Monday, April 6, 2009

Addressing Mania Gripes (and why I hate smarks)

In case you're unfamiliar with wrestling lingo (maybe you have a social life), then let me crack open the ol' wrestling dictionary for you. In the old days, wrestling fans were referred to as "marks," the same phrase used for victims of a con artist, because they believed wrestling was real. Today, the phrase is used mostly by wrestling fans who have a need to feel superior to people who just want to have a good time watching wrestling. These people are called "smarks," or "smart marks," who believe they have all the inside knowledge on what goes on behind the scenes because they read rumor sites (aka dirtsheets), which are pretty much the wrestling equivalent of Soap Opera Digest.

Smarks are part of the reason I started this blog as they're the main source of negativity that surrounds any in-depth discussion of professional wrestling. They're never pleased by anything, everything WWE-related sucks, and they pine about the glory days of wrestling in the late 90s, when there were still a slew of them whining about wrestling then and pining for the days of the 80s. See the pattern?

They're out in full force to complain about WrestleMania 25 and as a public service to you, the sane person, I will address their many complaints. These are all things I've read on various websites and message boards in the last twelve hours:

-Kid Rock gets to perform but the tag match gets bumped?
Some people are incapable of understanding the fact that professional wrestling is a business and businesses need to be marketed. Now I wasn't a fan of Kid Rock either, but WWE obviously spent a hefty sum of money to get him to perform and they're not going to bump him off their show so Primo will get to wrestle on the PPV. It sucks the tag match didn't get televised, but that's the nature of live television, time constraints happen.

-Nobody turned heel or face? Where was the drama?!
When was the last time there was a high profile heel or face turn at Mania? The last one I remember was Trish Stratus turning on Chris Jericho at WrestleMania 20. Before that, it was the crowd turning "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan back into "The Immortal" Hulk Hogan at WrestleMania 18. And of course, Steve Austin's infamous heel turn at WrestleMania 17. WrestleMania is where storylines usually end, and someone suddenly becoming a good guy or a bad guy generally starts a new storyline; obviously there are exceptions as I illustrated, but they're pretty rare. As for drama, I suggest you go back and watch the matches again, many of which are great demonstrations of WWE storytelling.

-Too predictable!
I touched on this last night, but outside of Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, I don't really see how any of the matches were too predictable. Was anyone positively sure that CM Punk would win MITB two years in a row? Or that Matt Hardy would decisively beat Jeff Hardy? Edge vs. Cena vs. Big Show could've went any of the three ways and I think the majority of people expected Randy Orton to come out on top in the WWE Title match. Easily the least logical gripe I've heard about the event so far.

-It just didn't feel like WrestleMania!
Yeah, aside from that MITB they only do once a year at WrestleMania, the return of Ricky Steamboat after 15 years away from the ring, the first real singles match between the Hardy brothers in eight years, Rey Mysterio winning his first IC Title, JBL retiring, The first encounter between Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker in over a decade (and one of the best matches in Mania history), an interpromotional Triple Threat match with a new World Champion crowned and Triple H winning his first Mania match in six years, this was just like any other PPV.

I know I come across like a WWE fanboy here, but this is why I started Kick-Out!! Wrestling, to bring some logic and reasoning to the internet wrestling community. Far too long, there's been nothing but rampant negativity, ridiculous exaggerations and major buzzkills. If you're a wrestling fan, I don't care if it's WWE, Puroresu, Ring of Honor, or TNA (well... maybe not TNA), this is the site for you. That's not to say there won't ever be a bad thing said about WWE, but Kick-Out!! will always be fair. This site is for fans of this wild and weird "sport" known as professional wrestling and after an event like last night, it's a great day to be a fan.

1 comment:

  1. I know how you feel man. I thought it was a good show. Plus, I'm a fan of Kid so that didnt bother me.