Raw Thoughts - March 15, 2010

Even though it's 3/15, tonight's all about 3:16! To channel JR, "STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!"  Remember to keep refreshing your page for ongoing thoughts on tonight's show.

Starting things off right with STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN!  You'll have to forgive me if the updates are a bit slow tonight, Stone Cold will have my undivided attention any time he's on screen.  Stone Cold wastes no time breaking out the classics, talking about cans of whoop-ass and of course, gets a couple cans of beer.  And wait a minute... is Stone Cold drinking canned Corona with no lime?  Damn, he is the world's toughest son of a bitch.  Stone Cold gets the crowd pumped up, like only he can do, and out comes John Cena!  A little staredown, Stone Cold teases a Stunner, but gives John the "you can't see me" and heads out of the ring.  Hopefully this isn't the only interaction we'll see from these two tonight.

John Cena vs. Big Show is our opening contest and the first of our WrestleMania Rewind matches.  This match took place at WM20, John Cena's first WrestleMania match, his first taste of gold (winning the US Title), and he's never been in a non-title match at WrestleMania.  We saw Cena and Big Show square off a little too much in 2009, and the matches were surprisingly disappointing, so I can't say I'm stoked about this one.  Luckily, the crowd is hot and a short match on Raw should at least be fun.  Batista's music hits and the WWE Champion, and to channel JR once again, I think it's safe to say that business just picked up.  Cena hoists Big Show up for the Attitude Adjustment (which never ceases to amaze me), but Batista provides the distraction, Show rakes the eyes and nails the Malignant Fist for the 1-2-3, Big Show just pinned John Cena two weeks before WrestleMania!  A bit of a shocker, but it plays up the "bad things happen to Cena when Batista's around" story they got going.

Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne up next... poor Evan Bourne.  Although props to Sheamus for stealing the CM Punk microphone cheapshot.  "Before I start my match," *THUNK!*  Hey, if you're gonna steal, steal from the best.  Referee Jack Doan doesn't even start the match after Sheamus hits Evan Bourne with the Celtic Cross, and the Celtic Warrior just keeps talking.  This actually might be Sheamus' best promo to date, the guy gets more and more comfortable in front of the camera every week and I think after WrestleMania, he may just silence the naysayers for good.  That promo was so good, it almost made up for Evan Bourne being treated as an afterthought two weeks before he'll be in Money in the Bank.

Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse is our Divas bout for the evening, and could be decent, they are pretty much Raw's best female wrestlers, which actually isn't saying much.  And as I type that sentence, Maryse hits the French Kiss for the win; at least this is a case where a Raw match should only be two minutes long.  Things don't end here though, Maryse tries a beatdown after the match, but Kelly is saved by Gail Kim & Eve, who are then attacked by Michelle McCool & Layla.  Ugh.  Let me guess, Maryse, Michelle & Layla vs. Kelly, Gail & Eve at WrestleMania?  Well, we all knew something with the Divas had to happen at WrestleMania, I guess this is better than another 25-Diva battle royal or a pillowfight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho is our second WrestleMania Rewind match and definitely the match I'm most excited about this evening.  Make sure your eyes are on your television, this could be the last time these two future Hall of Famers wrestle each other.  A fantastic match between Jericho and Michaels (like you'd expect anything less), but criminally short due to Jericho getting himself counted out.  But of course, tonight isn't really about WrestleMania Rewinds, it's about WrestleMania XXVI, and Edge makes his presence felt after the match, attacking Jericho on the ramp, throwing him in the ring and hitting, you guessed it, a SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! I MEAN SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!

SPEAR!

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase has been officially signed for WrestleMania, which I figured would happen, but Rhodes & DiBiase have been a cohesive unit lately, why would they want to fight each other?  Fair enough, it's Legacy, the whole underlying theme of the stable is that they have their own individual agendas, but it still strikes me as odd that they just flat-out announced the match without some friction between Cody & Ted.

Triple H vs. Randy Orton is our third, and presumably final, WrestleMania Rewind match.  We all know my feelings on Orton, but I'll never deny the fact that he's earned his spot, and I'm definitely a Triple H fan, but these two have never gelled in a match together.  I don't get it, their styles aren't exactly dissimilar, they've been closely associated since Evolution, the crowd reacts to them both, but for whatever reason, they just don't have the in-ring chemistry.  That said, Orton hitting his trademark DDT off the steel stairs was NASTY!  Maybe this could be the match to break the unfortunate HHH/Orton streak?  Maybe?  No.  Just when things are getting interesting, Legacy shows up to cause a double DQ.  Triple H tries to fight them off, but Sheamus takes out The Game, I smell a 3-on-2 handicap match next week.

Gorgeous George is getting inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, which is long overdue.  Without Gorgeous George, professional wrestling in its current form likely wouldn't exist today.  Aside from the invention of the television, nothing has had the lasting impact on the industry like Gorgeous George, hell, one could even argue that George was responsible for the success of the television!  A pop culture icon before the term pop culture was coined, George's legacy has been somewhat lost to time, but if you read your history, you'll know that legacy transcended wrestling.  Every wrestler that has stepped foot in the ring in the last 50 years has done so because of Gorgeous George.

Kofi Kingston vs. Batista.  Okay, it makes sense since Kofi tried to save Cena last week, but come on, we're not going to put him in Money in the Bank? Really, WWE?  REALLY?!  The guy was on the cusp of moving up to WWE Title contention just three months ago and now he can't even get something to do at WrestleMania? REALLY?!  They have one Raw and two Smackdowns to fix this, and if they don't, I will be one angry Razor.  Unsurprisingly, his job here is to make Batista look like a bad ass, and he definitely did that well.  Despite Batista getting busted open (cue smarks losing their shit), Kofi got demolished and was finished off with a brutal Batista Bomb.  I have no problem with Kofi losing to the WWE Champ, but I cannot understand why they've completely abandoned his push.  Such a waste.

After all these years, I've always said that Pete Rose should be reinstated and inducted in the Baseball Hall of Fame, but after booking a handicap match for next week's Raw, I'm not so sure.

The official contract signing between Bret Hart & Vince McMahon, along with moderator Stone Cold Steve Austin, is just getting started, but is one of the most surreal sights that I've ever seen.  The last time these three were on WWE TV at the same time, Vince McMahon was doing play-by-play... and probably wearing that hideous Monday Night Raw jacket.  Before things get going, Steve Austin overrides Vince's earlier ruling and officially announces Stu Hart for the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2010. Awesome.

Bret and Vince have a nice little war of words, Bret asks for a No Holds Barred match and both men sign the contract, the match is official!  "Hitman vs. McMahon," as Stone Cold calls it, and I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that this match is actually happening.  Before the ink is even dry, Stone Cold tells Vince that Bret has one last thing to say... the cast is on the table!  That silly incident with the car wreck was actually just Bret tricking Vince into accepting the match at WrestleMania.  "Good thing John Cena knows someone in the stunt business," and hey, say what you will about that goofy skit, it was still better than The Marine!  Bret's "Vince screwed Vince" line at the end of the show just sold the entire slow build of this feud.  The Sharpshooter will be the ultimate payoff, but that line will be what we hear in the video packages for years to come.

Great ending to what shaped up to be a pretty good Raw.  Much like the last few weeks, the in-ring action was secondary to the hype for WrestleMania, but that's the way it should be.  This is WWE's biggest event of the year, and the hype for this WrestleMania has been nothing short of phenomenal.  Even as rocky as Raw's been in the last year, I'll take a show like this as long as it gets me this excited for the PPVs, especially WrestleMania.  Aside from Kofi's continued downfall and the fact that Michelle McCool was on my television, I got no complaints about this show.  Bring on Mania!

Raw Thoughts - March 15, 2010

The Birth of Austin 3:16

Tonight marks the return of the greatest performer in the history of professional wrestling, Stone Cold Steve Austin.  As we await the start of Raw, let's take a look back at the birth of Austin 3:16



Stone Cold > everything ever.

The Birth of Austin 3:16

Smackdown Thoughts - March 12, 2010

Rey Mysterio & his family started things off on Friday Night Smackdown, which was a bit odd.  Definitely weird to see Dominic on WWE TV again (and now taller than Rey) after the infamous "I'm your Papi" storyline with Eddie Guerrero.  Speaking of that feud, it's a true testament to how awesome Eddie was, because somehow, some way, he made that storyline work.  Rey brought his family to work because it's his daughter Aaliyah's ninth birthday, and the crowd shows a shocking amount of class by chanting "Happy Birthday, clap, clap, clap-clap-clap," if this were the old school ECW, I don't think they would've been that friendly.  But in the middle of Rey singing Happy Birthday to his daughter, CM Punk & The Straight Edge Society interrupt.  Okay, I'm not sure how anyone's going to top that for dick move of the year.  The interruption would've been enough, but the "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" reference to Rey's wife and children was borderline uncomfortable.  Punk was damn near McMahon levels in this segment, and while I wasn't entirely sold on them fighting at Mania, I damn sure want to see this match now.  Punk's one of my top five favorite wrestlers on the planet right now, and even I wanted to see him get his ass kicked here.  This may have been his best performance on the mic to date.

The Miz (w/Daniel Bryan) vs. R-Truth (w/David Otunga) was our opening contest for the evening, which addressed stories crossing all WWE shows - Raw, Smackdown and NXT.  Decent enough match, highlighted by Daniel Bryan shoving Miz's feet off the rope when the US Champ tried to steal a win.  R-Truth picked up the win, giving his team more momentum heading into Mania, but I think I'm more interested in Miz vs. Bryan.


I seriously cannot handle how bad ass these Undertaker/HBK "Ain't No Grave" promos are.  The latest featured the WWE Superstars talking about both guys and really just sold the fact that this is THE match at WrestleMania.  Regardless of where it goes on the card, this rematch is the main event.  With a card as stacked as this, it really says something about the power of these performers and WWE's hype machine, that a rematch just one year later can stand somehow stand above the rest.

Drew McIntyre got his third shot at a Money in the Bank spot, his undefeated* streak still intact, but this time he had to defend his Intercontinental Championship against... Aaron Bolo?  Vince McMahon handpicked McIntyre's opponent if you couldn't tell.  McIntyre made short work of Local Competitor and is going to WrestleMania as the ninth competitor in Money in the Bank.  As I discussed in the column I just linked to, I don't mind that there are ten guys in MITB this year, I would've preferred it if the Intercontinental Title was defended at WrestleMania, especially since the US Title won't be defended either. 

Big Show vs. John Morrison was up next, continuing the story from our opening contest.  Definitely a clash of styles here, the flashy "pretty" style of John Morrison up against the "I'll toss you around like a rag doll" style of The Big Show.  I expected this match to be a bit of a mess, but I was actually rather impressed by how good it was.  Morrison fought hard and looked tough, but Big Show is Big Show and hit that malignant fist for the win.  Not going to win any match of the year awards, but it was a lot of fun. 

Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme pt. 384 was shaping up to be your standard Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme match, that was until the lights went out and GONG!  The Undertaker arrived to clean house!  Alright, I'm always happy to see The Undertaker and I didn't really need to see Cryme Tyme vs. The Hart Dynasty again, but what exactly did this accomplish for either team or Taker's feud with Shawn Michaels?

Tiffany vs. Michelle McCool was next, and I'm sure if I've ever actually seen Tiffany wrestle before.  She wasn't exactly Trish Stratus in there, but I admired her intensity and thought it could've been decent had it not abruptly ended due to outside interference.  I'm still trying to figure out why they're saddling Vickie Guerrero with Michelle McCool.  I guess they figure Vickie's the only way they can get the crowd to react to the Women's Champion, but still, what a waste.  Thrilled to see The Glamazon get involved after the match and take out McCool, Layla and Vickie though.  Looks like Beth Phoenix has finally turned face and maybe she'll actually get the spot she deserves as the industry's premiere female wrestler.

Here's how awesome CM Punk is: usually when someone has already been out earlier in the evening, their return isn't really met with as strong a reaction by the crowd... but not Punk.  After a defining moment against Rey to start the night, the crowd booed him even more when he was out for Luke Gallows vs. Kane.  I had to laugh when Matt Striker said "it's like Kane vs. Bizarro Kane" when Gallows was matching Kane's offense.  In case you managed to forget the abysmal fake Kane storyline from a couple years back, Striker's wink wink, nudge nudge moment brought back some painful memories of Luke Gallows running around with Kane's mask on.  Man, that really sucked.  Luckily, this match wasn't that bad, but it wasn't particularly great either.  I was much more into Punk and Mysterio's short brawl afterward. 

For the first time since Chris Jericho started rocking the slick suits and wearing trunks, The Highlight Reel returned!  How long had it been since we saw The Highlight Reel?  Let me put it this way, the last time Jericho hosted it, Lance Cade was hanging out with him.   Edge was the guest for the show, which makes me hope that next week, Chris Jericho is the guest in The Cutting Edge.  Good promos from both men though, Jericho played up Edge's penchant for getting injured, Edge played up his high-risk style, and we got through it without "spear" being said 87 times... at least not by Edge.  I especially liked Jericho hitting Edge with the microphone, a wooden stool and then the World Title when Edge tried to turn the tables; it gave the champ some of his bite back after being humiliated for weeks. SPEAR!

It's getting more and more difficult to give a summary of Smackdown in these reviews.  What do you say about a show that's consistently good every week?  There's nothing particularly revolutionary going on here, it's just a simple wrestling show building towards the biggest event of the year.  My only gripe about this show was the pointless bit with Taker destroying Cryme Tyme and The Harts, but other than that, everything else served a purpose and was executed well... even the stuff with Michelle McCool.  Another thumbs up for WWE's efforts on Friday nights.

Smackdown Thoughts - March 12, 2010

MITB: The More, The Merrier!

Okay, so I haven't seen Smackdown yet, but a lot of people have read spoilers or seen it outside of the United States and a big story coming out of the show is that Money in the Bank will feature a whopping ten Superstars this year.  Unsurprisingly, like everything that ever happens in the world of wrestling, this is causing a large portion of the fanbase to complain.  There seems to be this notion that ten guys is just too much, I even read someone claim that it "leaves no room for proper psychology or story."

Uh, The very nature of the Money in the Bank Ladder Match leaves no room for proper psychology or story.  If you want a story at WrestleMania, Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker, or even ShowMiz vs. Morrison & R-Truth will have you covered, but MITB is an excuse for guys to do crazy moves off ladders, nothing more, nothing less.  WWE doesn't do spotfests very often, but MITB is the one match where you know you can shut your brain off and just enjoy, it's the wrestling equivalent of the popcorn flick.  How can you even expect psychology or story when it's a bunch of guys just thrown into a match with each other?  Occasionally some ongoing feuds will mix up in there, but all people care about are the "ooh, ah" moments and who wins.  

I honestly don't see why it matters if there are six, seven, eight or ten guys in the match, in fact, the way I see it, ten guys is better.  The more guys in the match, the safer it becomes because you have more guys to catch someone who's doing an insane dive off a 16-foot ladder onto a concrete floor.  I know if I was Evan Bourne, I'd much rather have nine guys to land on than five.  Also, not that MITB ever really loses its pace, but you know how the match works, a ton of spots happen and a bunch of guys are laid out, selling their big fall, the ladder shot to the head, or being powerbombed over the top rope, with more guys, there's less of a chance for a lull period.  On the flipside of that, it gives guys more time to rest after those big bumps, because there are more guys left to work while Shelton Benjamin asks himself why he keeps doing this every year.

This ain't Steamboat/Flair, and calling it a clusterfuck isn't really an insult, that's the point of the match.  When it comes to dudes putting their bodies and careers on the line in Money in the Bank, I say the more, the merrier. 

MITB: The More, The Merrier!

WWE NXT Thoughts - March 9, 2010

R-Truth & David Otunga vs. The Miz & Daniel Bryan in tag team action was our opening contest; I like the idea behind this one, take the two teams that are having the most issues with each other, put them in a match against each other, and see who will self-destruct first.  If you guessed Miz and Daniel Bryan imploding, congratulations, you're a winner!  Truth & Otunga seemed to be getting along better last Friday on Smackdown, they certainly kept the hatchet buried long enough to pick up the win here, but I won't be surprised if they end up like Miz and Bryan.  I loved the Miz/Bryan interactions, Miz costing them the match by breaking up Bryan's submission and getting caught with Otunga's "get the hell off me" spinebuster, Bryan making Miz flinch when he teased a slap, these two just work incredibly well together.  Decent match, but great storytelling.

Heat Slater vs. Carlito made headlines by being the first singles match where an NXT Rookie pinned a WWE Pro.  I'll give Slater half a point on that one, because really, it was just Carlito; Slater's won more matches in the last three weeks than Carlito has in the last three months.  Not enough Michael Tarver involvement in this match, but I have a feeling I'll be saying that a lot as long as he's saddled with Mr. Caribbean Cool.  Slater's persona still doesn't strike me as a WWE Superstar, but he's solid in the ring and he's got Captain Charisma in his corner, so I'm hopeful for him.

Darren Young is definitely getting his head shaved by CM Punk before NXT is over, maybe even before WrestleMania.

Main Event time! Justin Gabriel w/ Matt Hardy vs. Wade Barrett w/ Chris Jericho, and aside from the awesome Bryan/Jericho match-up from week 1, this was my favorite NXT match so far, definitely the best match yet between two rookies.  Everything worked here, Barrett looked like a beast, Gabriel looked like the plucky underdog, and Chris Jericho (as always) looked like the best in the world.  Jericho yelling at the ringside commentators has always been one of my favorite Jerichoisms, but he may have topped himself this week:

Jericho: Barrett's like a machine!

Cole: You should just join us on commentary!

Jericho: Maybe I should!

Brilliant.  Despite Barrett's unwavering assault on Gabriel's back (which Jericho taught him to do), Matt Hardy's protege somehow pulled out a victory with his beautiful 450 Splash.  Very fun match.

Nothing earth-shattering here, but another solid night of wrestling from NXT.  I was disappointed to hear that the ratings dropped again this week, down to the numbers ECW was getting.  I suppose one could make the argument that killing off ECW was pointless, but I've already moved on from the Land of Extreme and NXT still feels fresh and unique.  Plus, more people are still watching NXT than TNA Impact. :-P

(You can send your hate mail to razor@kickoutwrestling.com or simply yell at me in the comments)

WWE NXT Thoughts - March 9, 2010

Poll - TNA's Monday Debut

Title pretty much says it all, what did you think of TNA on Monday?  Thumbs up? Thumbs down?  Feel free to leave your comments on what you thought of the show and let us know if you plan on watching next week.

Poll - TNA's Monday Debut

TNA Impact Thoughts - March 8, 2010

If I like what I see here tonight, I just might turn this into a weekly thing.  No idea how I'm going to make it work with my DVR, but hey, good wrestling is good wrestling.

I really liked the new opening video, very slick and way better than the old one.  No surprise that TNA wanted to get the jump on WWE tonight and brought out Hulk Hogan... and Abyss, but who cares about him?  Didn't take long for a "biggest night in the history of our sport" line either, ah if only Tony Schiavone could've said it instead of the Hulkster.  

Abyss & Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair & AJ Styles had been hyped for weeks and they decided to open the show with it, but unsurprisingly, there were shenanigans involved.  A few minutes into the match, Sting returned to TNA!  Sting was staring down Flair & Styles, but SWERVE~!, Sting attacked Hogan and Abyss instead!  I never approve of Sting heel turns, it's like trying to make Ricky Steamboat a heel, ya just don't do it.  You know what else you probably shouldn't do?  Unprotected chair shots to the skull.  I know, I know, TNA wants to be "edgy" and show blood since WWE doesn't, but I don't think a 56-year-old man needs to take shots like that to prove anything.  Nothing wrong with putting your hands up.  Match is off, but Hogan said they'd finish it before the night was over.

Great promo from Ric Flair backstage.  I'm still not fond of him coming out of retirement, but no one works the mic like the Naitch.

However, no one should ever work the mic like Abyss.  "WHY STING WHYYYYY?!"  

Kazarian in the ring talking up the X-Division, good to know TNA hasn't forgotten about it, and good to know they haven't forgotten about Christopher Daniels, who claimed he is the X-Division.  Doug Williams was out next to call Daniels and Kazarian "geezers," even though he's one year younger than Daniels and five years older than Kazarian.  Oookay.  The three traded words, culminating with Kazarian calling Daniels a "selfish prick," which appropriately brought out Eric Bischoff!  Bischoff set up a triple threat match for the X-Division Championship. 

Doug Williams vs. Kazarian vs. Daniels with the X-Division Title on the line and if this is what TNA has in mind to restore the X-Division to its former glory, they're off to a good start.  Great match, but great wrestling has never been a problem for TNA, even though sometimes they forget it's their greatest strength.  Well, let me clear, it was a great match between Daniels and Kazarian and Doug Williams just happened to be the one to pick up the win... though his finisher is bad ass.  After the match, Shannon Moore attacked Doug Williams, letting him know that there's a new face in the X-Division, and he'll be his opponent at Destination X.  I know a lot of people dislike Moore, but I've never understood the hate, he'll make a good addition to the X-Division, so long as they don't forget about it again. 

Dixie Carter called Sting "Steve," SHOOT~!

The TNA Knockouts Tag Team Titles have been vacated due to Awesome Kong leaving the company, and they're being put up in a triple threat tag match: Sarita & Taylor Wilde vs. Madison Rain & Velvet Skye vs. Tara & Angelina Love.  The Knockouts are TNA's biggest advantage over WWE, and this match was decent enough, though a bit short.  Daffney interfered when Tara was in control, which gave The Beautiful People the opening they needed to capture the gold.

Backstage, Da Pope was there to do what he does best, be awesome.  Unfortunately, Desmond Wolfe does not share my view and attacked Pope's already injured ankle!

Lots of filler before Sting's match against his mystery opponent, and TNA totally blew it on the reveal, you hear the crowd go nuts and you see Sting lose his shit, but we they took too long to cut to the TNATron, which had the letters RVD on it!  Rob Van Dam is in TNA!  And he just beat Sting in less than 10 seconds!  After the "match," Sting went nutzo on RVD with his baseball bat, which went on way too long and eventually brought out Hulk Hogan, for no real reason.  Bubba The Love Sponge (ugh) held Hogan back while Sting continued to assault RVD, and once Hogan finally got close enough, Sting took out The Hulkster.  

This segment kinda bugged me because it totally distracted from RVD's debut and you got Taz on commentary saying "get some help out here for Hogan," who only got hit a couple times, but RVD was beaten for what felt like twelve minutes.  But despite my gripes, I think this is a situation where you just have to see how it plays out.  Even if it did kill RVD's debut momentum a bit, if this turns into a decent length feud between Sting and RVD, then it did what it needed to do to set things up.  If it leads to RVD doing something else entirely, then yeah, this is TNA dropping the ball again and they may has well sent him out to beat up Homicide.   


Kevin Nash & Adam Sessler's little brother, Eric Young were out next to challenge Scott Hall & Sean Waltman to a match at Destination X.  The story behind this feud makes sense, Nash is pissed because Hall and Waltman always wind up making him look bad, but does anyone want to see these three guys in the ring in 2010?  I love Scott Hall and Kevin Nash has been great in TNA, but these two haven't had a good match against each other since what, 1994?  Just to put that in perspective, Hall and Nash have never had a good match against each other, Razor Ramon and Diesel had good matches against each other.   Still, they could put Hall on the mic for two hours every Monday night and I might watch TNA more than Raw.  "I'll be the one that looks like Elvis."  I love this guy.  Waltman and Young are kinda the background noise to this one, but Eric Bischoff puts them in a match that starts right now! 

Sean Waltman vs. Eric Young! X-Pac vs. X-Play! It's wasn't so much a match as it was a fight, but it ended with one of the most old school wrestling moves, the Piledriver!  Eric Young picks up the win, but if him and Nash lose at the PPV, Hall & Waltman get "fat contracts" with TNA.

Okay, Kurt Angle's entrance with the US Army was pretty bad ass.  Very classy promo from Angle, talking up the troops and running down the disrespectful Mr. Anderson, but he kinda ruined it by calling Anderson a "bitch."  See, this is when "edgy" doesn't equal "good," it's feels forced and cheesy, especially in the context of that promo.  Mr. Anderson's brief mic work was fantastic as usual, but it didn't take long for Angle (and the United States Army) to attack.  This feud is exactly what TNA should be doing, it's a simple feud between two guys over one issue, when I say TNA needs to "simplify," they need to use Angle vs. Anderson as a model. 

Hulk Hogan backstage with Earl Hebner and Bubba The Love Sponge, was a good excuse for me to go backstage, and by "backstage," I mean "in my kitchen, getting a sandwich."

Why are Beer Money heels now?  See, this is the kind of stuff that makes me scratch my head with TNA.  Beer Money, suddenly heels, going up against Jeff Jarrett with Mick Foley as the guest referee.  Does anyone care about this?  Just press the stop button on this Jarrett, Foley, Bischoff nonsense, it's pointless.

Good thing the Oscars were last night, because Sandra Bullock can't hold a candle to Brooke Hogan. 

Main Event time (for real this time), AJ Styles & Ric Flair vs. Abyss & Hulk Hogan!  Hogan and Flair really had no business being in the ring, and I really don't need to see these two bleeding like victims of Leatherface, but I gotta admit, their brawling was kinda fun.  Nothing I want to see every week (seriously TNA, do not do this every week), but for a nostalgia trip, I think we should let it slide.  

It wasn't pretty, but Abyss & Hogan picked up the win, but we weren't done there!  Desmond Wolfe hit the ring to attack the winners, but Da Pope came down for a bit of revenge from earlier!  It was absolute bedlam in the ring, but then guess what, JEFF HARDY arrived in the Impact Zone!  Jeff Hardy cleaned house, helping out the good guys and went to the top rope to hit the Swa... and we're done.  Oh come on, you cannot cut off the show before the freaking Swanton!  Way to go TNA (or Spike), you actually "debut" Jeff Hardy the right way, treating him like a main eventer, and then miss the money shot.  This is the kind of thing I'm talking about when I complain about TNA's production.

A bit more focused than January 4th, but TNA still has Total Nonstop Attention Deficit Disorder.  I understood it on the January show, it was a special, but this is it for TNA, they're on Monday nights the exact same time as Raw.  The time for excuses is over, there's no more grading on a curve, there's no more testing the waters, they have to do this every week.  I understand making the first show big, but when you go all-in like this on week one, what do you do with week two?  

RVD, Sting and Jeff Hardy are all really cool, but did they all need to be "surprises" in this two hour block?  I know, surprises are fun, but think of all the mileage they got out of dragging out Hogan's debut, now imagine if they did that with RVD.  Did we really need seven guys brawling in a Nitro-esque post main event?  I hate playing fantasy booker, but wouldn't it have been much bigger if AJ Styles beat Abyss at Destination X, talked a bunch of crap the next night on Impact, then out comes Jeff Hardy to confront him? 

And while on the subject of AJ Styles, let's talk about the fact that I was given no reason to care about him and he simply didn't look like a World Champion. Going back to my earlier point, this is it for TNA, if they want to be competition to WWE, then they have to court new fans.  If you were tuning in for the first time, you'd know less about AJ Styles than any of the NXT Rookies, and that's definitely a problem.

I know I'm getting off on an entirely separate rant here, but for all the good parts of this show - and there were quite a few - TNA still hasn't ironed out the same problems that have been plaguing them for years.  The production is piss poor, they have pacing problems with live shows, the Impact Zone looks slightly bigger than a studio apartment, they try too hard to "surprise" us, they overcomplicate things, they rely too much on backstories from WWE and WCW, and they still can't make anything feel big.  When they let wrestlers wrestle, everything's fine, but the rest of the show still looks like amateur hour.  That was fine on Thursdays, but they made the choice to take the fight directly to WWE, and the longer these issues persist, the more glaring they will become.

TNA Impact Thoughts - March 8, 2010

Raw Thoughts - March 8, 2010

Yep, it's the official start to the Monday Night Kerfuffle, I will be live blogging Raw, trying to catch TNA during commercials, and then I'll review Impact either later tonight or tomorrow.  Should be a fun night for wrestling fans, make sure you keep refreshing your page for constant updates!

Well, even though WWE is downplaying TNA's move to Monday nights, there's nothing wrong with playing it safe and bringing out the big guns first, The Undertaker is here!  From my understanding, Impact opened with Hulk Hogan, which means The Undertaker and Hulk Hogan were on two Monday night wrestling shows at the same time.  Maybe we are revisiting 1997.  Good stuff from Taker here, promising to make Shawn Michaels' career rest... in... I'M JUST A SEXY BOY,  Shawn Michaels is here!  And Shawn, we might have to have a fashion intervention with you and Davetista... a fleece vest with camo on the top half?  I don't even think Walmart sells that!  I know wardrobes can get a little ridiculous in wrestling, but shouldn't that be reserved for actual ring attire?  Okay, again, the Project Runway portion of the review is over, at least until Batista arrives.

Great promo work from both men, Shawn's got his confidence back and even has the courage to throw out a new stipulation for their match, no count-out and no disqualification!  Oh yeah, these two could definitely top their performance from last year, like I said last week, they're already topping the hype for the match.  Taker's getting particularly intense here and I challenge any two guys in any wrestling promotion to create an aura around a match like HBK and Undertaker have.

Well if WWE ever wanted me to change the channel to TNA, they'd put on the Raw divas! Gail Kim, Eve & Kelly Kelly vs. Katie Lea, Alicia Fox & Maryse got me to flip over to TNA, only to see Abyss screaming "WHY STING WWWHHHHHYYYYYY," forcing me to change right back to Raw.  FFS.  Eve forces Maryse to tap out to her armbar finisher, I guess setting up a feud between the two, which is fine.  Eve has been improving quite a bit over the last few months, so that shouldn't be too bad, probably the best they can do with the Raw Divas right now.

Criss Angel's backstage with the Bella Twins pulling string out his eye.  It's the grossest thing I've seen on a wrestling show since Ric Flair took a back body drop 15 minutes ago.

Business is about to pick up with an appearance from our Unified Tag Team Champions, ShowMiz!  Miz doesn't think Truth & Wisdom deserve a shot at the gold at WrestleMania, and he does make a good point, they're not even a real team!  After the good promo from Miz though, I have to raise an eyebrow at WWE because they're giving away the WrestleMania match for free right now?  A non-title "preview" of R-Truth & John Morrison vs. ShowMiz is our next match this evening, but of course, shenanigans end it quickly.  The referee can't get control of the match and calls for the bell, but it seems Morrison & Truth were here to prove a point.  As good a way as any to hype the PPV match, I suppose, but TNA should claim gimmick infringement.

We're 20 days away from WrestleMania, and also 20 days away from our goal of 500 Twitter followers.  If you're not following Kick-Out!! on Twitter yet, help a brother out!

Bit of a calm promo from John Cena, acknowledging the fact that he's never beat Batista and that Batista always seems to beat the holy hell out of him.

Evan Bourne & William Regal are competing for the final MITB spot?  While I fully support Evan Bourne in the match... what the hell happened to Kofi Kingston?!  Will he not even get a spot on the card?  LAME!

Speaking of lame, hey it's Legacy!  Rhodes & DiBiase vs. Randy Orton in a handicap match is up next, but Orton interrupts their entrance to get the jump on them and sending us to commercial.  Okay sorry WWE, TNA has Rob Van Dam on right now, I can't be bothered to watch Legacy.

Okay, the match was five seconds long, so we're back on Raw and I wish this match was five seconds long.  After what feels like the length of an entire show, Ted DiBiase nails Dream Street and picks up the win for Legacy.  I figured Rhodes & DiBiase would implode here, setting up a triple threat at WrestleMania, but now I have no idea what's in store for these guys in Phoenix... but honestly, I'm not sure I care.

After what felt like a long break, we're back and it's time to play the gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!  Triple H is here and is giving props to Sheamus for doing what he did last week.  Triple H mentions that he basically humiliated Sheamus at Elimination Chamber, but The Celtic Warrior isn't even going to let him finish his thought.  Hey, I don't blame Sheamus either, Triple H did cost him his "dobel-yeh, dobel-yeh eee Championship."  This whole Triple H/Sheamus business at WrestleMania is still kinda blowing my mind... and I can't believe Triple H referencing the fact that he got destroyed by The Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania 12.  Great tool to really sell their match, but it also never gets talked about anymore.  After months of his way-too-serious feud with Orton and then his way-too-goofy stuff with DX, I forgot about this Triple H.  The Triple H that can hang with John Cena, Shawn Michaels and Undertaker in terms of creating a big match situation. Great stuff, and I'm actually really stoked about this match now.

Now I'm hearing Audioslave's "Be Yourself," how many WrestleMania themes are there?!  Evan Bourne vs. William Regal is up next in our final Money in the Bank qualifying match, and for my money, no one enters a ring cooler than Evan Bourne.  This one should be a lot of fun if given enough time, plus Christian is at ringside on commentary, which makes everything a little better.  Unsurprisingly, the match doesn't get enough time, but Evan Bourne does win after an absolutely gorgeous Shooting Star Press, and the MITB if official: Christian vs. Kane vs. Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne... that may be the best line-up since the first one.

The greatest Superstar of all-time, Stone Cold Steve Austin is next week's guest host!  OH HELL YEAH!

Criss Angel made his pyro go off with magic, true story.  Angel is the guest ring announcer for the Main Event, and I gotta say, the guy is better on the mic than a lot of wrestlers.  He's a natural entertainer, and if he lifted some weights, he could probably be a wrestler.  Vince McMahon vs. John Cena is the aforementioned main event, and Vince is rocking the black jeans tonight, which means Cena is in big trouble.

And yeah, if you thought this match wasn't going to be a total clusterfuck, you might be new to pro wrestling.  Vince lets Cena know this is a handicap Gauntlet Match, pitting Cena against Vince, Vladimir Kozlov, Drew McIntyre, and Jack Swagger, but it's not really a Gauntlet Match, it's just a "send some dudes out whenever Vince calls for them match."  Laugh now, but it's going to be the main event of Extreme Rules.  Eventually, Vince grows tired of Swagger and calls for Mark Henry, who looks really disappointed in himself for what he's doing to John Cena.  Shame on you, Mark!  Even after the World's Strongest Slam, Vince can't pin Cena, and turns it into a no-DQ match.  Mark Henry tries to stop Vince from using the ringbell, but is speared by Batista!  Kofi Kingston tries to make the save (okay, he is still employed, just checking), but is hit with a NASTY! Batista Bomb.  Cena tries to Hulk up (yeah I said it), but gets a spear and a Batista Bomb of his own and Vince picks up the 1-2-3.  Ridiculous.

And thus concludes WWE completely no-selling TNA moving to Monday nights.  Not a great Raw by itself, but it did what it needed to do, continued the build for WrestleMania.  But next week, they look to be firing on all cylinders: Stone Cold guest hosting, Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels, John Cena vs. Big Show, Triple H vs. Randy Orton and the official contract signing for Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon.  The hype for Mania this year has been awesome, it's just a shame Raw can't seem to find any consistency.

Raw Thoughts - March 8, 2010

Smackdown Thoughts - March 5, 2010

Once again, Edge opened Smackdown to say the word "spear" a lot, but instead of Chris Jericho interrupting, this week it was Edge's opponent in the main event, The Big Show!  Typical set-up for the main event, but Edge gets the last laugh when Big Show rushes him, but gets dumped over the top rope!  Edge sure is getting the upper hand a lot since winning the Rumble... I'm not sure how I feel about his chances at WrestleMania.  Oh and a mild "lol" to them using the "I eat pieces of crap like you for breakfast" joke from Happy Gilmore.

Drew McIntyre got his loss to Kane last week expunged from the record, so he's still undefeated*, and got himself another MITB qualifying match, this time against Matt Hardy.  Tough break for Drew, going through all that trouble to get his loss erased, just to lose again to Matt Hardy, who hasn't won a match in quite some time.  But I like the idea of Vince McMahon just erasing McIntyre's losses and giving the guy a fake undefeated streak, it would infuriate the crowd.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin was up next, some more hype for the Money in the Bank match.  I think it's safe to say the MITB match is about more than just the briefcase for these guys, getting a spot on WrestleMania is a big opportunity for them to reestablish themselves after a rocky last few months.  Another big win for Shelton this week, but whether or not this is finally his time to step up remains to be seen.

The new Shawn Michaels DVD looks awesome.

I'm a bit surprised to see Ezekiel Jackson, I thought they'd keep him off TV until after WrestleMania as I mentioned on this week's Kick-Out!! Radio.  A bit disappointing seeing him go against a guy like Jimmy Wang Yang, he's above squash matches at this point, he was the last ECW Champion!  Here's hoping this is just a temporary thing since everyone else is busy with Mania hype, but Big Zeke should be mixing it up with the big names very soon.

Rey Mysterio has Tiffany babysit his daughter... ooookay?

CM Punk & The Straight Edge Society were out next to talk about how Rey Mysterio is only popular because parents aren't proper role models anymore.  Rey is their superhero, but superheroes aren't real, but these kids will cling to anything to fill the void left by their neglectful parents!  Another brilliant promo from Punk, when he started talking about Luke Gallows carrying guilt because of Rey Mysterio's "unprovoked" attack, I almost fell on the floor laughing.  I just got this picture of Luke Gallows walking around his house thinking "why did Rey Mysterio beat me up last week, did I do something wrong!?"  Hilarious.

Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio was the match, continuing to set things up for the rumored hair vs. mask match at WrestleMania 26.  Gallows is a bit underrated when it comes to in-ring ability, and Mysterio is the best in the business today at making his opponents look good, and those two things came together for a surprisingly (but not that surprising) good match.  Mysterio picks up the win and embarrasses Punk after the match by blocking the GTS, so I think it's safe to say it's a guarantee that these two will have a match at WrestleMania, but what kind of match remains to be seen.

Chris Jericho tried to convince his old partner to destroy Edge in the main event, but Big Show was not interested in helping the selfish World Champion.

Johnny Cash's "Ain't No Grave" should win a Slammy for best use of music in wrestling... these Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker promos would convince me to buy WrestleMania even without any other matches announced.

A shot at the Unified Tag Team Titles at WrestleMania was on the line in a triple threat tag match - Cryme Tyme vs. The Hart Dynasty vs. R-Truth & John Morrison.  I'm not surprised by the result, The Hart Dynasty vs. ShowMiz is heel vs. heel, Cryme Tyme vs. ShowMiz is a bit too similar to Cryme Tyme vs. JeriShow, which we already saw quite a bit last year, so that just leaves Morrison & Truth, who came out victorious.  Like I said, not surprised, but I find this team to be a bit weird.  I think Matt Hardy & R-Truth would make a great team (and they're both from North Carolina) and Morrison would be a better fit in Money in the Bank, but I suppose they wanted to play up on his history with The Miz?  I'm sure it'll be a good match regardless and I'm just glad Morrison & Miz have a prominent spot on the WM card.  They did kinda look like dorks after the match though, just sayin.

So apparently I may have overreacted a bit to Michelle McCool regaining the Women's Championship last week.  Apparently Mickie James is injured, so I understand needing to get the belt off her, but I hope this reign will be ending quickly, thanks to The Glamazon.

Main Event time, Big Show vs. Edge!  A bit of a short match, and while I've been complaining about the spear being a weak finisher for Edge over the last couple weeks, he's done a great job getting the crowd excited for it, so I guess it's working for him.  Big Show was the latest victim of the spear, and Chris Jericho got another one while trying to interfere after the match.  Still, this takes me back to my point earlier, Edge sure has been on a roll since coming back, he's gotten the better of everyone that has stood in his way.  Things seem to be going a little too smoothly for the Rated-R Superstar.

Another good episode of Smackdown that is setting up the biggest night of the year quite well.  The WrestleMania card is looking absolutely stacked at this point, the only matches that need to be officially added are Sheamus vs. Triple H and CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio.  I assume something with the Divas will happen, and hopefully that's McCool vs. Phoenix, and not an embarrassing multi-Diva mess like we got last year... or most years.  Still got three weeks of hype left, Raw is still a bit rocky, but Smackdown is as exciting as ever.

Smackdown Thoughts - March 5, 2010

WWE Superstars Thoughts - March 4, 2010

It's been awhile since I've reviewed Superstars, but there were a few things on this show that really stuck out that I felt I needed to discuss.

Our opening contest was Kofi Kingston vs. Chavo Guerrero and definitely an eye-catcher for me since I'm all for Kofi getting a decent-length match on television, and Chamois Guerrero is one of the more underrated talents on the roster.  I guess I could complain about Kofi being completely absent from Raw and instead being used to open Superstars, but since Superstars allows for more match time, King & Cole did a good job reestablishing Kofi, who has faltered a bit in recent weeks.  I will complain about the match being paused so the referee could tend to a minor cut about Chavo's eye.  This isn't coming from a "WE WANT BLOOD!" vampire fan mentality, but this is the one aspect of TV-PG that I cannot stand.  It kills the rhythm of the match and it only serves to piss the crowd off.  If the guys are planning on going into the crowd, I understand, you can't have guys bleeding on fans, but otherwise, what's the problem?

As for the actual match, it was pretty much exactly what I expected, Kofi working out some of his recent issues in a long-ish TV match against a veteran like Chavo Guerrero.  Fun back and forth action, crowd was excited for it despite it being stopped for a papercut, and it was a great way to start things off on WGN America.

Although Evan Bourne vs. William Regal would've made for a great opener as well.  I'm never going to complain when Evan Bourne gets any sort of TV time, even when it is just him getting destroyed, because he's just such an exciting, unique Superstar.  Every time Bourne is in the ring, you're pretty much guaranteed to see something that you don't usually see on WWE television.  And that's not to take anything away from Regal, who was especially brutal in this match, stretching Bourne with some NASTY! submissions.  The most exciting part of this match for me was the fact that Evan Bourne actually won, and I feel like I've said that a couple times lately.  Can we get this guy a US Title run?

I suppose now that ECW is gone, Superstars will usually feature two Raw matches and two Smackdown matches?  Our first SD match was Kane vs. Mike Knox, which wasn't something I was particularly excited about, and the match didn't change that perception.  Instead of giving my detailed thoughts on this contest, instead I'll share this exchange between Matt Striker & Todd Grisham, which was way more entertaining: 

Striker: How many Slim Jims do you think Kane could eat?

Grisham: All of them?

Funniest thing Todd Grisham has ever said.  Oh yeah, Kane won the match too. 

Main Event time, Goldust vs. Chris Jericho!  When's the last time Goldust got in the ring with a reigning World Champion in a one-on-one match?   This match was the main reason that I had to watch this week's Superstars, especially after Jericho posted this on Twitter:

I really dug the match with Goldust last night. Hes in the best shape of his life and is as good as anybody in the WWE. Very underrated.

And I really dug the match as well, this is what WWE Superstars should be every Thursday night.  Goldust looked amazing here, a mixture of his own talents and Jericho putting him over huge as a threat.  Striker & Grisham did a great job on commentary, the crowd was into it, and most importantly of all, the match was flat-out awesome.  I doubt Goldust will ever be a World Champion in WWE, but with matches like this, he deserves a prominent spot on the roster. If you missed it, make sure you see this match.

WWE Superstars Thoughts - March 4, 2010