pretty basic tonight due to Matt's broken hand. I enjoy Hardy's wrestling "under protest" shtick, the man has a point... who medically clears a guy to wrestle with a broken hand?! Anyway, glad to see Kofi pick up the win here, the guy has been on a roll since WrestleMania and shows no signs of slowing down. Why not give this guy some time against Orton once the dust settles with the McMahon saga?

I was wondering how WWE was going to work swine flu into a show and of course... Santina Marella caught it. Hopefully she shows up on Superstars wearing one of those surgical masks.

The Bella Twins accost MVP backstage and ask him to go out later tonight. Look, I'm not one to judge or anything, but these girls sure seem to get around. First they're with Carlito & Primo, then one of them goes with Miz & Morrison, then they get drafted to Raw and want to go out with MVP? And this is all within the span of what, two months? You don't need a man to make you happy ladies, I'm just saying.

MVP vs. Cody Rhodes was a decent match, but the highlight was William Regal on guest commentary. I'm also going to file a formal request that Cody Rhodes put his kneepads back on, not just because of his eerily skinny legs, but so I never have to hear the Michael Cole use phrase "bone on bone contact." I know Regal said it first, but you know Cole loves to repeat things, and if I ever hear him say "bone on bone contact" in the same match as "controlled frenzy," my ears will bleed. Anyway! Regal vs. MVP will make for a great feud and I think their styles will surprisingly mesh well in the ring. Regal can brawl with the best of them and MVP is more technically sound than people give him credit for, so I look forward to seeing what these two do together.

Jillian vs. Festus in the sing-off was honestly pretty funny. Yes it was silly and stupid and so is the entire Festus gimmick, but for some reason it always makes me laugh. I don't really see much of a point in doing such a segment, but it was fun and wait a minute... MIZ ON RAW!

The Miz once again provides the highlight of the night and calls out John Cena. The lines about little kids and their cougar moms and The Rock using Cena's scripts for toilet paper were golden. Miz is getting pretty edgy and his promos are the kind of thing that you don't really hear in typical WWE promos anymore, they definitely have an unscripted vibe to them. Sadly, by the time Cena made it to the ring, Big Show interrupted and Miz hightailed it, which I thought was a waste. Why not have Big Show beat Cena down then have Miz run in and cover him and count the three? Would've made Miz look like an even bigger jerk and would keep the heat on this little mini-feud they might have in the works.

Jared the Subway Guy?! Well that's certainly random. Mickie James and Maryse had an okay match, but I know there's a lot more these two can do against each other. Aside from Beth Phoenix, I'd say these two are the best Divas in WWE right now and I think there's a lot of potential in a feud between them. Glad to see Mickie in one-on-one action, I feel like it's been months since that happened.

Batista vs. Ted DiBiase wasn't as good as their match on Smackdown a couple weeks ago, but it was also a lot shorter. Batista getting carried away and getting DQed was a good finish, playing up on the fact that he's the outsider in this whole McMahon/Orton drama and doesn't always worry about others.

Odd little interaction there between Chavo and Vickie Guerrero... is Chavo making a power play to take over the GM role?

Carlito vs. The Brian Kendrick was the definition of "filler." Remember during the Attitude Era, there was always a complete throwaway match at around 10:40? Yeah, that was this match, completely useless, advances no storyline and does nothing for either guy. Also, TBK continues to be the most under-utilized talent in WWE today. Bummer.

Main event time, Shane McMahon all by himself against Legacy. The match itself was pretty dull, the crowd wasn't into it at all until all the craziness started happening. Shane-O-Mac did the infamous elbow drop through the announce table, but missed and Orton took advantage. Orton pulling a page out of Stephen King's Misery and destroying Shane's ankle was pretty brutal and I assume this will write Shane out of storylines for awhile? One quick thing about Shane McMahon that I keep meaning to bring up, have you ever noticed that he looks just like the Big Boy? These are the kinds of thoughts that pop in my head during wrestling, Stephen King novels and hamburger restaurants.

Anyway, I hope this means the end of the Orton/McMahon storyline since they're all officially on the shelf at this point, but now I don't really know what the direction of the show is. I can't see them dragging out Orton/Batista or John Cena/Big Show and there really aren't any other major storylines going on. Raw needs spicing up and I think the three major candidates to do that are Kofi Kingston, MVP and The Miz. As I suggested earlier, let Kofi get a small program with Orton, have Miz work with Cena and let MVP be king of the upper midcard and I think it'll be just as exciting as Smackdown was last week. I mean, there's only so many combinations of Triple, Randy Orton, John Cena and Batista you can go through, why not give some of the new blood a chance? Even if it's just for a couple PPVs, it could really change the landscape of the brand. Just a thought... feel free to leave yours!


  1. Yeah, RAW really feels like it doesn't know how it wants to be booked. In terms of star power, it got the better of the draft, but when it comes to entertainment, SD! had the advantage.

    I really don't understand this Brian Kendrick situation either, has he just become their job guy? or do they plan on doing something with him that doesn't involve losing all his matches? Such a waste, he really would've done well on ECW.

    And like you said, The Miz is the highlight of RAW right now. I'm really hoping this leads to some kind of program with Cena or we'll see him mix it up with someone like Kofi, because he's shown some real potential in recent weeks.

  2. I thought it was weird that the Bella Twins were the supposed enticement of Raw when they were on Smackdown with MVP.

    If it had been Mickie James and Kelly Kelly doing the persuading, then that makes more sense to me.